efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girlsâ˘"

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@jane-hates-everything-else
efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girlsâ˘"

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had a dream that there was this new tiktok trend called "scrubbing" where people would take images of fictional characters and put them in images of bathtubs and drag around transparent pngs of soap and brushes with their tiktok art tablets and like liquify tool their hair down to mimic giving them a shower. and people would get into flamewars in the comments of every single video over the types of soap they picked and if the images had decently removed backgrounds and if they got soap in their eyes. and it got onto the news because it turned out everyone doing the trend was doing it compulsively like they physically couldn't stop and each video was a solid few minutes long because they were just collectively obsessively recording themselves fake-showering these fictional characters and arguing about it online
for the record I have never used tiktok and like explicitly in the dream I learned about it secondhand from a discord server so there's that also which is funny I think
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Closest match: Mya arenaria isolate MELC-2E11 chromosome 1 Common name: Soft-Shell Clam
This damn site. If I described this site as accurately as I could, I would be unable to justify the time I spend here.
Did Tumblr REALLY just cover my screen with a Kalshi ad for an âad breakâ
I knew this website was going downhill but DAMN
the issue with growing up in the 2000s and 2010s was like there was this really big push toward "accepting your weirdness" overall but they meant like idk wearing mismatched socks or something not being tangibly beyond the norm in any way shape or form
tumblr is so funny within my mutual circle ppl will be like cannibalism as a metaphor for sex is honestly so overdone đ like itâs not even transgressive anymore itâs just vanilla atp đ and then you go a little too far outside that circle and people are trigger tagging memes about infidelity
me, to my roommates: cnc is vanilla, practically everyone i've ever fucked has been into cnc. incest is also just something that everyone is into, it's basically the #1 porn search category. i'm a little embarrassed about how normal my kinks are, since the weirdest shit i'm into is basically knifeplay and bloodplay and intox...
my roommates:

