Also, Conor McGregor blew out his knee in like nine seconds last night and Drake lost a million dollars betting on him.
So even better
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Also, Conor McGregor blew out his knee in like nine seconds last night and Drake lost a million dollars betting on him.
So even better

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one time i went to the doctor and said "i think i have some sort of damage in my neck from hurting it on a trampoline as a teen" and the doctor said "no you don't." and i said, "well, the day after i hurt my neck, my bioparents tried to make me climb a mountain because they didn't believe i was hurt, and just a few minutes up the mountain i sat down on the side of the trail because i was in so much pain i couldn't keep walking, and they just left me there, and eventually i forced myself to climb the rest of the mountain because i was terrified they were going to legitimately abandon me on the side of the mountain forever. and i'm here today because it just recently occurred to me that when most people say 'i have a crick in my neck' they mean 'i slept funny and now i'm a little sore' and not 'i'm functionally bedbound at the moment due to severe neck pain'." and the doctor said "you have permanent nerve damage in your neck."
The most made up part of this story is where the doctor admits they where wrong
Unbelievably based

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“Remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels 😇”
As if Joanne couldn't get any shittier, she misgendered and insulted a woman who called for support, all because the woman had PCOS/PMOS and "didn't sound feminine enough."
Fuck her.
Your shitty children's series isn't more important than people's lives.
A 75 yo man proudly came into the cafe wearing an Ultra Maga hat. I excused my barista from the register to handle the transaction.
"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."
"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"
"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"
"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."
"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"
I laughed. "I've heard that before."
"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."
I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"
Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.
There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.
Anyone wearing that type of shit and preying on workers for their own spank bank material is a brainless fucking sheep.

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Yall play mtg?
Yes sir! Be my husband, perhaps?
Why is there a diarrhea parasite outbreak in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to disease prevention and control.
Why is measles back in America?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including RFK Jr, cut vaccine and measles prevention funding and programs.
Why is the New World Screwworm infecting cattle in Texas, when it had previously been eliminated from the area?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Elon Musk, cut USAID funding, which in part worked to monitor and prevent screwworm outbreaks.
Why was there a flu outbreak in our armed forces?
Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Pete Hegseth, cut vaccination requirements for our armed forces, putting all of them at risk alongside our military readiness.
What contributed to the Covid outbreak?
Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to a pandemic prevention program in his first term because Barack Obama had created it.
“America first” sends its regards. Trump voters, please learn your lesson. And if you don’t, it’ll be taught to you again with yet another diarrhea outbreak.
Hell yeah!😛
Gotta catch ‘em all!

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Gotta be strong to carry that package!
Gift Wrapped