Leo / Jaz

Funniest part of Brand New Day was Peter going around introducing himself with fake names as if anyone's gonna know who Peter Parker is anyway

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

Pirate’s booty, Pirate’s penis, Pirate’s balls. All treasure.

What about a Pirate's soul?

it is a rookie mistake to assume that the person making deeply anachronistic, inaccurate, and fairytale-esque knightposts knows nothing about real knights. i know all about real knights. i just think overseeing the farmland on your estate, explicitly being in it for (more) land and money, fighting less than half the year, and dying of cholera is sort of boring while swearing undying oaths is really sexy

me as a detective: WHO DID THIS 😂😂😂

i refused to stay buried because i love you why are you running

babe it's me i'm just covered in dirt and blood because i had to claw my way up into the light and crawl on my hands and knees back home to you stop screaming