happy birthday, @droo216. i miss you so much every day, and i think about you all the time. i can't believe it's been almost a year. i hope you're somewhere with castles and endless stories.
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Hi, friends. Iâve been pretty inactive on here for the last month and I wanted to give you all an update about whatâs going on. Because the truth is that things are not looking good for me.
As you may recall, Iâve been battling my colon cancer for a few years now. My fight started in 2017, and then began again in early 2021. Since then Iâve been in and out of the hospitals, doing lots of chemo, and some radiation as well. Last month, abdominal pain and CT scans revealed a new obstruction in my colon, so Iâve been in the hospital since Dec. 9, 2022.
The reality is that my cancer is taking over my body and shutting me down. The chemo canât fight it anymore. I received a prognosis from the doctors a couple days ago, and they estimated that I have about a month left. Itâs a shorter amount of time than we ever expected to hear. We continue to hope, as I have defeated the odds before, but with the way things are progressing, the fact is that this timeline looks very realistic. We are continuing to process this news while still cycling through the stages of grief and also making huge decisions for how I can spend my remaining time.
I will be transitioning from the hospital to home care tomorrow, Monday, January 23.
This is the saddest and scariest time of my life. Moment to moment I donât know how Iâm going to feel as the emotions race each other. But I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. You all have brought me so much relief and distraction and joy over the years. I have made incredible friendships through the internet, through fanfiction and through tumblr and through instagram and through fandom and through the podcast. Thank you all for being there for me, for supporting me, for showing me so much love, for surprising me, for giving to me, for making me things. Iâll never have enough words to express what the tumblr community has done for me.
I donât know how active Iâll be in posting over the next few weeks. Possibly very active as I need distraction but possibly very inactive as I focus on the people around me as much as possible. Please donât hesitate to reach out though, as I will absolutely continue to check my inbox and chat messages.
It took Nefaria a moment to realize that the young man was prince Beau. Everything about him was sleek and shining â his hair, his clothes, his skin. He was dressed in a golden cloak and had a crown on his head. He was wholesome, handsome, smiling with empty eyes. Nothing like the shy, hunched young beast she had met four years ago.
He looked a lot more foreign to her like this.
This story is inspired partly by Disneyâs Descendants movies, but most of the names, ideas, clever details, and so on comes from Droo216 and his incredible Descendants AU.
Hereâs the second chapter. (And hereâs the prologue and the first chapter!)
Chapter 2
That spoiled, self-righteous little prince, Nefaria thought. I should have taken his stupid rose petals.
Her horns and her senses were sharp, and she was ready to go to Auradon. Silently in her head she had been plotting constantly, ever since she first heard that they were going. She had watched the people of Auradon for years. They werenât hard to grasp. She wasnât as worried as Vladimir â they loved to forgive in Auradon. They loved feeling noble and merciful. Tricking the inhabitants wouldnât be a problem.
But tricking Beau would. He was the only one there who had met her before. Nefaria had been too young to understand she couldnât show her real self to him. And now he knew too much about her.
Nefaria felt more at ease when she thought about what her mother had said.
Thereâs always another plan: Do as much damage as you possibly can.
Of course, her mother was right. That was one of the first things Nefaria learned about the world. Building is the hard part. Destruction always finds a way.
At first, her mother had just told Nefaria, Rizal, Angelika, and Vladimir they were going to school in Auradon. It wasnât until Nefaria had read the letter herself that she was informed about a âpossible summitâ, where ambassadors from all ten kingdoms would come together and negotiate the future of the Isle of the Lost. If the summit came to be, Nefaria, Rizal, Vladimir, and Angelika should be ready to play the part of the ambassadors from the isle. Until the summit potentially started, and if it did, while the negotiations were going on, they were supposed to study at the finest school in Rosencourt. There, they would educate themselves on topics of their choice, to be able to put their thoughts into words during the summit, bring forth their own arguments. Thatâs what the letter said.
Nefaria saw why her mother hadnât mentioned it â it wasnât important. It was nothing but empty words. Obviously, heirs from all the kingdoms of Auradon wouldnât drop everything to come together just to make the lives of the inhabitants of the isle better. They didnât care. They would come up with some excuse not to have one, and eventually, they would send Nefaria and her friends back to the isle. If they didnât take matter into their own hands, that wasâŚ
If the Auradons wanted peace, they could forget it. In this story, the villains would win. They would take what they wanted, and they would take it the only way they could â not by following the rules, but by breaking them.
But her motherâs plan had seemed underwhelming to Nefaria. Nefaria had always been convinced their parents had a plan. That they had plotted for the last twenty years about how to get out of the Isle of the Lost, so that when the opportunity finally came, they would be ready. Maleficent, Jafar, Grimhilde, and Cruella had private meetings at least once a month. They had to have talked about escaping. A lot.
Maybe theyâd never thought about an opportunity as good as this one.
When Nefaria thought about herself and her three closest friends, she realized something. Maybe their parents wanted to test them. Why would they give them more specific instructions? Why would they think they needed them? Nefaria had been able to transform into a dragon since the age of seven â for ten years â and she had flown over to Auradon regularly ever since. Angelika was a magical prodigy. Vladimir was almost as accomplished in making business as his mother, even though he was only seventeen. Rizal was brave, or foolish, enough to do just about anything.
They all had their strengths, and they were powerful. There were ways. They just had to be sly.
Especially if the Auradons were so stupid, they let them come there regardless of the risks.
She stopped herself. It wasnât âthe Auradonsâ who had decided that she and her friends came there.
It was Beau.
She had thought about their meeting many times, but somehow, she had never really thought about the last things he had said to her.
âWhen can we meet again?â
Impossible.
He couldnât possibly be risking the safety of his entire kingdom just to be able to see her again.
Could he?
Of course he could.
Realizing this made her angry. She had always wanted herself and her friends out of the Isle of the Lost, but not like this. Not with his help.
Â
A brown carriage was carrying Nefaria, Angelika, Rizal, and Vladimir to Auradon. The journey went underwater, the walls strengthened with magic, the carriage pulled by brook horses, and steered by a coachwoman with gills. Angelika, Rizal, and Vladimir had never seen anything but the isle before, and Nefaria had never been under water. None of them could stop looking at the windows. Everything seemed tinted a greenish blue â the sunlight reached all the way to the sea floor â and the seaweed moved slowly, as if from a gentle breeze. They even saw some merfolk, who stopped to look at them and even giving them a smile, waving, unaware of who they were.
All of it reminded Nefaria of Tallulah. The two of them had used to say they fit so well together, complemented each other; fire and water, merfolk and fairy. Under the sea, up in the air â none of them were bound to stay on the ground. Or inside the barrier, for that matter. They could both get through it whenever they wanted.
It had been over a year since theyâd last seen each other. Nefaria wondered where Tallulah could be. Probably out on the ocean somewhere, with a ship of her own. If Nefaria knew Tallulah well â and she knew she did â Tallulah wasnât sailing around without direction. When Tallulah had told Nefaria she wanted them to leave the isle together, sheâd had a plan. A plan for where she was going and why. She just never told Nefaria about it.
When Nefaria said she couldnât come with, Tallulah had given her one last kiss, and left on her own.
The carriage went up a slope, that led them out of the water and onto the docks of Auradon. They hardly had time to look around before being guided into another carriage. To her three friends, Nefaria thought, the steps from the first carriage to the second one could have been nothing but a jumble of light and colors that they didnât have time to take in.
The last carriage had been brown and plain, but the next one was made of gold and covered in ornaments. It was pulled by regular horses, white and unnaturally clean, and the coachman was human. Thick curtains covered the windows.
They were on land now, officially in Auradon. If they spoke low, they could be completely sure the coachman wouldnât hear them.
âNow,â Nefaria said, lowering her voice, leaning forwards, closer to the others, âwe plot.â
âNo, we donât,â Vladimir hissed, looking around the wagon, his eyes saying: We donât know who might be listening.
