Laughter is the Only Way Into My Heart

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

Pet owners, what kind of name does your pet have???

Sometimes I've very happy that I'm aro and not interested in dating at all because what do you mean it's common for people on dating apps to write their messages with AI?? How is this such a consistent issue that everyone I know who uses apps has had to unmatch or stop dating people who refused to write their own messages?? What???

“I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive.”

a convo in the replies of a post where one of them is hidden because i blocked them and the other one makes a comment that i cant possibly understand due to how out of context it is is funny to me every single time

It's been a while since I said "this person wins the internet", but today it is merited.

I like that the library can send me automated text message reminders that my stuff is due, but I wish they also had an option to personalise the messages. I would like to make them more personal. Specifically passive-aggressive, with progressively less on the "passive" as the date approaches. Like three days before they're due it's like "hey I just wanted to remind you that you still have my stuff, in case you've forgotten that you were supposed to return them. No pressure though! You have three days :)"