professional disappointment

chuckling indulgently.. oh go on... i suppose a LITTLE bit of monica in my life wouldn't hurt

movies will be like "THIS is the most bullied outcast unpopular girl in school... the Thin White Heterosexual Brunette"

i wanna see a hannibal-level psychosexual obsession between two normal people. like some freak who works at a deli counter and the city bus driver who buys sandwiches with anchovies on purpose

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit. im shooting everything. im laying down cover fire. im shooting the walls. im shooting my teammates. im shooting myself. my accuracy is 100% yall just dont know what im aiming at

Grandmama ATE this

Nothing compares

I am OBSESSED with this

Sometimes I can’t wait to be old and fabulous

Full offense but some of you would run upstairs when pursued by a murderer