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you have to love the tgirl but you have to let her love you back too
transfem affection and attraction is painted as inherently predatory to a degree that drives us to be constantly on edge. it makes us fucking paranoid. do you know how awful it is to worry if itâs safe to lean your head on your close friendâs shoulder? to be openly desired and even flirted with but never flirt back for fear of being labeled a creep? to be unable to cuddle up with your date because youâre terrified of how they might respond? do you know how much that fucks a person up?
you have to let the tgirl love you back. you have to.
One of the ways transmisogyny manifests is in default-uncharitable interpretations of ambiguous meaning.
Last week I was at a meetup where I was the only transfem. I checked the groupchat when I arrived and there was a message from the organiser: "We have a newcomer called X, can you look out for him if you get there first?" I located X, introduced myself, sent a message to the chat say, "I have located X," and continued to talk to him until the organiser arrived. When the organiser arrived, she was not happy with me. It turned out my phone had autocorrected, "I have located X," to, "I had located X," which the organiser interpreted as me passive aggressively telling her that I had already done the thing she was asking about. Her conclusion: I was unreasonable and aggressive in responding to her reasonable request. My explaining what had happened didn't convince her otherwise.
A different occasion last week: in a local trans groupchat, a trans man sent a link to a drag event happening in our town. A few people said they were already going, some said they might go. Then a trans woman replied saying, "Thanks, but I don't really like drag." Her tone was immediately called into question. Her words were assumed to communicate: "I think you are a terrible person if you like drag," even though she never said that. Several non-transfems who had never even heard that drag might not be universally-beloved by everyone were upset to discover that fact. A trans woman simply saying she didn't like this thing became A Big Deal.
Meanwhile, at a different event again, a trans man told a group that he was straight and attracted to women, but he wouldn't feel comfortable bringing home an "AMAB woman" (yes he actually said that). It was quickly brushed over, and after he had left even trans women tried to defend him by saying "he probably didnt realise people would be offended" etc etc. In contrast to the examples above, he is not even aware that anyone was upset by what he said, never mind worrying about what consequences he might face.
Whenever I go to an event, I often spend the next 24-48 hours ruminating over every single thing I said to check if I did anything at any time that could even vaguely be construed as annoying to anyone. I have often put this behaviour down to severe anxiety, but I think I am realising that it is actually a rational response to a world where even the slightest social misstep could be blown way out of proportion and result in my later social exclusion. It's one of those things that existed long before I was aware of my own transness but while I was nonetheless transmisogynised by society, a crippling fear of the slightest imperfection that I assumed everyone else felt too but apparently they don't. I guess when other people go out of their way to smoothe over the damage your words or actions might cause, you don't need to stress about that damage because there are no consequences to it! It sounds very nice to be able to live like that.
The underlying message of societal transmisogyny is that transfem existence is an intrinsically-disgusting crime against nature to be âcorrectedâ. We are ALL indoctrinated into this, and so being treated like human garbage for any little slight still feels like a step up from expectations because at least ostensibly thatâs still being treated like a âhumanâ.
As though being tolerated is the best we can hope for.
Itâs clear to me that so many people experience that disgust, suppress it because it conflicts with their politics, but then will eagerly jump at any excuse to treat us how their gut told them to in the first place.
And yes this is specifically a transfem issue â transmascs are, at worst, seen as âsadâ or âmisguidedâ, whereas for us transfems every social interaction carries a nonzero chance that weâll be seen as dangerous monsters.
She got the idea for the study while walking with her advisor at Stanford to discuss her thesis topic, and the paper she eventually published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology in 2014 is sharp enough that it should have ended the seated meeting on the day it came out.
She ran 4 experiments on 176 people. Same person tested twice. Once sitting, once walking. The creativity tasks were the standard ones psychologists have used for decades to measure how good a brain is at generating novel useful ideas.
81% of participants in the first experiment produced more creative ideas while walking than while sitting. In the second experiment, 88%. In the third, 100%. Every single person walked into a more creative version of themselves. On average, people generated 60% more novel useful ideas the moment their legs started moving.
The skeptical question is the obvious one. Maybe it was the fresh air. Maybe it was the scenery passing by. Maybe it was the change of environment doing the work, not the walking itself.
Oppezzo killed every one of those explanations with one experimental decision. She put people on a treadmill facing a blank wall. No scenery. No fresh air. No environmental change. Just legs moving in place while staring at white drywall. The 60% boost held.
Then she ran the experiment that closed the case completely. She took participants outside in two conditions. Half of them walked through a Stanford courtyard. The other half were pushed through the exact same courtyard in a wheelchair. Same outdoor stimulation. Same scenery passing at the same speed. The only difference was whether the legs were moving.
The walkers produced dramatically more novel high-quality ideas than the wheelchair group. The outdoors did almost nothing on its own. The walking did everything.
She also tested the opposite kind of thinking. Convergent thinking. The kind where there is one right answer and you have to narrow down to it. Word puzzles where 3 words share a hidden fourth word that connects them. The seated participants did slightly better on these. Walkers got slightly worse.
Walking is not a general intelligence enhancer. It does one specific thing. It opens up the divergent search inside your brain. The part that generates options. The part that produces unexpected connections. The part that takes a problem and finds five ways into it instead of one.
When you need to converge on the single right answer, sit down. When you need to find the answer in the first place, get up.
