His two fears: silent treatment from izuku and ochako being roundless

stupid doodles and more pairs

This kind of language is often an attempt to shut down discussion before it can really start. I wonder if that’s because some fans see any debate about ships as an attack on their perception of the characters, rather than a way for everyone to engage with the story in their own way.

In some cases, it’s also a way to virtue signal or feel morally superior for liking the “good ship.”One of the clearest symptoms is assuming things about people’s character based solely on who they ship. For example, I recently watched a TikTok video about The Summer I Turned Pretty. The poster believed that women who prefer Conrad over Jeremiah are male-centered. She claimed that Conrad fans don’t care about Belly’s perspective or feelings and that the real reason they dislike Jeremiah is because they think Belly “belongs” to Conrad.

She even implied that this preference is rooted in purity culture, assigning moral beliefs to people based on a fictional ship. Not only did she decide why Conrad shippers feel the way they do, but she also assumed that every single one of them thinks exactly the same.

Fans with this kind of attitude are often dismissive when others explain why they like a certain ship. They might hear, “I like Zuko and Katara because I feel they are on equal footing and understand one another,” and respond, “No, you just think Zuko’s hot and Katara is a self-insert,” or even accuse Zutarra shippers of being pro-colonialism.

Even if a ship does include a problematic element, it doesn’t mean fans who enjoy it endorse the behavior in real life. People can enjoy engaging with tension, character flaws, or growth arcs without condoning harmful actions.

This hostility also shows up in other situations. Some people feel especially threatened by queer ships—probably because it makes them uncomfortable to think about characters they like through that lens. They’ll claim it “ruins the show,” even though other people shipping these characters doesn’t change canon. Others dismiss the ship by insisting people only like it because it’s a same-sex pairing, ignoring the actual reasons people might connect with the ship.

Instead of simply accepting that there’s more than one way to interpret a story, they try to cheapen other people’s perspectives and disqualify any opinions that differ from their own. The truth is, no two people perceive a story in the exact same way. Each reader or viewer brings their own experiences, values, and imagination to a story, so trying to shove people into a box or force everyone to conform to a single “truth” about a narrative is not only impossible—it undermines the way fandom works.

I think part of why some fans react so defensively is that their interpretation of a story feels deeply personal to them. People often tie ships or characters to their identity, so disagreement feels like criticism and they want to turn it around on the other person. On the other hand, some people probably just struggle to accept that multiple readings of a narrative can coexist. But what they don’t realize is that recognizing everyone experiences stories differently doesn’t mean you have to like or agree with every ship.

Approaching ships with curiosity rather than hostility allows fans to share insights, debate respectfully, and appreciate perspectives they might not have considered. It also means you can enjoy your favorite pairings without feeling the need to defend them as the only correct way to experience the story. Fandom works best when it’s a space for creativity and connection!

Some youtube videos on fandom culture if you’re interested: