#tsitp

“What’ll you give me if I do?”

Belly froze. Her mind ran a million miles an hour analyzing what exactly he meant by that.

What did that mean?

His eyes stayed locked into hers as a small smirk sat on his lips. He slowly took another pull from the joint as she processed.

What was he playing at?

Conrad had often been sarcastic with Belly but this didn’t feel like sarcasm. It felt like an admission of sorts. A silent plea.

Something in his eyes was different right at that moment. They were completely and utterly alone, and he wasn’t looking at her like he had earlier at dinner. Then he gave her a protective and slightly judgy look when the subject of her as a debutante came up.

But right now? Right now, they are darker. It could have been the lighting of the patio around them or the weed, but he looked like a man burning on the inside. He looked at her as if she was the only person in the world. Like he was dying of thirst, and she was the last drop of water on the planet.

Belly felt her stomach flip. She felt like she would be sweating if she wasn’t already wet. Conrad’s intensity awoke something in her brain. Belly hadn’t really realized it was there until the words couldn’t be taken back.

“That would depend on what you want.” Belly batted her eyes as she spoke, her head tilting on the word want. She kicked her feet and glided backwards, away from him in the pool. They continued to stare at each other, barely blinking, fighting for dominance on who would break first. It was Conrad. After a few seconds of thinking, his smirk deepened before he put the joint out and set it down next to where he was sitting. He stood and grabbed at his hoodie, pulling it down off his shoulders before dropping it onto the lawn chair behind him. When he turned back around he locked onto Belly's face again, and tugged his shirt off too, not caring to do anything but drop it at his feet. He reached into his left pocket and removed his phone before gracefully diving into the pool.

It was at this moment when Belly felt her heart beating in her ears. Conrad's silhouette moved towards her under the water's surface slowly. She swallowed, suddenly very self conscious about her response to him, imagining what could possibly be happening next. Belly tried not to get too far ahead of herself, thinking that it could be a whole prank. Conrad was messing with her, and any second Jeremiah and Steven would jump out of the bushes, phone in hand and roars of laughter. She would ultimately go upstairs and cry herself to sleep.

When Conrad reemerged, he was a foot away from her. Belly was pulled back into the moment, into his presence and into his gaze. His hair stuck to his forehead, long and obscuring his vision. He raised one hand out of the water and shoved his hair back out of his face. Her throat closed in anticipation.

“Hey.” Conrad smiled. His voice soft, shy almost.

He sounded nervous?

But his eyes, his eyes were hungry. Burning.

They showed what his soul was feeling.

“Hi.” Belly breathed out, voice betraying the face of confidence she was trying hard to put on.

Conrad could feel her nerves, her anticipation. He could read her eyes. She wanted this as much as he did. The tension started to feel suffocating and Conrad made the official decision. He accepted the pull he had felt for the last few years with her. She always had a gravity that pulled him to her. At this moment, he wanted her. Honestly it was probably more like all moments, but right now is when it became all too clear to him. And he was feeling brave on account of his life blowing up soon anyways.

“Isabel.” Belly’s lips parted as her full name left his lips. Conrad never called her that. “What would you say if…” Conrad moved closer. Belly stayed frozen in place, hanging onto his every word just like she had for her entire life. “I said I want…you?”

Her mouth fell fully open for just a moment. Her brain processed in such a way she thought it might fizzle out completely.

Her voice was shaky as she spoke. “I would say…” She swallowed and took a breath, calming herself. “You should go after what you want.”

Conrad’s breath hitched. He licked his lips before reaching out for Belly, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer. Belly swore he felt a vibration take over her whole body when he touched her hand. The feeling consumed her to the core as she was floating closer towards Conrad.

Once Belly was within inches of Conrad’s body he wrapped an arm gently around her waist. Belly moved her hands up and apprehensively placed them on his shoulders, close to his neck. She could feel his pulse, his heart was thumping just as hard as hers was.

Conrad slowly inched his head closer, eyes flipping between hers trying to read her expression. Belly felt like this was a dream and she would wake up before their lips could touch, but they were getting close now. She could feel his breath against her lips, but she refused to look at them. She kept hers fixed on Conrad's, barely blinking out of the fear he would disappear from view when they opened again.. Her vision started to feel blurry, all her senses overstimulated by the proximity of their bodies.

“Belly… I-” Corad’s face was a mere inch away from hers and he froze. Eyes still searching hers. “Is - Is this okay?”

Belly’s eyebrows scrunched together. Is this okay? This is all she dreamed of for at least 4 years. Every boy she got to know left her missing Conrad. Every heart drawn on a fogged mirror was for Conrad. Every single wish on every shooting star was for Conrad.

Belly searched his eyes one more time before giving a slight nod of her head as she closed the gap between their lips. Conrad responded immediately, the grip on her waist tightened as he moved his mouth hungrily against hers. Belly ran her hands up his neck, grabbed at the hair at the back of his head and gripped tightly. Conrad groaned against Belly’s lips causing hers to part in return. He used the opportunity to slip his tongue in, exploring her mouth. Conrad lowered his hands and grabbed Belly’s thighs, lifting her up and urging her to wrap them around his waist. Belly obliged. Conrad walked them over to the edge of the pool, and pressed Belly against the wall. His body flush against hers, holding her in place. He pulled his head back and eyed her face. Belly watched him, he looked like he was thinking hard. She lowered her hands and rubbed her thumbs against his neck.