âNo one can hear us,â Nefaria whispered tiredly. âWeâre in Auradon now. No magic is allowed here, as you might remember. If there had been any sort of magic near us, I would have felt it.â
Vladimir rolled his eyes.
âWhatever you say,â he said, leaning back against the cushions, blatantly ironic. âYouâre in charge.â
Nefaria ignored him.
âThis is our one chance to prove ourselves to our parents,â she said, turning to Rizal and Angelika. âWhy do you think they gave us such vague instructions? Weâre not little children anymore. Weâre almost adults. We should be able to come up with something on our own.â
âSo what is your big plan?â Vladimir said, and Nefaria looked at him again.
âTo begin with,â she said, âweâre going to use that limp of yours.â
First, Vladimir looked like he was about to get angry. With controlled irritation, Angelika said:
âSo thatâs why you didnât want me to heal that really nasty wound your mother gave him?â
Nefaria nodded. Vladimir nodded, too, snickering.
âI thought you were just in bad mood,â he said.
Nefaria frowned. âIâm not in a bad mood.â
âYes, you are,â Rizal said. âYou have been ever since you heard we were going here.â
âI have not. Iâve just been thinking a lot.â She didnât like this, this sudden, intense need to defend herself.
So she changed the subject.
âThe point is, theyâll like the vulnerability,â she said. âTheyâll underestimate you, Vladimir. They wonât realize your best weapon is your brain.â
Vladimirâs facial expression softened a little.
âThat does seem kind of reasonable, I guess,â he said.
âAnd the rest of us?â Rizal asked.
âWe will use Angelikaâs intelligence, and your bravery. Angelika will do extraordinarily well in school and make them think itâs thanks to them.â She turned from Angelika to Rizal. âWeâll find a scenario where Rizal can show his skills, maybe rescue one of the Auradons from some kind of dangerous situation.â
âWhat if we donât find such a scenario?â Angelika asked.
âWeâll create one,â Nefaria replied, grinning. She hoped they wouldnât find one. The second option was a lot more fun.
Vladimir scoffed. âAnd you? What will you contribute with?â
Hearing Vladimir saying that made her feel threatened in a way she wasnât used to. On the isle, she was obviously the most powerful of the four, because she held the strongest magic in her. In Auradon, magic wasnât allowed. Everyone who practiced magic must register and they were watched strictly. Her biggest strength â which she sometimes thought of as her sole strength â could only be used with extreme caution, if at all. She wondered if that thought had crossed Vladimirâs mind, or Angelikaâs or Rizalâs, for that matter. Anger rose within her.
âIâm the one making the plans, as usual,â Nefaria said. âSince none of you seem to have one, as usual.â
As she spoke, she raised her hands and released her hair from the strict hairdo. Angelika looked at her in disbelief, unfolding her arms and gaping slightly.
âWhy on earth did you do that? We spent two hours on your hair!â
âI know Iâve just wasted several hours of my life in order to look presentable to this pathetic boy king and his little royal friends,â Nefaria said. âBut it doesnât have to be that obvious.â
âAre you insane?â Angelika was almost yelling. Then she remembered the coachman and lowered her voice. âWe are meant to play a part, remember? Weâre supposed to trick them. We have to look the part. We have to look like weâre grateful to be here. Like we want to be here.â
âWell, Iâm sorry Iâm not a very good actor,â Nefaria replied, throwing her head forwards and back again, setting her hair completely free.
âAnd donât fling your horns around like that, unless you want to take someoneâs eye out!â Rizal said, trying to sound angry.
âIâm hoping on it,â Nefaria replied, sounding so solemn, Rizal couldnât help but laugh.
Letting out a groan, Angelika gave up. âYouâre both hopeless.â
âAt least we donât take ourselves too seriously,â Rizal said. âYou should try it sometime. You might like it.â
âMaybe I will, but this is not the right time.â Angelika looked out the window, signaling that the conversation was over. For a moment, she looked like she could cry from frustration. The look on Vladimirâs face told them he agreed with her.
