Vurry Vurry Refreshing Viernes

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

the world is so big and beautiful

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

grossed is such a weird way to describe how much a movie makes. how much did this movie yucky

When there's a very obvious bloodstain in the hardwood kitchen floor, but the house is 30k under expected price

it's fine

I’d like to point out that the colour red has more positive than negative meanings.

it's extremely funny reading historical accounts of Spontaneous Human Combustion because it follows the normal historical trend of other 1800s paranormal phenomena where it stopped happening as much right around the time cameras were invented and stopped happening entirely when everyone started carrying mini cameras in their pockets, but unlike most others of its ilk, it was effectively replaced by this mysterious phenomena where alocoholics would spill liqour on themselves and then fall asleep smoking a cigarette and turn into a fireball. nobody knows if these two things are related

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen

noncon friendship

Coworkers

Your friend’s boyfriend