fma 03 enjoyer

tell yourself things you do not believe. it feels stupid at first but I've done this for years and now I believe it when I say "I'm good at this" or "I love myself" or "I deserve good shit!"

make a note of every mundane good thing that happens to you. mental or literal notes! could be as little as "the sky is a nice shade of grey, it's calming" or "I ate a piece of fruit today, I'm looking after myself" or "I talked to a friend". again, feels stupid at first, but I genuinely believe this is part of why I have so many "good days". trick your brain into storing things in your long-term memory that you wouldn't otherwise remember.

critters! Go to a reputable zoo/rescue. Go on a hike with birdseed and feed chickadees from your hand. Befriend your local crowd. Grow plants to attract butterflies and moths and beetles. Go on walks just to find dogs to pet (always ask first) go to a pond to watch fish and frogs and ducks. Nothing makes me happier to be here than the animals I get to share this life with.

make art. Make good art or shitty art. Use oil paints or finger paint or crayons or chalk or watercolour or any other medium. When you’re in kindergarten and you make art you don’t know if it’s good or bad. You just know that you made something yourself. And sometimes the art is the process. The fact that we live in a world where we have the joy of creativity is amazing. You made something. Be proud of that. Have fun with it.

do fun things! Do kid things! Go sledding in the winter. Play mermaids at the beach. Make camp bracelets. Buy a dollhouse and decorate it. Roast marshmallows. Go to a playground and slide again. Use a swing set. Swinging + music is where it’s at.

Make an imaginary friend or bring back your old one. You don’t have to talk out loud or act crazy. Just pretend you have a dragon that nobody else can see. Imagine there’s a floating dolphin beside you. You have an imagination somewhere, I promise. It’s not dead, just dusty.

This joke could be told 500 times and it would never be enough for me

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

And you know what. Not only was it miserable, it's fucking bullshit. Being a man is a wonderful and beautiful thing to be. Being a man ain't inherently Evil or Bad. We shouldn't be out here inventing binary essentially 2: It's Reversed Now So It's Good Actually.

@ratcrux (I can untag you if you want, I just wanted to make sure ya saw)

This past year I've had at least 6 separate people tell me how safe they feel around me. Most knew I'm trans, but I'm generally stealth and a couple didn't. And it fills me with so much joy I tear up thinking about it!! Bc they feel safe partially because of my masculinity - I'm there to change their oil or install some shelves, I carry heavy loads for the stubborn old folks, and have been told by folks 2x my age I have "Dad qualities". I have the "male instinct" (lol) to protect and carry myself with strength, I just try to keep it gentle and tempered with a playful, ornery streak and a quick laugh.

Masculinity itself cannot "make" people uncomfortable in a way that means you should abandon it. Your responsibility ends at how you handle it - is your strength moderated with gentleness and care? Do you control yourself when you get fired up? Do you respect the autonomy of those physically weaker than you, and only step in when asked or if they're going to hurt themselves? Are you a kind, considerate person?

St Paul: *stares intensely at me*

Me:

Me: I'd dedicate myself to study, service, and silence.