perpetual daydreamer

This kind of language is often an attempt to shut down discussion before it can really start. I wonder if that’s because some fans see any debate about ships as an attack on their perception of the characters, rather than a way for everyone to engage with the story in their own way.

In some cases, it’s also a way to virtue signal or feel morally superior for liking the “good ship.”One of the clearest symptoms is assuming things about people’s character based solely on who they ship. For example, I recently watched a TikTok video about The Summer I Turned Pretty. The poster believed that women who prefer Conrad over Jeremiah are male-centered. She claimed that Conrad fans don’t care about Belly’s perspective or feelings and that the real reason they dislike Jeremiah is because they think Belly “belongs” to Conrad.

She even implied that this preference is rooted in purity culture, assigning moral beliefs to people based on a fictional ship. Not only did she decide why Conrad shippers feel the way they do, but she also assumed that every single one of them thinks exactly the same.

Fans with this kind of attitude are often dismissive when others explain why they like a certain ship. They might hear, “I like Zuko and Katara because I feel they are on equal footing and understand one another,” and respond, “No, you just think Zuko’s hot and Katara is a self-insert,” or even accuse Zutarra shippers of being pro-colonialism.

Even if a ship does include a problematic element, it doesn’t mean fans who enjoy it endorse the behavior in real life. People can enjoy engaging with tension, character flaws, or growth arcs without condoning harmful actions.

This hostility also shows up in other situations. Some people feel especially threatened by queer ships—probably because it makes them uncomfortable to think about characters they like through that lens. They’ll claim it “ruins the show,” even though other people shipping these characters doesn’t change canon. Others dismiss the ship by insisting people only like it because it’s a same-sex pairing, ignoring the actual reasons people might connect with the ship.

Instead of simply accepting that there’s more than one way to interpret a story, they try to cheapen other people’s perspectives and disqualify any opinions that differ from their own. The truth is, no two people perceive a story in the exact same way. Each reader or viewer brings their own experiences, values, and imagination to a story, so trying to shove people into a box or force everyone to conform to a single “truth” about a narrative is not only impossible—it undermines the way fandom works.

I think part of why some fans react so defensively is that their interpretation of a story feels deeply personal to them. People often tie ships or characters to their identity, so disagreement feels like criticism and they want to turn it around on the other person. On the other hand, some people probably just struggle to accept that multiple readings of a narrative can coexist. But what they don’t realize is that recognizing everyone experiences stories differently doesn’t mean you have to like or agree with every ship.

Approaching ships with curiosity rather than hostility allows fans to share insights, debate respectfully, and appreciate perspectives they might not have considered. It also means you can enjoy your favorite pairings without feeling the need to defend them as the only correct way to experience the story. Fandom works best when it’s a space for creativity and connection!

Some youtube videos on fandom culture if you’re interested:

But he still has a character arc of his own. He had to learn to forge his own path as a hero and not blindly walk down the one that was already paved for him. For as long as he could remember, Deku wanted to be exactly like All Might. This desire was so deep that he designed his costume to imitate the iconic smile and hair. It also took him months to realize that he didn’t have to fight with his fists and to finally develop shoot style. Like Gran Torino said, “You should already understand it. But your admiration for All Might and your sense of duty are like shackles.” In All Might’s time, Japan was in chaos and it didn’t seem to be getting any better. He realized that there needed to be a symbol—one that would give people peace and dissuade criminals from acting. It was what the Japan needed back then. But eventually, All Might’s presence became a sort of crutch. He was depended on for everything. When he fell the other heroes weren’t prepared for the return of organized crime, and the citizens weren’t willing to put their trust in the remaining pros. It’s a different world now. They can’t put all the responsibility on a lone symbol. It was effective, but not sustainable for the long term.

In season four, Lemillion asks Deku what kind of hero he wants to be. He starts off by describing All Might but eventually pauses and gives his own answer. “I want to be strong so I won’t worry people. I want to always win and save everybody. I want to become the greatest. Got it?” This was a huge step in his journey, but he still had a long way to go. He kept trying to fill All Might’s very specific role of being the one and only symbol of peace. During the vigilante arc, he wanted to keep his distance because All for One was capable of tracking him down. But it was also because he thought he needed to do it on his own, which Bakugo calls him out on. Once Deku finds his own purpose and agrees to share the responsibility, he becomes the hero he really wants to be—the hero his world needs.“This is the story of how I became the world’s greatest hero, but not just me. It’s the story of how we all became the greatest of heroes.”

Cordelia is popular, lively, and at times shallow. Her life is similar to the one Buffy had before she became the slayer, and it emphasizes the difficulties of Buffy’s role. Cordelia is often shown to be dealing with the issues of a typical teenager, while Buffy is facing life-or-death situations. In the episode Nightmares, the fears of everyone in Sunnydale come to life. Cordelia’s worry about the way her peers view her contrasts with Buffy’s fear of being buried alive and becoming a vampire. This gives the audience perspective on just how stressful Buffy’s situation is and allows them to empathize with her when she misses having a normal life.

Kendra, another vampire slayer, is extremely disciplined and reserved. She always fulfills her duties according to the rules. She’s the epitome of a traditional slayer. Buffy relies on instinct, creativity, and help from friends to get the job done. This contrast shows how different Buffy’s approach is compared to the average slayer. Besides that, when the two first meet, they view slaying in completely different ways. To Buffy, it’s a job that she’s forced to deal with. Kendra believes that being a slayer is a fundamental part of who she is. This demonstrates how far Buffy is from fully accepting her role.

Faith is a slayer who uses her power for gain and personal satisfaction. This highlights Buffy’s sense of duty and strong morals. Unlike Buffy, Faith doesn’t have a support system to fall back on, but the show doesn’t use this to excuse her behavior. In an episode titled The Wish, the characters are in an alternate reality where Buffy never came to Sunnydale and didn’t meet her friends. She’s closed off and cold, but still fights for the side of good. The audience sees that while Buffy would be unhappy and a less effective slayer without support, she would still be championing for others. She has an innate compassion that doesn’t come naturally to Faith. Faith has allowed herself to be corrupted by power, a path Buffy could fall into if she’s not careful.

Akito also lost her father at a young age, but unlike in Tohru’s situation, her mother permanently rejects her afterwards. This gave Akito a fear of abandonment and causes her to aggressively cling to the other zodiac members. As the head of the family, she believes that she’s owed a relationship with them. She maintains these bonds with extreme force, lashing out at the possibility of them caring for anyone else.

This dynamic is also a big part of Deku and Bakugo’s relationship in My Hero Academia. Bakugo was showered with compliments his whole life for his powerful quirk. All the praise he received also came with heavy expectations from himself and others. He grew to believe that power equals strength. Someone with a quirk like his doesn’t fail—doesn’t need saving. His narrow worldview makes quirkless Izuku Midoriya appear very weak. But the animosity mostly stems from the fact that Bakugo sees heroic traits that he lacks in Deku. “Our whole lives I’ve looked down on you. You were quirkless, obviously way behind me. But somehow it always felt like you were ahead of me too. I had to reject you, so I could feel superior.” And while Deku has the qualities of a hero, he didn’t have the power necessary to make his dreams a reality. He watched his tormentor, a seemingly unheroic person, get closer to their shared dream everyday. “I had nothing at first. You had so much going for you that I didn’t have. My idea of victory is so tied to the image of you in my head that in those moments I can’t help but imitate you.”