“What are you thinking?” Belly asked, concerned that they had just ruined their entire friendship.

Conrad shook his head, his hands running up and down the outside of her thighs. “I- I- It just feels like a dream..” He lost his train of thought and leaned back in. They kissed slower this time, mouths moving together, answering the others' cries. Belly grabbed onto Conrad’s hair again as he moved his mouth away, lips trailing down Belly’s jaw and finding their place against her neck. He nipped at the skin, earning a quiet gasp from Belly. Conrad allowed one of his hands to reach into her hair, holding her head as he kissed her pulse point.

“Conrad...” Belly whimpered in his ear and pulled at his hair. He lifted his head and stared up at her through his lashes.

“Yeah?” He whispered, his green eyes sparkled, the outdoor lights reflecting in a way that made Belly forget what she was going to say. She looked down to his mouth, slightly parted as he breathed hard. His lips pink from kissing her. Belly licked her lips and tugged his head up towards her again. She felt Conrad’s smile when their lips pressed together again. Belly bit at his lip and earned a groan in return. Not a second later she could hear the voices of Jeremiah and Steven approaching the back door. Without a second thought she pushed Conrad away and began to swim away from him when the door opened.

Conrad was frozen in place, but he changed his expression from shock to neutral.

“Dude what the fuck? We are leaving for the bonfire.” Jeremiah spoke when he came down the stairs and noticed Conrad standing in the shallow end of the pool. Belly had managed to swim towards one of the adjacent walls where she normally swam laps.

“Oh yeah I forgot man. I uh, challenged Belly to a race.” Conrad played it incredibly cool. Belly would have believed it.

“I bet you won, hey Con?” Steven chimed in next.

Conrad looked over at Belly and smirked. “Yeah, without question.” He turned back to the boys before speaking, but Belly knew he was talking to her too.

“Alright well, want us to wait for you to change?” Jeremiah motioned towards the house.

“No man. Go ahead, I’ll walk and meet you guys down there.” Conrad waved them off and they didn’t argue, leaving through the side path around the house that led to the driveway.

Conrad and Belly took a collective deep breath. After a second he turned and walked towards her, a shy smile on his face.

“So…” He reached for her, taking her hips into his hands. “Where were we?” Conrad inched his face close again. Belly put her hands on either side of his head, fingers grazing against his jaw. She couldn’t believe how incredible he looked right now. Belly leaned her head back, and stared into his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful Conrad. You look so romantic with wet hair.” Belly whispered, embarrassment spreading across her cheeks, even considering they were just full on making out. Conrad’s eyes softened and a corner of her mouth raised in a half smile. He ran his fingers along her neck, studying the skin and how it glistened with splashes of water. He slid his hand back towards her hair, thumb rubbing back and forth against her cheek.

“Romantic, huh?” He raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Have you seen yourself Isabel? You took my breath away earlier, when I first saw you. It made me feel so stupid.” Conrad shook his head.

Belly looked back at him, confusion spreading. “Why?”

Conrad chuckled. “Because I felt like I had woken up, and was seeing you for the first time. But then my memories of you flashed in my head in an instant and it suddenly made sense. It’s you Belly.”

“Me what?” Belly’s chest was rising and falling rapidly. Kissing him was one thing but is this some kind of love confession? She hoped and prayed this wasn’t some incredibly vivid dream, she’s had them before.

“I think you’re it for me, Belly.” Conrad looked so vulnerable, more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him before. Not even when he broke his arm did he allow someone this close.

At this point, she figured there was no reason to turn away, they had already kissed, a lot. The line had already been crossed and the dominos would now fall as they will. They can’t take back what had just happened, not that she even wanted to. This is everything she’s ever wanted, and here he is now, arms wrapped around her and looking at her as if she held the moon.

“Conrad, I’ve been crushing on you for years.” Belly laughed as she spoke, but she never looked away from his face. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” She pulled his face back in and kissed him. She wanted him to feel everything she was too shy to say right now. About how every year, she’d blow out her birthday candles and upon opening her eyes, she’d search for him. Scanning the room until she caught his face and manifesting her wish for Conrad Fisher to love her to come true. He had kissed her like he loved her and that’s all Belly needed.

Conrad never made it to the bonfire.

The boys came home a few hours later. As soon as Belly heard the door, she jumped up from Conrad’s bed where they had been laying together, talking and kissing and bolted out of his door before he could fully process the noise. She had successfully made it into her room and was closing the door when Jeremiah climbed the stairs and stopped at Conrad’s room.

Belly left her door a crack open and leaned in to hear what Jeremiah was going to say.

“Dude why didn’t you come out?” He sounded annoyed.

“Sorry man, I got caught up watching a movie with Belly.” Conrad spoke nonchalantly.

