Love-Life

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

distant cousin Ken that nobody's heard from in fifteen years.

he emerges out of the woodwork one day smelling like plastic and strawberries and he finds out about Grace and the poor boy is starstruck, he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and goes all starry-eyed like "His new job is SPACE?!!" and he cannot for the life of him figure out why everybody's so sad, who would be sad with a cool job like space??

Tom, in prison, sees the Hail Mary launch (every tv in the world is only showing it) and sees who’s on board. Sees his ex he never got over. And starts begging the guards to let him have his phone call. He calls Colt. Wtf is Ryland doing going to space on a suicide mission???? Colt, reluctant, tells him Ryland didn’t want to go. Ryder is desperate for a way to make amends with this family and begs Colt for a way to repay SOMEONE for how good Ryland was to him. Colt only asks for an apology for being an uncalled for dick to him and a sincere promise to get better. Ryder readily gives this. Prison has changed him he’s had a lot of time to reflect on his action.

Anyway, about a week later a stranger with a familiar face breaks him out and he’s got a new lawyer, who suspiciously also has a similar face and doesn’t act like a lawyer at all. They get him into therapy and it turns out drugs and alcohol mixing have had an extremely not good mix with his already undiagnosed issues (haven’t fully watched fall guy get so idk what I’d give him but people tend to go with OCD/Bipolar/something else I can’t remember off the top of my head but reads like historic personality disorder) and so he gets proper medication for his issues and a lot of therapy and a massive support system in the extended fam. He turns out to be really good with Clair and Holly surprisingly. And it spurs him into teaching, also motivated by knowing just how much his Ry loved teaching.

Also Tom is terrified of Rylands entire family (including Colt but he’ll never tell him that) and then gets absolutely flabbergasted by Ken when he finally meets this mysterious estranged cousin they don’t talk about much. They hit it off, much to the chagrin of everyone else, they are insufferably corny and both very theatre kids and they let everyone know.

Anyway getting off track

Tom also has a message for Ryland. It’s short and sweet and he’s so different to how Ryland remembers him. He’s grown his natural hair out and it’s shoulder length and curly and a really nice dark brown. He looks worn and tired but he also looks alive in the way Rylands only ever seen when he’s in front of the camera and he’s. He’s shining and Ryland thinks he’s beautiful like this and his voice is softer and has a quality about it that Ryland himself has from teaching and he wonders what Tom teaches (theatre would’ve been his guess but he actually teaches English (both literature and language. Idk if that’s a distinction that happens in America but it does here in the uk so imma go with it) he loves seeing the stories the children come up with and how out of the box children approach things they don’t completely understand) and Ryland regrets leaving even more.

Toms message is just him giving Ryland a small life update. Out of prison and in therapy. Medicated. Living a full and good life among Rylands many relatives. His adventures with Ken (ryland loves these idiots and is glad Tom doesn’t feel too outcast by his, frankly, terrifying family) and all about how he’s glad that he called Colt instead of, like, Gail or someone and he’s so incredibly grateful for the second change Colt gave him, he’s very very aware of just how differently that conversation could’ve gone. And he ends the message with just a simple ‘I love you’ but there’s so much more behind it and so much more he’d never be able to tell Ryland and he’s ugly crying by the end and he just wishes that none of this ever happened.

Tom gets a very lengthy message when the Beatles return and he’s both dreading watching it and out of his mind with excitement and he, hesitantly, asks Colt to watch it with him because he doesn’t think he’d be able to watch it alone and then bursts into tears seeing Ryland. He hasn’t aged much, if at all in these videos even though Tom knows it would’ve been about 13ish years since he got sent to space before they reached him and Ry is crying and he’s sorry he never got to remember the relationship they had and he’s sorry his putting them ALL through grieving him when he’s still alive. And. He’s just crying and wishing them the best in the world’s impending cold era and how he wishes he could be with them.

Anyway. Tom demands that Eva send some probes to Erid with stuff for Ry and just photos and stuff from his family and loved ones at least. And Ryland cries at seeing his cousins and niece grow into capable young women makes him so proud and so regretful that he didn’t have enough time with Holly or any time with Clair and he sees Tom with court and Colt and Ken and he’s smiling and happy and looking like the world has finally stopped kicking him while he’s down and uncle Holland looks so old now and he’s glad that alcohol poisoning doesn’t seem to affect him and he’s glad he’s living to old age and he sees Lars and Casey as till living and they seem happy and he sees Jacob also not looking like the world wants him dead anymore and he’s glad because Jacob wasn’t having a good time when he left and he sees Sebastian looking more at ease too and some Frito’s aren’t from Clairs Polaroid, some are from social media and he’s glad that Seb finally got to open his beloved jazz club and. He’s crying again and Rocky is asking if they’re happy tears and Ryland just nods and keeps crying.

