Unbetitelt

Leading up to the ceremony ‣ knowing they would not be thrilled, the couple is not informed of the arrangement until it is set in stone and only few weeks away ‣ A had to be locked up and guarded in the days leading up to the wedding to make sure they don‘t run away ‣ B had to physically be dragged to A‘s kingdom

Right before the ceremony ‣ A threatens to stab their promised spouse upon meeting them at the altar ‣ B is threatened by their parents about making a scene during the wedding ‣ both expect the other to be much older than themself, arrogant, or otherwise undesireable ‣ “Is that a knife in your sleeve? Give me that, you are not killing your spouse before the vows are even read!”

During the ceremony ‣ the promised couple meets at the altar… and both wonder why their parents failed to mention that their promised spouse is H O T ‣ both relaxing as they make little comments during the ceremony, matching each other's freaks ‣ both only having prepared passive aggressively insulting vows and either reading them with matching smirks or improvising new ones

-

*Damian, out of nowhere on patrol one night*

Damian: you know.., there was a solid 2 year period at the league compound where i thought you were Batman.

Jason:

Jason: what?

Damian: yeah- ‘cause like, i was seven. and i met you for the first time after you came out the pit and were all big already. and i didn’t know anything about my father apart from, like, what my mother told me of him, right? and so when i met you, and i never actually heard anybody call you your name—just Mother referring to you as ‘one of Gotham’s greatest heroes’ and everybody calling you ‘prince’, in my little seven-year-old head, i was like ‘ok so this must be him then’.

Jason: what the fuck.

Damian: well you looked a lot like him. i’d only ever seen one grainy photo of the man taken from a distance and you fit the description; same build, hair, eyes, broody manner and passion for justice. you were everything i’d ever thought Batman was supposed to be, so when Mother started giving you special treatment and demanding you be treated like somebody important within the league, i thought that was just her lingering affection for an ex.

Jason:

Jason: is that why you made me teach you how to ride a bike?

Damian: yeah i was trying to make up for lost time.

Damian: i don’t know how you didn’t pick up on it—i called you Father like, religiously.

Jason: …to be honest i just wasn’t fluent in Arabic yet. when i finally did figure out that’s what you were saying i just assumed you were making a dig at the fact that i slept with Talia that one time.

Damian: yeah that was- can i be honest with you? i set that up.

Jason:

Jason: what.

Damian: originally Mother wasn’t going to meet with you in person that night, she was going to send a messenger in place, but i snuck into her chambers and edited her schedule so she’d be in the area anyway and would go see you herself.

Jason:

Damian: then i ordered food for where you were staying online in the hopes that you'd chat and realise you still loved each other.

Jason: that’s where those oysters came from-!

Damian: yeah i didn’t- i didn’t actually realise how problematic you and her being together was until after i came to Gotham. i was just trying to have a parent-trap moment and get my mom and dad back together, you know? i didn’t know you were seventeen, i just thought the Lazarus Pit had made you look more youthful than before.

Jason:

Jason, dryly: because famously, as you can tell by looking at Ra’s, that’s what the Lazarus Pit does.

Damian: listen i was eight.

Damian: -and i didn’t force you guys to do anything—this is still on my Mother for going with it; and for bad communication. if she had at any point spoken to me clearly about my father then that misunderstanding wouldn’t have ever happened.

Jason: so… when did you figure out I wasn’t Bruce Wayne…?

Damian:

Damian: well… it was complicated?

Jason: which means?

Damian: it means at first Mother told me i was just going to Gotham with you, which made me think, like, ‘yay, i get to go home with Dad’ right? and then we got to Gotham and saw Batman and Robin out and you started getting mad at a ‘replacement’, and i thought you were mad because your Robin replaced you with a new Batman.

Jason, incredulous: oh my god.

Damian: -yeah, but then we had that whole confrontation with them during patrol where you told Batman i was his son and that Talia Al Ghul wanted you to put me in his care, and i was just standing behind you like… what fucking game are you playing here Father?

Jason: *snort* you didn’t- that didn’t fucking tip you off?

Damian: no! i was like 2 years deep into this belief at this point, nothing was gonna shake me. i came to the conclusion that you were sending me in as a spy or something, so i went along with it. we got back to Wayne Manor and Pennyworth greeted Batman by saying ‘welcome back, Master Bruce’ and i got really mad at Tim because i was like ‘oh so not only did he replace Batman but he did it with the first fat fuck he found with the same first name, huh.’

Jason: *wheeze*

Damian: so i didn’t really try to kill Tim because i wanted Robin; i was doing it for your, the original Batman’s, honour.

Jason: oh my god????

Damian: ...yeah. i didn't- ok, honestly? i didn't really clock that you weren't the original Batman until after you unmasked yourself in front of everyone for the first time.

Jason: -EXCUSE ME-?

Damian: because- BECAUSE, in the league everybody just called you by 'prince' or 'the Gotham boy', and then in Gotham nobody knew your identity so everybody just called you Red Hood. it wasn't until you revealed your identity to the family and everybody started crying about some 'Jason Todd' that was still alive that i came to the realisation that nobody had ever point blank told me your name was Bruce Wayne.

