the facts were these

the goal is to always have days so good that you forget you have a phone

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

Went to the pharmacy to buy my depression meds but I was also buying draino for my shower and the pharmacy ringing me up goes "that too?" And I said "yeah just in case the meds don't work" and she did not laugh

wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

talking to americans is so funny they're like "yeah I'm going to Pittsburgh" and I'm like wow Pittsburgh like from Fallout 3. wow the west coast like from GTA5. wow Chicago from Chicago. don't get me started on New York. how does it feel to live in the places all the media is about

was Spider-Man there

your ex is a narcissist? so he must struggle with close friendships, right--oh, he's respectful to his male friends? he only acts this way around women? that's crazy, they should invent a word for such a phenomenon

I think the biggest "he would not fucking say that" I've ever experienced was when I read a terror modern au fic where the characters were doing land acknowledgements

"they should be in a healthy relationship with good communication" they should be obsessive freaks who stalk each other and have zero boundaries

I just love barking so I really couldn’t give a fuck if this is the right tree or not haha

i heard in america they love to drive so much that they have a place called Road Island