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to be honest im really sick of the fact that fat people are supposed to suck it up when other peoples worst fear is looking like them

why does every single one of your faves has to have a monster cock. some of them are packing peanuts and that's okay, just goes to show you a lot of you equate big penises with a better sexual performance. alas, we move on

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

Always have to remember in my writing that Tim is American and they have a different attitude to alcohol there. Wdym you can’t go to a pub and have a pint til you’re TWENTY ONE??? Not bein funny but if I had to take a bulletproof plate in me backpack t school an my president was a real life nonce AND I was Robin/Red Robin, I’d be on the whiskey a hell of a lot earlier than that. Then again, I don’t know how American teens are. Here, you’re out drinking with your friends from about 14-16 and you can drink at home in most families, so idk. Just rambles and wondering.

i dont want a childproofed internet i am almost 30 fucking years old. give your kid an internet safety talk and stop making it the problem of every adult on the planet every time some cryptkeeper legislator gets the brilliant idea (via conservative lobbying) to push through yet another bill gutting our access to free expression + increasing the powers of the surveillance state + lining the pockets of Big Data in the name of Protecting The Kids they wont even feed. this shit is exhausting i can’t believe we’re going to be fighting about it for the rest of my life

it is hilarious to me that cishet men have yet to notice the ‘best friend cockblocking her friend you’re chatting up in a public place’ thing is planned, consensual on the part of the girl you’re uncomfortably hitting on and not a result of the bestie being jealous her friend is getting more male attention. they’re completely oblivious to the hostage eyes and silent nod to someone in the background because they’re too busy telling that poor girl about what a bitch their ex was.

I am shocked at how many people don't have an actively hostile relationship with advertising

“Trick or Yeet!” I shout to the children when I open the door. “Yeet?” one says confusidly. I shrug. “Yeet it is.” I throw the child.

Not Halloween but, okay. 

okay you stick of unsalted butter i made this on halloween but everyone just likes to reblog it for some reason

Reblog today only to avoid OP cursing you out for a stick of unsalted butter

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

I HAVE to reblog this eleven million note post. That’s the most notes I’ve ever seen on tumblr. Also my name is Jade, not Amanda.

Tumblr Code.

good god this just crossed my dash in the year of our lord 2023

I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES??? IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024??

Let’s take it to 4 million, folks!

almost there!

TO 4 MILLION!!!!!!!!!

THE ORIGINAL SHOELACES POST?? ON MY DASH IN 2024??

I CANNOT BELIVE THIS THE SHOELACES POST IN 2025