Ryland and Tom get the closure they both needed and they actually wind up becoming friends again thanks to the communication system, it's less awkward than either of them expected it to be and they're both happier for it. Ry feels...bittersweet about being able to keep in contact with all of them, his batshit crazy family included, because the Eridians are absolutely extending his lifespan through some kind of science magic human kibble (ha) and he's getting the pleasurepain of watching them all age;

Colt and Jody have a baby, and he gets to see his twin going grey while their kid grows up through photos and video calls (how advanced is this communication system? who knows, let's pretend it's near-instant back and forth) and Ryland breaks down because the kid wants to be an astronaut like 'uncle Ry' and he absolutely will not tell the kid how much he didn't wanna be an astronaut. what is he, a dream crusher? psh.

Tom and weird cousin Ken are actually surprisingly cute together and he's glad Tom has someone that makes him happy now that he's doing better! Ken gets so excited to talk about his "job" and tries really hard to compare it to Beach--Ryland quietly wonders if maybe Ken got hit on the head a few times but he's happy his cousin and his ex are happy, so he doesn't linger on it too much when they do get to talk.

aaand since i have permanent Bloodymary brain worms i have to include Simon in this-

All in all Ryland is happy about how things are going, but on a day where he's scheduled to call or email Earth he just...doesn't. It takes a few days for an update and Ryland is panicking when he does send out a message, but when he does get the video message sent the entire family is absolutely shocked to see what looks like fucking Markiplier with one arm lingering in the doorway behind him. covered in bandages from neck to waist pretty much, looking wary and suspicious, and the brothers back on Earth are immediately on Big Brother Mode because who is this big angry lump behind you??? where did he come from?? and Ryland has to explain that this dude popped up in a blood-filled submarine in his little chunk of Eridian-made ocean and wowee isn't it cool that he's alive? completely brushing over the teeth on his face and the fact that he's more scar tissue than person ofc.

i think Simon would get along with most of the family honestly, he'd be a little wary of a few of them (Ken in particular, Simon can tell that he's not quite human even through a video and it freaks him out on a primal level. Ken is blissfully unaware.) but over time they all just...become a big interstellar family.

But

But

But. Imagine. Somehow. Grace manages to get to Earth before they all die if old age and Grace finally gets to meet all his nieces and nephews and the rest of his extended family. I hadn’t even considered pairing Tom with Ken (starbeach? Stardoll? Who knows. New crack ship unlocked and I’ll cry about it when I’m not on a fucking train) but it oddly works. Haven’t watched nice guys yet but I gather from things that, yeah, Jackson is rather similar to probably either court or Casey (driver)

And then the eridians discover new dimensions through Simon as the quiet rapture would be impossible in phm and then they somehow meet Officer K (Blade Runner 2049 (which I also agent watched yet)) and this poor man is just. So confused and like. It’s a cyberpunk future from what I can tell and that poor man is so sad and pathetic and has no idea who these people are and- I might have to stop with spreading the rgcu.

But also throw in the markiplier egos if you wish like. Simon being able to tell Ken isn’t completely human because he reminds him of the vague impression of a weird pink man with a moustache who definitely wasn’t real but might have been and one day Simon asks if Ken knows anyone like that? And Ken goes silent, which, weird, he never shuts up. And drops the bomb that discodoll was canon but somehow, after a massive fight, Wilford willed it out of existence. But. Ken remembers. Because it happened in Barbie land. And then he comes clean that it’s pure coincidence that he looks like them because he’s not a distant cousin. He’s a living doll. And he too will never age. And they never noticed that he doesn’t look as old as the rest of them. And. And they are so confused and the realisation that other worlds exist kind of breaks all of their brains (eridians and Grace included but not Simon. He already knew) and then Tom gets really upset because by that point they’d been together for probably a number of decades and. I just seem to really like making Tom cry apparently.

Ken does feel a little bad for not telling everybody the truth right away but once everybody's over the shock maybe he can take 'em all on a vacation to Barbieland, Tom gets jealous of Barbie at first 'cause poor Ken still gets puppy eyes around her sometimes but then realizes she wants nothing to do with Ken in that way and he's like "girl you FUMBLED him look at this perfect specimen, your loss" and he gets all huffy and a little of his old personality starts creeping out but it doesn't get too bad. Tom's just a jealous kinda guy and that is HIS living doll tyvm.

which kinda circles me around to Lars bc let's say he goes on the family trip and he sees a Barbie with dark hair like Bianca, he goes a little pink around the ears and maybe he accidentally calls her Bianca instead of Barbie and some small part of him is gets a little closure from that. Barbie-Bianca thinks Lars is very sweet but she doesn't understand why he gets all misty-eyed looking at her alskdfj Casey is utterly unbothered and is way more interested in how the barbie cars drive without engines in them, no jealousy here, as long as his teddy bear is happy he's happy.

the Goose fam that didn't go on the trip is back home and meeting some of the Egos, K is now living in the same universe as the rest of the Goslings and he and Googleplier get along like a house on fire (after GP gets over the worst of his 'destroy all humans' mentality ofc) to everyone's surprise. Yancy and Court were cellmates at one time so they're chill and maybe even...cuddly...do i wanna ship Court and Yancy? maybe.