“Well you missed Nicole. She was looking around for you, you can probably still get it with her.” Jere laughed.

“Yeah, uh I don’t know man. I kind of have my eye on someone.”

“Who?” Jeremiah sounded invested now.

“I’m not telling you.” Conrad said, his voice high pitched. He sounded awkward.

Jeremiah gave him a small scoff. “Okay.. whatever you say. Goodnight dude.”

Belly had turned her door handle to engage the latch and quietly closed the door completely before Jeremiah turned and came closer to his room. As he approached Belly was happy she left the lights in her room off, he would have totally seen her if they were on but she had gone unnoticed to the conversation.

Belly couldn’t sleep that night. She tossed and turned, her mind replaying what happened in the pool over and over again. She was nervous. After they changed from the pool and moved into Conrad’s room, they didn’t really say anything specific about what happens now. They hadn’t discussed if they were dating or if this was all going to just disappear into the summers they’ve always had before. It was almost sunrise when Belly gave up, she wanted to go to the beach. She threw on the first clothes she found, a hoodie (that she thinks is actually Conrad’s) and shorts (that definitely belonged to Taylor.) She sprinted out of the house and down the wooded path that led to the shore. When she cleared a small hill she first saw the water crashing against the shore, second she saw him. Conrad. Sitting on the beach in a red hoodie, his hair getting blown around by the wind.

Belly took a deep breath and made her approach. Conrad heard her coming, but he didn’t say anything until she was close. “Good morning Isabel.”

Belly sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Are you gonna call me that all the time now?” She joked.

Conrad smiled before looking at her. “Maybe. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah of course. It’s just strange, even back in Philly everyone calls me Belly.”

“How did you sleep?” Conrad changed the subject.

Belly looked back at the ocean, mirroring Conrad. “I didn’t.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Then there was silence for a beat. It wasn’t awkward necessarily, but it felt heavy. Like two people who knew they had a lot to talk about, but were avoiding taking the first step. Conrad broke first.

“About last night… I just wanna say…” Belly felt her throat closing up, preparing for the heartbreak that would surely follow. “Belly, I haven’t stopped thinking about it. “ Belly turned her head and looked at him. He had already been watching her face. “I care about you so much. I don’t know if this is what love feels like, but it feels like not being with you would be so empty, so heavy.”

Belly felt the tears well in her eyes as he spoke. She couldn’t believe how different her life was now compared to 12 hours ago. When she made her wish of a hot makeout with Conrad while talking to Taylor, she would have never imagined it would have happened this early on.

“Conrad, I want to be with you.” She nodded as she spoke.

Conrad leaned down and pressed his forehead into hers, his eyes closed. They stayed like that for a moment, Belly examined his face. When he opened his eyes again, a cheeky smile came with it.

“Isabel Conklin, will you be my girlfriend?” Belly’s heart exploded with giddy. She nodded and lunged towards him. The force knocked Conrad back, falling backwards and taking Belly with him. They laughed after hitting the ground.

“So how are we gonna tell everyone?” Belly asked.

Conrad tucked her hair behind her ear and rubbed her cheek. “Let’s just, I don't know, make out at breakfast?”

Belly hit Conrad on the chest and laughed. “We are definitely not doing that.”

“Well, we’ll figure it out. Come here.” Conrad moved his hand under her chin and pulled her lips to his.

You can’t help but smile. 

You never saw your mom more carefree than when she was at Cousins with her best friend. It was like when June rolled around a weight got lifted off her shoulders. All of your shoulders, at that.

“Now I know I'm not much of a dancer, but we really shouldn’t let them outdo us,” Lando remarks from next to you, standing up and holding out a hand to pull you up with him.

You raise an eyebrow but take his hand anyway. By the time you’re on your feet again, your moms have hit the chorus of the song and the energy in the room explodes.

You are the dancing queen, Young and sweet, Only 17!

Lando starts to sing along very loudly and quite terribly, taking your other hand and starting to dance with you. Neither of you know what you’re doing. If you’re being honest it’s less of a dance and more so two people singing in each other's faces, jumping up and down like you don’t care what the rest of the world thinks.

“YOU CAN DAAANCE!” Lando practically screams, his voice cracking at the end like he just hit a very late puberty. You can’t stop laughing, and it makes it impossible to try and match the lyrics. To make matters worse, Lando lets go of one of your hands to twirl you around and you nearly fall back onto the sofa from the momentum. You catch yourself in his arms, and now the both of you are laughing so hard that you nearly end up falling back anyway.

From on top of the couch, Oscar glances over at the two of you being caught up in a world of your own as Max continues his performance. It had always been like that between you and Lando. If he had to leave to do something, you went too. When you were sad about losing your stuffed bear Heartsie as a kid, Lando spent days looking for it so that you wouldn't be sad anymore. Now, even though you were no longer kids, that same principle held true: you two brought put a version of each other that only existed when you were together. As Lando pulls you into an exaggerated dip that once again almost makes you lose your balance, Oscar grins at the unguarded laugh you let out. 

He’d never noticed how much he loved it when you laughed like that before.