"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!
DIG
DIG
DIG
DIG
OOPS TOO DEEP
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"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!
DIG
DIG
DIG
DIG
OOPS TOO DEEP

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EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY
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My Christian’s Dior
Potential First Names for Count Dracula
If you believe he is the historical figure Vlad Țepeș:
Vlad
If you believe he's meant to be a relative/descendant of Vlad Țepeș:
Mircea
Radu
Vlad
Mihnea
Pătrașcu
Petru
Alexandru
Vintilă
Mihai
Nicolae
Trașcă
If you believe he's just a fictional Romanian guy:
Masculine Romanian names
If you believe he's just a fictional Hungarian guy:
Masculine Hungarian names
Names of Some Actors Who Have Played Dracula*:
Paul
Max
Bela
Carlos
Christopher
John
Jack
Udo
Louis
Duncan
Miles
Frank
Gary
Leslie
Gerard
Stephen
Richard
Dominic
Rutger
Keith-Lee
Jonathan
Luke
Claes
Javier
Nicolas
Other potential names:
Henry (Henry Irving, Stoker's boss and one of Dracula's inspirations)
Francis (Duke Francis of Teck, an acquaintance of Stoker and a descendant of Vlad Țepeș)
Sam (The Munsters)
Vladimir (Various media)
Vladislaus (Various media)
Alucard (Various media)
Alfred (Count Chocula)
*An incomplete list because so, so many people have played Dracula.

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it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible
'minion' -too closely associated with those yellow things
'goon' -linguistic drift gave her a new meaning. i hope her new life is good for her. i miss her.
'henchman' -too gendered. can be shortened to 'hench' in a pinch, but lacks punch.
'servant' -too domestic to apply to all those who serve evil.
'underling, subordinate' -this one only works if they get off on being beneath you and/or you don't properly pay your workers.
'associate' -this one's good for grizzled mercenaries or lone agents but doesn't work good for broad swathes of an organization.
'slave' -same as underling but more intense. really fun for some of the group. unsavory for others in a way that limits the scope of the thing.
'thrall' -only really applies if you're brainwashing them and that's not something i've learned how to do en masse yet
'flunky, toady, stooge, lackey' -these are just insulting, and that isn't conducive to a healthy work environment. imagine going to work and your job title is 'stooge'.
'acolyte' -works for those that worship you, but again. lacks the scope.
'supporter, follower' -unspecific and vague
'assistant, helper, aide' -not sinister at all. just means you're doing things for me. swagless in this manner. could be good if used to describe someone who's so clearly more that as a way to emphasize their obedience via understatement, but that's only useful for a few members of the organization. and even then, 'associate' works better.
'cohort' -untested in the field. suggests an equal footing in the affair, ideal for post-structuralist evil organizations with a bottom-up power structure that's held in the hands of the evil workers themselves. perhaps we'll explore it together?
may I suggest: 'grunt' – time-tested by crime bosses with a variety of goals and organizational mandates. implies a subservient position with none of the innate baggage of lackey et al.
GRUNT IS PRETTY GOOD
realized i have started texting like mr darcy

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Side quests to feel alive: arguing with strangers in Japanese on Twitter
Most people on this website are literally this is image
HOW TO HUG LONG DISTANCE
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10000 KILOMETER HUG TECHNIQUES
since its june i wanted to admit that about 3 years ago i made what is probably my biggest contribution to the internet

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Revisiting my baihe blorbos that i completely forgot about and im like 😳 and then what happened (listening to my own voice note)
I hope everybody has a good day tmr