Jedi Knight Aria

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

When they arrived, they spent a year trying to get in touch with someone from the Temple. Their extended family had some influence and eventually helped them meet a Jedi Master, none other than Mace Windu, who pulled them aside and explained the arrangement. It was a blow to hear they wouldn't be able to meet her, but Mace offered them some ease stating that she would be able to make her own choice when she got knighted.

She gets knighted and that's when Aria has to deal with the way her life would pan out from there on. The lack of permanence in a Jedis' life starts to eat at her. Because, until then she really hadn't lived a life on her own. She spent thirteen years as a youngling, surrounded by other younglings and from there she spent another eleven years with her Master. But its when she got knighted that things changed. While a decade is no small amount of time for a human, this was something she would have to get used to. While Mace Windu didn't take a padawan because the war broke out, she waited every week waiting to hear the news of the new youngling who would now be replacing her. Someone else needed his attention and it baffled her that she was so... angry.

And then while nothing is permanent, it seems to exist in all forms around her. In families, friends, relationships, and siblings. People choosing to be together and fighting tooth and nail to ensure that they didn't get separated unless it was death. And so she spends a good year getting angry at her own family that she isn't aware of. She wonders how a family could give up a child to the elusive and mysterious Jedi without knowing much about them.