Nefaria almost felt bad, and she was worried, too. She could tell Angelika noticed she was acting strangely. They had all noticed.
Youâve been in a bad mood ever since you heard we were going here.
For some reason she hadnât thought they knew her that well.
Â
When they stepped out of the darkness of the carriage, they were met with so much light and color, they could have stumbled backwards. Nefaria had never been to Auradon during midday before, and the other three had never been there at all.
Right in front of them was the Beastâs castle. Around them were crowds of people, countless faces staring at them. A crier presented them as they smiled uncomfortably. The only one who seemed to enjoy the spotlight was Vladimir, which came as no surprise to Nefaria.
Then, they started walking towards the gates of the castle.
âAll the colors are so bright,â Vladimir whispered, making an effort to hardly move his lips at all. He was trying to sound irritated, but there was something resembling excitement in his voice as well. Leaning towards Rizal, squinting, subtly opening his coat wider, he continued: âTheyâre going to damage our eyesight.â
Rizal laughed discreetly. âJust as well. At least we wonât have to see all of this garbage.â
But she could tell they were fascinated. She was, too. Fascinated and equally disgusted. Angelika laid her fingers on Vladimirâs arm and whispered:
âItâs so warm, but without being sultry. Itâs strange, isnât it?â
Vladimir nodded, eyes forward, towards the gates at the end of the royal blue carpet, laid out in front of them like a trail to a new world.
None of the people facing them could hide their fear nor their interest. Nefaria was dressed in a long, white dress â her motherâs suggestion â and though she felt uncomfortable wearing anything that wasnât black, she liked the feeling of being in disguise. Angelikaâs dress was blue, flowing around her like water when she walked. It contrasted to Rizalâs red cloak, embroidered with patterns in yellow and orange, dancing in the wind like fire. Under his coat, golden for the occasion, Vladimir was wearing a dusty pink gala suit from the tenth kingdom. Nefaria had convinced Vladimir not to wear fur, and Rizal to shave his mustache, as she wanted them to look as different from their parents as possible. In a way, letting her hair down had been a wise decision. Maleficent never used to show hers.
The gates were opened in front of them and they stepped inside.
In the grand hall, they were met with the sight of two thrones, and two women and one young man standing in front of them. The women were the two most powerful people in Auradon â Â Belle, the High Queen of Auradon, and the Fairy Godmother, the Arbiter of Justice.
It took Nefaria a moment to realize that the young man was prince Beau. Everything about him was sleek and shining â his hair, his clothes, his skin. He was dressed in a golden cloak and had a crown on his head. He was wholesome, handsome, smiling with empty eyes. Nothing like the shy, hunched young beast she had met four years ago.
He looked a lot more foreign to her like this.
She curtsied deeply, and raising up again, she said:
âYour highness. We are not worthy of the generosity that youâve shown us. Without your honor and kind heart, we would still be on the isle with those⌠loathsome miscreants.â
Only her friends could spot the irony in her voice, and only she could make out the amusement on their faces when their smiles widened.
Beau smiled, too, and after welcoming them, he said:
âWe are the ones who should thank you, for agreeing to this opportunity to negotiate the future of Auradon and the Isle of the Lost. We know how much talent, intelligence, and ambition the inhabitants of the isle possesses, and we hope that this will be the beginning of a process of sending even more of them over.â
Now that she was close to him, she could see his eyes. They were still the same. Realizing that soothed her. Big, dark blue eyes. Up close, his look didnât seem empty anymore. It felt like he saw her. Then, she noticed his hands. They were trembling. She smirked. Maybe he hadnât changed as much a sheâd thought.
She realized what he had said. Could it be true? Could he actually be planning on letting more people out of the isle? She looked around. Everyone from the court, everyone who seemed to have power in Rosencourt or be close to the royal family, seemed to be gathered around them. Could he really be saying something like that so publicly if it was just empty words?
âIt is my greatest pleasure to introduce four young ambassadors from the Isle of the Lost.â He took a step forward and presented them all, Nefaria first, then Rizal, then Vladimir, then Angelika. As he did, he made them sound like royalty.
