“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials. and the cost is more than i can bear

remembering in my biology class last year when the teacher called someone a numbskull then said “sorry, I should be calling you guys ‘gumball’ ‘cause you’re all chewed up” then a guy said “I’m more like the bones in a grave, like it’s just over for me” & none of it made any sense

the reason usa birth rates going down is because we have a whole generation of women whose sexual awakening was Sans undertale and none of the men want to wear jorts and drink ketchup and go Er er er

my writing gland is purple and swollen

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

Are you free from your curse yet i miss you