Closeted sissy

•Booty Devotion•

Some whitebois chase status. You chase the perfect, juicy jiggle.

Hours of squats, oils, and dedicated posing - all so your King has a soft, bouncy cake to grab, smack, and bury himself in.

This is what real devotion looks like from behind. Round. Soft. Built for him.

• LUNARIS NOIR •

A fragrance for the moment she finally lets go.

Soft top notes of warm vanilla and blushing peony melt into a heart of creamy sandalwood and delicate white musk. At the base, dark oud and smoky amber create a deep, addictive pull — the scent of quiet surrender meeting undeniable power.

LUNARIS NOIR is the smell of small breast buds swelling under silk, of hips gently widening, of a whiteboi breathing deeper as she becomes her.

It’s the scent she wears when she kneels. When she arches. When she finally understands her place.

Soft curves. Deep devotion.

"So are we going to talk about it or pretend it never happened," my wife asked on Saturday morning.

"I...I don't know what you want me to say," I replied.

"Maybe explain why all that is on your computer."

"It...it's just porn, all guys watch it," I said.

She looked at me, thought for a moment. She pulled out her phone, pulled something up, started reading from a list.

"Get fucked by her man. Going gay for Emma. Pussy free. Your new pussy free life. Cum craving sissy. Triggered to swallow. Cum for cock. Sucking cock for her. Fluffing cock for her. Cock sucking sissy. Cock sucking sissy slut. Caged sissy slut. Learning to cum while caged. "

I looked down, silent.

"And my favorite, Therapist helps you tell your wife you crave cock."

"Suze..."

"This isn't normal porn."

"It's...isn't not...not like that."

"Want to know why the last one was my favorite? Because it explained so much. You're anxiety in bed, your fascination with lingerie I wear, hose. In that last one, the therapist said men...that's a weird word...boys like you often fantasize about cock while making love to their wives."

"Suze..."

"Have you?"

"I don't know," I lied.

The cock was inches from my face; I looked at it, looked over at my wife. "I'm so scared," I whispered.

She touched my face in a calm, reassuring way. "Every girl is her first time," she said. "He'll be special to you. Every man a girl sucks has a claim on her, but the first one has a different kind of claim because no girl ever forgets her first blowjob."

I was suddenly afraid I wasn't pretty enough, feminine enough. She read my mind, leaned over, whispered in my ear. "Look how hard he is," she said, "you're what he wants. Just close your eyes and do it like we practiced."

I did, I closed my eyes and let myself melt. I opened my mouth, leaned forward just a fraction, stuck my tongue, and licked the head of his cock, tasting the salty precum.

"That's my girl," my wife encouraged me. She put her hand on the back of my head, gently pushed me forward, and guided me to his cock. "Just hold it there for a moment," she said, "and savor him. Swirl your tongue around his head and taste him. This will imprint him in your mind, his size and shape, his feel, his taste. You'll measure every cock you ever taste against him.

My eyes opened, found my wife’s, and I moaned.

"That's it," she said, "savor him. You'll never forget it, you'll never forget him. That first cock will be on your mind forever. You'll have dreams about it, and you'll be thinking about it all the time, even when you're just with me."

I felt his hand on my head, holding me, guiding me. I couldn't move forward or backward; I could just hold his cock in my mouth, the taste of him imprinted on me. I blinked, afraid. Would I really think of cock every time I was intimate with my wife?

Here’s what I want you to do every single evening:

Wear a chastity cage. Now I know that some of you cannot wear one 24/7. But I want you to try, actually try. Most sissies struggle with sleeping caged because they haven’t adapted yet or they have wrongly measured the size of their cages/rings. That’s OKAY when it comes to this exercise. Also, not everybody has the means to buy a chastity cage. But at least during these sessions it is crucial that you are either caged or tucked in a way that is very restrictive.

Put on the girliest thing that you own. Not everyone is equally equipped. If you only own one pair of panties, wear them. If you have a full set of sexy pink lingerie, put it on. What matters is that it puts you into the right mindset and reminds you: You are not a man. You are a sissy.

