Big fan of sad guys

Sam and John have this heartfelt conversation about how John wanted to keep Sam safe -> Dean walks in and John enacts a plan to use him as bait -> Dean gets sexually assaulted by a vampire while being used as bait -> Dean calls John out for saying he's trying to keep them safe.

I think another aspect of Jacks character that is often forgotten is that he also isn’t entirely human, and that coupled with the general infantilization he gets from the fandom means nobody is really looking very deeply into his behavior or recognizing it as a performance—specifically one that’s rooted in his need to be seen as acceptable and “Good,” and contributes so much to the sensitivity and defensiveness he’s shown to have towards his perceived place in TFW and the Winchester family.

everyone thinks it’s cute and charming that he wanted to match ties with Cas and supposedly has a talking teddy bear toy in 15x11 (the both of which can be seen as part of traditional nuclear family roles just like Cas calling him ‘slugger,’) but when that same episode ends with jack ruefully admitting to cas that he’s going to kill himself as part of Billie’s plan and as a way to atone for the damage he caused, you really have to question the sincerity of his behavior—especially since it’s not even the first time he’s used cutesy charming behavior to essentially manage everyone’s mood and emotions to keep being perceived the way he wants to be perceived at the face value he’s created for himself (unabashedly lying to Sam and Dean about anything happening while he was out with a big smile and an “I promise,” in 14x16, and doing the same thing to Mary in the beginning of 14x17).

another thing is that if jack does feel like he can be himself and also be accepted or even praised for it, like he was in apocalypse world with Mary and the refugees that saw him as a hero, he gets immediately defensive whenever something about his [genuine] self or his capability is questioned; he gets upset at Mary for not thinking that he can beat Michael alone and blows up at Cas for thinking he’s too weak to do anything by himself as a human being, and in both of these instances he switches tones a lot between a very deadpan and blunt when he’s essentially unmasking, vs a soft one when he’s trying to be reassuring and acceptable.

it adds a lot to his identity crisis in the beginning of s14 and especially to his soulless arc, when he’s basically desperate to get back into the traditional Good Son role he’s gotten even though his own subconscious outright mocks him for it and calls him pathetic for even wanting to be that person again

*which jack also becomes increasingly defensive and blatantly aggressive about.

when the show decides to go FULL meta. and i do hate that they do this tbh. and god becomes ‘the evil writer.’ and ‘our’ winchesters his favorite characters. he mentions something strange. that ‘our’ castiel is the ONLY castiel that chose to go against god and not follow orders. because he is broken.

misha collins says that at the very least—-‘our’ castiel feels like he never fit in. uriel was the funny and popular angel of his troops, and he called humans monkeys. all angels, for a time, are servants to god that believe that human are lesser (which castiel also does), but castiel believes, even before dean, that they are works of art. castiel was a faithful soldier who rose through the ranks. but he was never supposed to be more than that.

he was a default brand-made angel. he defied his purpose. he was never god’s favorite. you could make the case he was the LEAST favorite. and that’s why he never becomes a main character.

out of context of the show—misha gets fired on a day where he’s literally getting sick with food poisoning. castiel ‘dies’ and has to be brought back because of the audience and ratings.

even beyond that, over the course of the entire show really, castiel is never a main character. he’s a special guest star misha collins.

people like to say its the ‘dean and cas’ show in later seasons. but castiel isnt in every episode, and compared to dean (though not sam) he gets little moments, and is mostly just Standing There until its his turn to react to dean lol.

he doesnt get to win fights. he doesnt ‘get the girl’ when hes a human. all his proper female love interests and friends of his own die except for like. sergei i guess. thats not really his friend even i just thought it was funny by the time the show ends theres like 6 angels left and so he has to call sergei to solve his problems lol. even when he’s leader of the angels—that doesn’t last long, and the angel plots often go nowhere to the point where u could surmise ‘god got bored.’

one could make the case that castiel wasnt supposed to come back on the show over and over and over again. and in gods metanarrative, he kept writing him out just to rewrite him back in because dean NEEDS him.

even though castiel is not god’s favorite. even if he is broken. even if he fits in nowhere except with dean’s ship of theseus patchwork family. he chose to be himself. he chose his love of humanity, and just one human. over his father and heaven and all his brothers and sisters who worshipped him. he chose his family. he chose his son. and then he chose to be happy. to let that happiness in. to be his broken, un-blessed self, without apology. to insert himself into the narrative and break it.

and i think thats pretty dope for a queer character to do. the little representation train that could. and yes he died but also he came back the next episode and is now arguably more alive and with more agency than sam OR dean.