Brother, can you spare a post..?

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

you should be able to say “fuck if i know” to customers

notice how linkedin isn’t on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

they should invent a feeling that doesn’t feel like getting your chest caved in with hammers

don't know a thing about 3d printing!! but one day i'll make a whale skeleton that's small enough to hang from my ceiling like they have at museums and it's going to be sick as hell

#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous

Yeah the sex was good but did it have themes and motifs

“In the words of Mark Twain’s wife, Shania Twain, ‘that don’t impress me much’”

The difference between 1/2 cup of rice and 1 cup of rice is like 18 cups of rice