Insanity:

Cause like

I dont know about anyone else

But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering

"I feel like I'm the only one who does this chore. Can we start taking turns?"

"I'd like you to ask me how I'm doing more often."

"It bothers me when this area stays messy so long. Can you do X when Y happens?"

"I feel like the onus is on me to initiate X, and it's wearing me down. Could you try making the first move more? Like 3-4 times a week?"

"I'm feeling upset right now and I'd like to spend some time with you."

"When X happens, I feel like you're taking my work for granted."

"I'm feeling neglected. Could you do X?"

"I'm burnt out and need help."

"I feel like I'm the only one putting effort into X."

"Do you notice this?"

"Are you bothered by this?"

"I am bothered when this happens."

"X habit of yours bothers me."

Ok so there are famously several real issues that work in our favour as well informed, modern-day, community-supporting transfems:

First, research on feminizing hormone therapy is generally speaking Shit. Aside from mental health indicators which have been extensively mapped, far beyond what's reasonable to continue investing effort in, very little work has been done on the physical side.

The studies that do exist generally share a few noted flaws:

Old school dosage regimens and medications

Very short study durations, often less than two years

Poor standardization and small groups

You see the problems here. A puberty should generally have enough hormones and time to, you know, work. It's a bit ridiculous to draw conclusions about the likely results a trans woman can expect based on the two-year timelines of some poor girls who were kept at levels where, if a cis girl had them, it would qualify as an endocrine disorder.

Now, as for guarding against this. Here's the thing: You can double check your dosages. You can demand that the results of your blood tests are shared with you, and compare them with, for example, Wikipedia's Reference Ranges For Blood Tests, under "Sex hormones".

Now, when underdosed, you can refer to the data and say you're not in the right range. By standards of care, you should be. If your doctor won't cooperate, make it a problem for them. You are a woman, demand to see the manager. Get a different doctor. Pursue alternative means.