Â
Afterwards, they found themselves at a welcoming ball. They had all known about it, but it still felt overwhelming, at least to Nefaria.
After watching the people around her for a while, she realized she had seen a lot of them before, on her flights over to Auradon. Knowing that she had the advantage of knowing them, even if it was just for a little, made her feel smug. Things were going well. Vladimir walking around, his limp just visible enough to gain attention, greeting everyone he met with the same graceful courtesy and responding to comments like âOh, you poor thing! What happened to your leg?â with heroic answers like: âDonât worry, itâs just a scratch.â Rizal subtly flirting with basically every person the same age as him at the ball, making one of them after the other laugh at his jokes. Angelika, wanting to take in every inch of the room, probably analyzing everything she set her eyes on, but never leaving Nefariaâs side.
Nefaria looked across the room, where Beau was talking to princess Lilith. The breathtakingly confident, well-educated, immensely wealthy, perfect daughter of Queen Aurora and King Philip. Ever since Nefaria first saw her, jealousy had been boiling in her stomach. Now, as she saw her talking and laughing with Beau, the jealousy boiled over to hate. Princess Lilithâs arrival had been more excessive and pretentious than Nefaria could have ever imagined. It had been a parade of horses, knights, servants carrying squirrels, rabbits, songbirds, and owls in gilded cages, a huge carriage lead by four black unicorns, and even more than that, that Nefaria didnât even have the energy to remember.
In a way, it made her glad. Beau couldnât possibly be impressed by someone who presented themselves like that. Or could he? He seemed to be having a good time with Lilith, at least from afar.
Nefaria had good reasons to have a chat with Lilith. Why not walk up to them and interrupt their little conversation?
Before she could take a step, Angelika had grabbed her arm.
âDonât even think about it.â
Nefaria pulled her arm loose.
âLook at me,â Angelika said. Reluctantly, Nefaria did as she asked.
âNow is not the right time,â Angelika whispered. âI could tell how upset you were when you saw her. Itâs understandable. You two will have your little talk about your parents and the past, but not right now. Right now, we need to be polite and charming and not take any risks.â
âI should at least get to introduce myself,â Nefaria growled.
Just as she said that, Lilith turned and looked straight at her. Then, she and Beau walked up to her and Angelika.
Lilith was as tall as Nefaria, and so beautiful it would have frightened her, had she been someone who was frightened easily. There was something eerie, almost supernatural about Lilithâs beauty.
âNefaria, Angelika,â Beau said. âI would like you to meet Crown Princess Lilith of Fairedge.â The princess curtsied, looking at Nefaria with a stare that was so intense, Nefaria for a moment almost was frightened. The look in Lilithâs eyes was the exact look that had drawn Nefaria to Tallulah â and pushed her away from her. A dangerous confidence, a beauty to be feared.
Lilithâs smirk widened. Ignoring Angelika, she stared Nefaria down, saying: âIt Is truly lovely to finally meet you in person. Beau just told me the most wonderful things about you.â
Forcing a smile, Nefaria said: âReally? Iâm delighted to hear that.â
âI think we will have lot to talk about,â Lilith said.
âI think we will,â Nefaria replied.
Nefaria thought she was handling the situation well, but suddenly, she noticed how Beau was looking at her. There wasnât just suspicion in his eyes â it was like he knew exactly was she was thinking, could actually feel how much hate that was filling her.
Even though not even Lilith seemed to have caught up on it.
That must have been why Beau was so quick to lead Nefaria and Angelika away from Lilith, saying he wanted to introduce them to two of his closest friends.
âTheyâre the only ones except for Lilith and yourselves who are already here for the summit,â he said. âThe others will arrive shortly.â
âYou mean, the summit will actually happen?â Angelika couldnât help but ask.
âWhy, yes, of course,â Beau replied. Leaning closer to them, he whispered: âThe only one really hard to get here was Lilith, and, as you can see, she is definitely here now.â
They were introduced to a young man and woman with long, brown hair and smiles like sunlight. Their hair was the exact same length, and their facial features were so similar, they had to be twins. The woman had her eyes closed and were being led around the ballroom by her brother.