Jason, in awe: wait- wait oh my god i do remember you being really fucking quiet during that whole reveal..,

Damian: yeah i was- i was coming to terms with a lot of stuff in that moment.

Jason: WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!

Damian: what am i, stupid? looking back a year or so later, yeah it's a funny memory of how stupid i was as a kid. in the moment? you couldn't have fucking waterboarded that info out of me.

Jason:

Jason: you know. it does kinda- oh my god it makes so much sense now,

Damian: what does?

Jason: Tim told me the first time they let you in the Batcave he watched you walk up to my memorial case, read the plaque, and then loudly go, 'who the fuck is Jason Todd'. and i always thought that was real fuckin' weird considering i'm your emergency contact.

Damian: *wheezes*

Jason: were you disappointed that the fake-Bruce was your actual dad, then?

Damian: honestly i was more troubled at the realisation that i'd actively participated in the action of trying to get my mother and adoptive brother to bang.

Jason:

Jason:

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

I KNOW HOW MY FILTHY MUTANT ABILITIES UPSET YOU, SCHMIDT. DON’T WORRY–

–YOU WILL DIE PURE. NO MAGNETISM 

Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.

Danny had been dating Cass for a few months already and wanted to make this date very special. He invited to meet at the top of the Wayne Tower in costume, and there Cass saw what he planned; no wonder he wanted to watch the movie with her! Danny brought a magic carpet from the Ghost Zone and wanted to show Cass it, but he first had to make sure she knew about it. So as they were both on a magic carpet ride, They flew through Gotham, Metroplis, Metro City, Coast City, Star City, Blüdhaven, Central City,

It became very fast something the people talked about and saw out of the window, like a fairy tale; was the date of Black Bat with Phantom.

Phantom didn't even try to hide it, he made it known to world he is dating Black Bat and this is his date with her!

But this was newspaper titles already!

"So this is how heroes date!"

" + For few of the heroes in question. Kid Flash Wally:" Stupid Phantom! He makes the standards too high!" Robin is sarcastic:" So tell me, Where should I find a magic carpent to go on a date? Around the Whole World. "

Everyone knows it.

Bruce knows it. The rest of the batfam knows it. Hell, even Jason is aware but doesn't want to admit it.

When it comes to romance, he has a type. Each one either has tried to kill him or isn't completely human.

So, when it came out that Jason gained a new boyfriend, bets and theories among the family began ranging from how long it would last and if this one was a meta to if the boyfriend was Kryptonian, a clone, or someone from the LOA. Other than the seemingly lack of information and the whole adoption bait look, Jason's boyfriend was a regular civilian. A college student from somewhere in Illinois that's double majoring in astronomy and engineering at Gotham University.

Was he running from something based on how jumpy he is and how too clean his record was? Most likely but other than that he cared for Jason as much as they could tell from snooping.

After months of ignoring and avoiding the snooping and pleading from the batfam, Jason just wanted to end the theories and bets once and for all, so he invited Danny to family dinner at the manor. Everything was going fine.

Until Danny's eyes flashed a toxic green as a stray knife from Damian went through his shoulder and he simply moved over in his seat, the knife embedded into the chair.

It was almost a Lazarus green.

"WE ARE LIVE IN GOTHAM CITY; MR. FREEZE HAS JUST MADE AN ATTACK AND LOOK AT THE DAMAGE HE HAS CAUSED" the reporter yelled into the mic; they all did this for more money, even though it was a death wish.

the camera panned around to the frozen areas of where the attack occurred- wait was that someone ICESKAITING???

"THERE- THERE IS SOMEONE ICESKATING ON MR. FREEZE'S ICE-" the camera caught the civilian being blasted with ice, "OH- A PERSON WAS ICE SKATING-" AND THE PERSON CAME BACK OUT UNSCATHED ON THE OTHER SIDE.

or...

DPXDC

Something something, starting plot goes here. The JL become aware of two things at once.

One, there is a secret government organization detaining, experimenting on, and eradicating beings known as 'ecto entities'. More preferably referred to as realms beings, though also called ghosts.

Two, their proteges need more supervision. Especially after the explosive rescue the young group staged.

Who better to watch the rebellious group than the teen king they helped rescue from the GIW? Bonus that it will keep Phantom under the radar as he heals, and the JL overturn the laws making him illegal.

The snag is that the 'Young Just Us' team have never been fans of being monitored or managed, so a glorified babysitter is not welcome. Plus the fact that Phantom used their attack as a distraction to free himself means that they don't see/know him as a victim.

Their first training session goes poorly. So Phantom takes them all out to a field to beat some respect into them.

Phantom: I get that you don't like that I'm here and you have problems with authority. But I will not let you half ass your training.

Kon: Who's to say we weren't training away from you?

Phantom: I can SEE the shopping bags- you know what, fuck it, you won't play nice, time to play ghost.

Tim: what does that mean?

Phantom: Time to fight about it.

Kon: Sure!

Cassie: Oooh, sounds like fun!

*One Beat Down Later*

Kon in a crater: I think this is what regret feels like.

Bart in a puddle of limbs: There is no timeline where I'll live this down.

