i am a BANANA

more people need to know they’re real because look at this, this is some real walking with dinosaurs shit

they have powerful legs allowing them to run up to 20mph and leap to impressive heights with ease

they are extremely swift and fearless, quick enough to take down a sizable rattlesnake and other large prey animals like lizards and mice

they have several unique adaptations to thermoregulate, such as the dark patch of feathers on their back which acts as a solar panel to absorb heat, or its crest that either releases or absorbs heat by exposing its skin

they have these long, stiff tailfeathers that they use as a counterbalance when running, very reminiscent of the rod-like tail of a dromaeosaur

and they are capable of bursts of flight/gliding with incredibly beautiful plumage

This is April 19 on the Julian Calendar.

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.