A novice cryptid's archive

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

I really love when cats use their front legs to hold something in place while they use their back legs to kick the absolute shit out of it

fun fact: this is a leftover disemboweling instinct.

the Masters of the Universe remake makes this video relevant again which means we are in the best timeline

played sims 4 for the first time and one of the married cis men had a desire to try for baby with his cis husband. i accidentally pinned it and could not unpin it. trying for baby is physically impossible. I tried to use cheats to give him a viable womb in create a sim but it wouldn’t let me do so retroactively. so I thought, maybe if they adopt the want for pregnancy will go away, and had them adopt a toddler daughter. but then the try for baby desire did not go away. since they now had an unwanted adopted child I tried to remove the toddler from the household, thinking this would send her back into the ether. it did not. instead she wanders the neighborhood like a feral cat. i thought the social worker would come and take her back so someone else could adopt her, but I guess there is no social worker in sims 4. so now the neighborhood is haunted by a smelly miserable baby that has no home but cannot die and everyone who sees her is uncomfortable. fucking omelas scenario.

no one is feeding her but every time she gets hungry she simply produces a carton of milk out of the ether and drinks it

OP— do ctrl+shift+C and type “testingcheats true” and then “cas.fulleditmode” into the bar, then go into CAS and change one of the sims to be able to get pregnant. mpreg is possible ALWAYS

I'm sorry, this was dune mpreg the whole time and you never thought to mention? Iconic.

it wasn’t relevant to my journey

You guys ever see a DNI that makes you break out into laughter and almost cry

Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison

Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck

This is compelling. Consider me fucking compelled.

Final shot is the bird hearing, but not seeing, the sound of a .32 ACP pistol, and flying away in shock

"From the studio that brought you Goncharov...."

yeah okay ill reblog that

”there are only the hands that feed her, and those that do not” yeah-

Kinda off topic but this reminds me of a story I once heard. There was some sort of public demonstration of this illusion where people could expirence it for themselves. A woman tried to participate, but learned she couldn't because they only had rubber hands to match white skin tones, none of them matched her dark skin at all. I still think about that sometimes.