⭐

The guy’s just like “yeah, you gotta give it to em”

hey girl are you the boy with the pink carnation pinned to your lapel? cause there is something about you i recognize as fuck and it's sort of trippy. you have the same smile in your eyes and everything it's freaky

my dad took me to see brokeback mountain in theaters because it was not even a little bit promoted as a queer love story, so we had no idea. he was just like "cowboy movie! yeehaw" and then my dad realized what was going on before I did, and we watched people scream and throw food and walk out throwing tantrums, and my very undiagnosed anxiety disorder skyrocketed because of the crowd reaction. my dad asked if we needed to leave, I said the crowd was stressing me out but I was liking the movie. so he said "cool. let them leave and enjoy it in peace" which is what we did, and then I kept watching and I understood™️ and my anxiety did not get better, but on the drive home the only thing dad said was "well! they told a hell of a love story" and he said the nervous dad cackle, and at 14 I didn't get him very much at all, but I think he knew years before I knew and he was trying to figure out how to tell me it was okay.

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

you actually don't have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

lobbying the Olympic committee to recognize gay chicken as a real sport

Okay so I found the most incredible horse statue while doing research for my job and guys. Are you ready for this. Are you sure you're fucking ready for this thing

HONSE & hrse

@horsefigureoftheday Up your alley?

What the fuck

literally traumatizing to learn that the london bridge is in fucking arizona

....where did people think 'london bridge is falling down' came from?

i don’t necessarily conflate “falling down” with “being dismantled brick by brick and shipped to arizona to be rebuilt” but i guess its not my area of expertise

jesus said this

i hope the anonymous person who sent the "i used to live in your house. i'm drunk in boston and it's the only address i know. happy holidays" postcard is aware that they wrote my favourite poem

the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ has only been actually typed once by a single person, everyone else who has ever used it has just googled “shrug emoji” and copy-pasted it

why repaint the mona lisa

As someone who has painstakingly typed it out because I forgot there were other options, I can guarantee my forgery was not up to the quality of the original.

did you install a katakana keyboard just to type it or did you have to Google “katakana alphabet” or something and copypaste from that

that’s a guy who has lost control of his life. there is no more cheerful nihilism in his smile, no more mischief in his eyes. that’s an emoticon with clinical depression