we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

Pee changing color depending on ur hydration is very intuitive game desigm

the worst writing crime you can ever commit in my opinion is watering down the dirty talk because you’re self-conscious that it sounds like it’s from a bad porno…..i cannot stress this enough……leave it alone. the moment you tell yourself he would not fucking say that you’re doomed. people will say almost anything if their dick is hard enough

Babies are socially accepted parasites.

When u read Ayn Rand 1 time

They’re not a parasite, they’re a potential investment

When you read Ayn Rand a dozen times

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

simply cannot ever resist what i call the little mermaid or the tin man or the pinnochio plot, the one about a character who is either inhuman or human but outside in some way, constantly searching for whatever it is that they consider to be the quintessential proof of humanity, preoccupied by it so deeply that they fail to realize the proof is in the act and fact of the search itself

"I learned a lot from making this" is artist talk for "making this sucked ass and I'm not entirely happy with the result."

i'm so tired of social media users saying "successful people are abusing stimulants". unsuccessful people are too. #WEMATTER

Happy Pi Day, everyone! Have a visual that I will think of for the rest of my life.

My divorced cousin is asking me for tips on how to ask his trans coworker out and I'm like.... I don't know my friend the LGBTQ doesn't actually share a hivemind

Take her out to see twin peaks fire walk with me at an indie cinema or to watch Ethel cain live

Ok any suggestions that aren't potential microaggressions

Take her to ikea and buy her a shark plushie

Reblog for everyone

friends don't let friends use GIMP. use photopea

lord reblogging on main bcz fuck adobe (PROUD csp user)