Rebloggity Blog

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

blog like no one's following you

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Anyone say masochism may?

It’s masochism may

Let’s all come together for what really matters (masochism may)

Had a dream that I was living on the Animal Crossing Island and that they had added Burglary to the world. You had to pay Tom Nook thousands of bells to install a security system or your neighbors would sneak in and take one piece of your furniture. And if you saw your stuff when you were visiting their house you had to choose whether to bring it up and demand it back, or just let it slide for the sake of your friendship with them.

(absolutely haunted expression, 1000 yard stare) Do yuo want to play with me this weekend

If you become friends with someone they might offer you shelter or sources of protein

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again