Plug your boypussy. Be it with a butt plug, a prostate toy or a dildo. It needs to be some item that feels comfortable, long enough to reach your prostate and in a shape/size that does not need to be held in position with your hands to stay where it is.

Turn off the lights and lie down. Make sure you’re warm, comfortable and nobody will interrupt you. Remove or turn off all possible distractions.

Set a timer between 15 – 30 minutes. Remember that this training exercise should be done 7 days a week. It’s up to you to decide what’s feasible for your lifestyle. But no matter what you are trying to achieve in life, consistency is key.

Put on a song that makes you feel really gay and girly on repeat. Style and tempo are up to your personal taste. It can be instrumental music or a pop song with affirming lyrics. That’s completely up to you. What matters is that you always play the same song. Repetition is key for our brains to learn new things. I personally found that slower music suits me the best that’s why I chose "Whatta Man" by Salt-n-Pepa: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vgV_dVkXN4

Close your eyes and start visualizing MEN. It can be a particular type of man that you especially like (I know you have one). Or it can be random images of different men (at some point I even recommend to visualize men that you now think are "unattractive", but let’s not rush things). They do not have to be naked but they can be. Visualize their faces in detail: their eyes, their strong jawlines, their beards, their hair. Then go further and imagine their shoulders, their strong arms and hands. Is his chest hairy or smooth and muscular? Does he have abs or a nice sexy dad bod? How does his back look? And how would it feel to touch it? How would it feel to be touched by him? What do you think he smells like? Can you envision the sound of his voice? 

While you’re visualizing him (or them), I want you stimulate yourself: Clench your anal muscles against the toy you’re wearing. Feel your prostate heating up. Caress yourself on your thighs, your chest, your neck, your face, your arms. Wherever it feels good. It’s okay to moan a little if you want. Breathe deeply, in and out. Slowly rock your hips back and forth or in a circular motion. Press your legs together or spread them. Whichever feels right and sexy in the moment. But do NOT touch your clit. Try to ignore the discomfort that might occur. Right now, it does not exist. This is crucial.

However this goes: Do NOT think about his/their cock/s! I know it’s hard and at the beginning you might fail. But this is important and I’ll telly you why: You cannot see men’s cocks in public. And that’s what this exercise is all about: You really need to learn to associate excitement and pleasure with just seeing men in your daily life. This is what it means to be really gay, truly homosexual. Getting genuinely aroused by real men you see in your daily life. Your true sexuality manifesting in the real world far away from porn on your screen.

I sensed someone in my room, opened my eyes. My roommate, my best friend, as sitting next to me on the bed staring at me.

"What?" I mumbled, trying to figure out what time it was.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well what?" I responded, still dazed.

"How was it?" she demanded. "My god, don't be difficult."

"How was what?" I asked, not sure what she'd seen, what she knew versus what she speculated.

"You're such a jerk," she said, "sex with a man, how was sex with a man?"

"Ainsley..." I looked down, tried to figure out if she knew or if she was speculating. Tried to remember what happened. I saw the swell of my breastforms in the pocket bra, the babydoll I wore over. I felt the familiar tightness in my panties, where my little penis was safely locked in a cage. I also felt sore, down there, not just my penis, but lower. I tried to keep the reaction off my face, but knew it was obvious what I was thinking about.

"You slept with him," she said, half question, half statement.

"We were drinking," I said, which was both an excuse and a cover.

"Did you squirt?"

"Ainsley?" I blushed, thinking about him, first sucking him, then him wanting more, pushing, gently, slowly, entering me. He was slow and patient but always pushing us forward. It was while he was on top of me, pushing my legs back, just before he orgasmed that it happened. I was moaning, calling his name, when I started leaking, a little, then more, shaking, having an orgasm like a woman.

"Did you?"

"Y...yes," I said.

"Oh. My. God." She giggled, touched my leg.

"Ainsley..."

"My bestie, finally giving in to what she is."

"Ainsley!"