The Sea of Jank

Orange cats need to be named ‘just some guy’-esque names. I see orange cats that are named Patrick or Dave or Bob and I’m like “yeah, exactly”. My orange cat is named Tommy even though she’s a girl because she’s truly a Tommy.

trying not to bawl in class over henry croutons

So others need not squint to read “On March 11, 889 CE, 17 year-old Emperor Uda wrote:  ‘On the 6th day of the 2nd Month of the First Year of the Kampo era. Taking a moment of my free time, I wish to express my joy of the cat. It arrived by boat as a gift to the late Emperor, received from the hands of Minamoto no Kuwasahi.  The color of its fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink. It has an air about it, similar to Kanno. Its length is 5 sun, and its height is 6 sun. I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long. In rebellion, it narrows its eyes and extends its needles. It shows its back. When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. you cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were a circular Bi disk. When it stands, its cry expresses profound loneliness, like a black dragon floating above the clouds. By nature, it stalks birds. It lowers its head and works its tail. It can extend its spine to raise its height by at least 2 sun. Its color allows it to disappear at night. I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.’”

goodnight to mulder and scully's shoulder pads and huge cellphones 🥰

look. i don’t think my stretch marks are beautiful. i don’t think they’re tiger stripes or natural tattooos. i don’t think my acne is beautiful. i don’t think the bags under my eyes are beautiful. i just think they’re human. and i don’t think i have to be beautiful all of the time in order to be accepted and loved and sucessful. i don’t think every small detail of my outer appearence needs to be translated into prettiness.

fun fact: this POV is actually called “body neutrality” and it’s SO MUCH more accessible/realistic for a lot of people. it’s based on the idea that the way we look is the least interesting/important thing about who we are, and that our bodies are worthy of respect regardless if they fit the mold of the current beauty ideals.

almost as if you can't control who lives who dies who tells your story

dream job

“Privately funding” Hmm, I wonder where she gets all that money? Could it be… from the public? 🤔

imagine you’re on a road trip with the love of your life and your boyfriend like, insists you pick up this fucked up little hitchhiker who’s like 4 feet tall and looks like he’s literally about to die, then you hear the hitchhiker conspiring to KILL you and your boyfriend and steal your shit, so you tell your boyfriend and he’s like “oh no he’s harmless you’re lying” and basically this fucked up danny devito sized slimeball breaks up your relationship and your boyfriend leaves you on the side of the road!! that’s what happened to samwise gamgee.