The mechanism is now well understood. Walking selectively activates what neuroscientists call the default mode network, the system inside your brain that runs when you are not consciously focused on anything. The DMN is where mind-wandering happens. Where memories cross-reference each other. Where ideas that have been sitting in separate folders inside your head finally bump into each other.
When you sit at a desk and force yourself to concentrate, you suppress the DMN. When you walk at a natural pace, the executive part of your brain gets just busy enough handling the walking that the DMN comes online and starts doing the work that focus was blocking.
The most useful finding in the entire paper is the one almost nobody quotes. The boost did not turn off the moment people stopped walking. Participants who walked first and then sat back down stayed elevated. Their next round of seated creativity work was still significantly better than people who had been sitting the whole time. The rest lingered for at least several minutes after the legs stopped moving.
You do not need to do creative work while walking. You need to walk before the creative work. The brain holds the state.
Edited down a long tweet. (x)
After some years of HRT I've been left with this deep, low simmering rage. Because what do you mean it was always this easy to be happy
I take a shot once a week, and even if that was too much, I could do it as pills, and so many of my problems just evaporated overnight.
And not one person thought to bring it up.
When I was talking about how horrifying puberty felt. When I was cutting myself. When I was in inpatient care. When I attempted suicide. When I talked for YEARS in therapy about how dissociated and trapped I felt in my body. When I felt like I never truly fixed something that was deeply wrong about me that started at puberty.
Not one person said it was a possibility. No one thought "hey, maybe this kid should go to someone trained to identify dysphoria". No one mentioned that trans people weren't some weird other group of people. It didn't have to be pressure. It didn't have to be "forcing" me. Just mentioning that trans people exist and it could be me. That it was possible and it was easy. No pushing, just laying the option out there.
HRT is treated like this last ditch option. This horrific, mutilating thing that I GUESS we can give to you if you have NO OTHER options. Because did you know it's permanent? Did you know you'll be on it for the rest of your life? Did you know the health risks? Did you know it'll make you infertile? Did you know that it's deviant? Did you know that it's an alternative lifestyle for other people?
No one said it was okay to WANT it to be permanent. Or noted that most people are reliant on the medical system in one way or the other anyways (and it's not even necessary for HRT). Or that the health risks are the normal parts of having that hormone, even in cis people of your gender. Or said it was okay to not want kids, or mention that you can just freeze gametes. Or acknowledged that the "deviant" people are just people, living their lives, that have been violently pushed out of "normal" society.
I grew up in an area that Republicans mock for being a kind of "woke central". And even then it's just. Not treated as an easy option. It was never on the table if you don't specifically already know you're going through gender stuff, and no one will help you get to that point. At which point, it's still treated like the last ditch option. Did you know you can be a feminine man? Did you know you can slap a "she/her" in your twitter bio and be done with it? Did you know that you're oh-so-valid without it? Did you know that you shouldn't take HRT? Maybe don't take HRT? Don't take HRT? Don't take HRT? Don't ta-
When you've been in it a while, HRT is the easiest, most casual thing in the world. Just pop a shot on a Saturday as part of your "everything shower" routine and you're done.
Anyways. Support trans kids always and forever.
And if anyone comes swinging in here with "but Sierra you don't have to take HRT to be trans this is toxic" I'm going to fucking scream, because that is the status quo. "Just do this without doing this" has become a "give them an inch" refrain when making ourselves "acceptable" to the cis. Of COURSE you don't need to take HRT. I'm only reminded of it a dozen times a day.
The maddening thing is that recognizing Iâm trans wasnât the thing that finally helped me. Itâs the fucking estrogen. I went from feeling like an empty husk to an actual living person before my tits started coming in. Iâd sooner give up my antidepressants, because theyâre not as important to my mental health.
Honestly people donât even talk about the *psychiatric* effects that HRT has on a trans personâs brain that take place before any physical changes.
For the first time I didnât feel I was being suffocated by my own skin.
me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

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What an interesting type of âchaotic evilâ.
super hot evil demon queen attempting to groom a helpless, clearly closeted male hero into being her cute little thrall, but accidentally gives her too much encouragement & ends up getting defeated by a superpowered hero girl
whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3
wait i never posted this
What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless
FOOD
Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food
grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread
different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.
some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit
SHELTER
Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment
sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone canât steal it
Some churches offer short term residence
Find your nearest homeless shelter
Look for places that are open to the public
A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry
HYGIENE
A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.
Public libraries have bathrooms you can use
Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.
Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver
Local beaches, go for a quick swim
Some truck stops have showers you can pay for
Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet
Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket
OTHER
first aid kit
 sunscreen
 a travel alarm clock or watch
 mylar emergency blanket
 a backpack is a must
 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards
 sleeping bag
 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror
 swiss army knife
 can opener
Reblog to literally save a life
if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles
Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.
Save a life reblog
i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess
also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.

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being meguca is suffering