âViola and Sebastian, I would like you to meet Nefaria and Angelika, two of the ambassadors from the Isle of the Lost. Nefaria, Angelika â Viola and Sebastian of Corona.â
Talking to Viola and Sebastian seemed to melt away at least some of the cold feelings Lilith had made Nefaria feel. Both Viola and Sebastian had such a calmness and softness about them, and Nefaria quickly forgot Viola couldnât see. Because she hadnât felt so noticed in a long time. Viola seemed to understand her and Angelika, in a way that only someone who actively questions their own prejudices can. Nefaria felt like she could have talked to Viola and her brother for hours.
Â
After the ball and the following dinner, Nefaria, Angelika, Rizal, and Vladimir were led to their rooms. The room Nefaria and Angelika shared was pink and white all over, the bedsheets, canopies and tablecloths all decorated with lace.
Finally, they were alone. Finally, Nefaria could tell Angelika the one thing she had wanted to say for several hours.
âThis wonât work. I canât play a part â prince Beau will know if I do.â
Frustration and surprise were beaming out of Angelika. âWhy?â
âI donât know. I could just tell from the way he looked at me.â
Angelika folded her arms. âThere is something youâre not telling me.â
Almost losing composure, Nefaria wondered what to say. She hadnât expected Angelika to figure that out, at least not so quickly.
âNo, itâs not,â Nefaria said. âWhy would you think that?â
âYouâre hiding something.â
âNo.â
âWhat are you hiding?â
Nefaria sighed. Usually, Angelika wasnât very stubborn. When she was, there was no use trying to argue with her.
âIâveâŚâ After a short hesitation, she continued. âI have met the prince before. Once. It was four years ago. He got to know me a little, I guess. We talked for a while.â
âTalked? About what? Why?â
âHe told me heâd give me the petals of the enchanted rose if I talked to him, so I did. He saw me when I flew here to take them.â
Angelika snorted. âWhy didnât you take them, then?â
Nefaria had wondered that herself for a long time. Without understanding why, she hadnât wanted him to think she had talked to him all night because she wanted the petals.
âI had to escape quickly,â Nefaria lied. âWe heard someone coming. There was no time.â
Angelika thought about it for a moment before speaking again.
âI donât see how this can be anything but a good thing, though,â she said. âIf anyone can gain his trust, itâs you.â
âYou donât know what youâre talking about.â
âDo you have a better suggestion?â
âOf course I do. Did you see Vladimir limping, those faces of pain he made? Heâs playing his part perfectly. Now we just need to let people see the wound and let them know my mother did it to him. Not only will they pity us, but theyâll be convinced weâre not on her side. As for Rizal â he is strong, he is brave ââ
âYou mean dumb?â
âI mean that itâs the same thing to these people. Iâve seen what the girls in Auradon act like. They think being a damsel in distress is the best way to find someone to fall in love with, and thatâs what they all want, to fall in love. Rizal could win over one or more of the powerful young women around here easily. We will make sure he gets the chance to rescue a girl, which wonât be that hard, consider the girls around here seem to try to get themselves in trouble.â
Angelika squinted with her left eye. She always did that when she wasnât buying something someone told her.
âThat seems a bit like⌠simplifying things,â she said.
âIâm the one who has actually been here before!â
âAnd Iâm the more intelligent one,â Angelika replied, smiling sweetly.
It annoyed Nefaria that Angelika wouldnât listen to her. She wasnât going to show it, though â it wasnât the right approach.
âAnd what will I do, if doing well in school isnât enough?â Angelika asked.
âYouâll come up with something,â Nefaria said. âYouâre the best witch on the isle, and thereby in the entirety of the nine kingdoms.â
âYou know flattery doesnât work on me, Nefaria. Especially when you tell me things I already know.â Angelika folded her arms. âI still think you have to use your relationship with the prince. Iâm beginning to think youâre the reason he brought us here in the first place.â
Nefaria shrugged and shook her head. That wasnât something she wanted to talk about, not right now. Instead of answering, she looked past Angelikaâs face, out the window. On the horizon, she saw a ship, and she thought about Tallulah again.