Cassie from her own crater: I mean you did take yourself out. Didn't know you could run fast enough to punch yourself.

Tim, cutting himself down from a tree: Note to self, ghosts emote with their fists.

Phantom: They sure do! And do you know the best way to get stronger as a Ghost?

Bart: Something heartwarming about being remembered and living on in your surviors?

Phantom, laughing himself to tears: Cute, but no. Ever hear the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?"

Kon: I don't like where this is going.

Phantom: Oh yeah, I spent the past year and a half getting my ass beat, like almost daily! Hahaha.

Cassie: You're laughing, that's bad right? It feels bad that he's laughing about near death experiences.

Phantom: I can't die, but you can. So I'm going to train you so that you don't have to learn the hard way.

They’re best friends but by both Earth and Eridian standards everyone is like “Oh wow, they’re… close-”

Like little to no cares about privacy around each other because, well, fuck you aren’t getting much of that on a spaceship for multiple years now are you?

Wherever one goes there’s a 50% chance the other will be there too.

Whenever Grace talks to another Eridian he uses some sort of portable instrument to communicate but with Rocky they just speak in two separate languages at each other. It’s like seeing someone speak to someone in only Chinese and the other person only responds back in English.

Would be funny if Eridians aren’t very touchy but Rocky is basically clingy as fuck when it comes to Grace. Always tugging on his pants like a toddler to get his attention and stuff.

Grace just using Rocky in either his ball, enclosure or his xenonite suit as a backrest while he’s grading or doing work or something, Rocky fully absorbed in his own thing. Sitting as close together as physically possible while having zero interaction with each other. Parallel play at it’s best.

These two come in a pair. Do not separate.

All of this and more, fully platonically, people wonder if they’re the world’s first weird inter solar system couple and if they’re in some weird polycule with Adrian but no, they’re just like that.

It’s just Rocky and the human he adopted as a permanent part of his family that he will spend every possible second of the rest of his short life with because he won’t be here forever and he’s not going to waste any of his time for the world.

It has been alittle over a year since Danny was chased out of Amity after a bad reveal with his parents. They tried to convince everyone that he died but far too many people saw him running away from their shots. They were avoided before but now they were dispised. Tucker moved away not long after that, his parents didn't think the town was safe with the Fentons. Jazz went off to college.

They keep in contact, still trying to look for Danny. Trying to avoid Vlad, the GIW, and the Fentons.

Now Sam is here, at a gala, with her parents trying to introduce her to older, richer families and their children. Like the Wayne's, with their trillions of dollars, and many single kids.

That's when she sees him, with the Wayne's, their newest adoptee Is Danny.

Thinking quick she says something she never thought she'd say. 'Hey mom, I'm gonna go flirt with one of the Wayne's.'

Her mom stared, wide eyed. Then handed her something and said 'The Wayne's are trillionares. Go be a rebellious teenager and have some fun.'

It was a condom. Her mother just handed her a condom. She didn't even ask which Wayne! From the 12 year old Damien to the 29 year old Richard! Just "be rebellious and have fun"!

Danny moves to Gotham and buys an apartment building.

It was more just a fun project for him to fix up the building, seeing as how after he took over VladCo, and cleaning up operations, Danny was making more money than ever, even after donating to various charities. So yeah, he was bored and just wanted to get his hands dirty and personally repair the appartments.

Once everything was fixed up, he opened the appartments for rent. He didn't really want to charge people, especially in such an area as Crime Alley, but not charging someone rent is way more sketchy than just asking them to pay whatever they could or wanted to. He ended up just setting the money aside to use on the appartments should it need any upgrades or repairs. He doesn't only take money either, while he denies "physical" payments and/or narcotics, he'll take lessons, like the man in 2B teaching him to sew, or the woman in 5A teaching him how to cook, or the two kids who give him very interesting shiny rocks as payment, there was even a few people who paid by cleaning the appartment building's shared places. One teenager paid rent one month by giving Danny a pair of sickly black and white kittens they found outside(they're named Casper, and Specter, and they're the Building's Managers in Pest Apprehension, and Danny loves them).

Because the appartments are so close to where the working girls/boys run, they make up most of his tenants, so Danny asks them to not bring clients back to the apartments, its dangerous to let their clients know where they live, especially because there are other tenants, including children, in the building so its a safety risk. They all agree, they don't really want their clients knowing where they live anyway.

Some do get stalkers though, and Danny is quick to get rid of them. Or when burglars manage to break in, Danny stops them before they can take anything, and if he managed to miss the burglar, he'll personally replace whatever was stolen until they could get the original stuff back. (Maybe he should adopt a gaurd dog, at least for the intimidation factor. Cane Corso's are medium sized*, hes sure he could get away with getting something like that. Something to think about later.)

A lot of his tenants say Danny is really kind, but thats not how Danny sees it, and its something he loudly denies. He's a bored rich person who was taking advantage of his wealth. Him providing them a safe place to live, and a little bit of comfort isn't kindness, its basic human decency. He's not some saint who is doing this of his own kind heart, he's a normal guy who was bored and just decided to do something helpful opposed to harmful, and he shouldn't be praised for that.