She missed her.
Someone knocked on the door. Nefaria turned her eyes to Angelika, who was smiling victoriously.
âItâs the prince,â she said. âI guarantee it.â
Nefaria shook her head. âNo, itâs not. Itâs probably Vladimir or Rizal. Itâs not him.â
Angelika opened the door, and she was, as usual, completely unsurprised to discover she had been right.
It was Beau.
âGood evening, ladies,â he said. As he spoke, he turned from Angelika, to Nefaria. âIf you allow it, Angelika, I would like a walk with Nefaria. Alone.â
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JENNY SLATE as LEAH PERALTA, a bisexual Jewish feminist detective with ADHD, an aversion to paperwork, and the investigative skills to match.
GAEL GARCĂA BERNAL as ALEX SANTIAGO, a first-grade detective with plans to become the youngest captain in the history of the NYPD.
VIOLA DAVIS as CAPT. RHONDA HOLT, the new head of the Nine-Nine; sheâs been an openly gay Black police officer since 1985, and you canât stop her.
TRACEE ELLIS ROSS as SGT. TERRI JEFFORDS, solid muscle with a heart of gold and a whopping case of PTSD who views the squad as an extension of her family (because they largely have the same emotional maturity as her twin toddler sons)
ALANO MILLER as (ROLANDO) DĂAZ, the silent type whoâs slow to trust but feels deeply; rides a motorcycle, has brunch friends, carries an axe with him, adopts stray puppies.
MELISSA McCARTHY as CAROL BOYLE, effusive, diligent, and persistently positive, she isnât a leader but will play every position on the team and be the cheerleader.
ADAM PALLY as GENO LINETTI, the ill-equipped personal assistant to Captain Holt and childhood BFF of Leah Peralta; believes heâs going to be the next tech billionaire or viral prank star.
KATE FLANNERY & JANE LYNCH as NORMA SCULLY & MARYELLEN HITCHCOCK, the two oldest members of the squad, stalled out circa 1994 as third-grade detectives -- they might be married, but no one really wants to ask because they have no sense of boundaries.
NIECY NASH as JUDY DOUGLAS, a.k.a. THE PONTIAC BANDIT, Peraltaâs nemesis slash best friend slash a car thief slash dog fraudster slash bar mitzvah deejay.
GOD, was I ever. I remember being five or six and running down to my mum about an hour after bedtime, crying about how I didnât want to die someday while she tried to calm me down. I was nervous moving up into secondary school and college, too, because they felt like such giants leaps towards âadulthoodâ, but I think I learned to process it a bit better as time went on.
Flounder: Describe your best friend.
Ooooh, I donât like choosing favourites so Iâll pick one at random.
Her nameâs Rachel, and we met when we studied English together in our undergrad! She works in media these days, running graphics on the news and suchlike, and sheâs a really lovely painter too, I always enjoy seeing her new stuff. Out of my college friends, sheâs probably the one I see most often, weâll often meet up for coffee or go to see a movie or show together, sheâs just really sweet and fun to hang around with.
Nala: Did you have any childhood crushes?
None that I can remember! Once I got to highschool, I really wanted to be friends with this one guy in my class - tall, blonde, a member of the rugby team - though I didnât really understand why at the time. It was only after I started coming to terms with being gay that I looked back on that and had a moment of â... okay, thatâs that explainedâ.
Judy: Whatâs one thing you would change about the world?
Having spent the day seething over Dominic Cummings probably slithering off scott-free after breaking lockdown rules over in the UK, some consequences or accountability for those in power sounds lovely.
Moana: What makes you a hero?
I think I try to listen and be kind. Even if I canât say anything particularly useful, I still think thereâs value in being a shoulder to lean on, or saying something that helps someone forget their troubles for a bit.