But yeah. This is a massive au and 15 wips???? Are you ok?? I thought my 5ish was a lot lord help you

This is such a long thread and I will probably start something for it, whether my brain tells me it’s a good idea or not. Help us all wips are a special kind of hell

I’m also not all that familiar with marks egos, I was a jack kid personally but I’ve been slowly been working through marks work.

But also that thing with Barbie is hilarious. Tom somewhat reverting back to his old personality because he’s a jealous ass is funny as fuck. Colt definitely would’ve had to go to Barbieland to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. But also it’d be really funny to have the gosfam learn about the attempted patriarchy that Ken himself led and be mortified, Tom more at the outfit than the takeover specifically, and court fighting the urge to just deck him because that was a stupid move. Lars getting emotional about one of the Barbie’s looking like Bianca is just. So sad. And Casey just wanting him to be happy, that man doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. Like at all. And that’s canon. He just wants his loved ones to be happy.

But I’ve also seen the idea that Ryan Gosling still exists. And have a personal headcanon for any media that takes place in any version of our realisty that the actors themselves still exist, because there’s so many unconscious references to media that it’d be impossible to tell what life would be like if certain actors never existed. Like yeah RyGos still exists and is a little perturbed by how many look alikes he has. Like. Help that poor man he’s going through a weird ass existential crisis several times over. So that bit about the gosfam seeing markiplier behind Ryland the first time is hilarious because mark fishbach (idk how to spell his last name) is definitely still a person and a very influential personality and it’s just really funny. Anyway

And yeah the wips are always out of control. It’s so wild to go from a wip with full world building and a developing magic system (good ol’ Minecraft. Hermitcraft specifically) to a fucking Dexter fix it fanfic where I ship Dexter with doakes. Help me. Of all my wips only one has an actual story laid out and the one that’s the longest currently (just started chapter 3 and currently just over 7,000 words. Help) is a make it up as I go thing. But it also has world building and a magic system but it’s so different to the Dexter wip I have and the mcyt wip and the other urban fantasy wip (that one being the one with a story structure already) and the murder mystery that’s still at less than 100 words.

What’s Eva’s reaction to the whole thing? Like. She’d have met Colt and court but how’d she react to everyone else?

that woman would be so deep in shock that she wouldn't even notice the Barbies fawning over her. like she is mentally knee-deep in calculations for how many people they could reasonably shuttle there to keep them safe and the Barbies are trying to elect her to some office because she's a strong woman and they obviously value that, not that they know the lengths she went to to try and save Earth of course. if they knew they'd probably ask her to leave because *why* would she hurt so many people just to achieve her mission??

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

distant cousin Ken that nobody's heard from in fifteen years.

he emerges out of the woodwork one day smelling like plastic and strawberries and he finds out about Grace and the poor boy is starstruck, he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and goes all starry-eyed like "His new job is SPACE?!!" and he cannot for the life of him figure out why everybody's so sad, who would be sad with a cool job like space??

Tom, in prison, sees the Hail Mary launch (every tv in the world is only showing it) and sees who’s on board. Sees his ex he never got over. And starts begging the guards to let him have his phone call. He calls Colt. Wtf is Ryland doing going to space on a suicide mission???? Colt, reluctant, tells him Ryland didn’t want to go. Ryder is desperate for a way to make amends with this family and begs Colt for a way to repay SOMEONE for how good Ryland was to him. Colt only asks for an apology for being an uncalled for dick to him and a sincere promise to get better. Ryder readily gives this. Prison has changed him he’s had a lot of time to reflect on his action.

Anyway, about a week later a stranger with a familiar face breaks him out and he’s got a new lawyer, who suspiciously also has a similar face and doesn’t act like a lawyer at all. They get him into therapy and it turns out drugs and alcohol mixing have had an extremely not good mix with his already undiagnosed issues (haven’t fully watched fall guy get so idk what I’d give him but people tend to go with OCD/Bipolar/something else I can’t remember off the top of my head but reads like historic personality disorder) and so he gets proper medication for his issues and a lot of therapy and a massive support system in the extended fam. He turns out to be really good with Clair and Holly surprisingly. And it spurs him into teaching, also motivated by knowing just how much his Ry loved teaching.

Also Tom is terrified of Rylands entire family (including Colt but he’ll never tell him that) and then gets absolutely flabbergasted by Ken when he finally meets this mysterious estranged cousin they don’t talk about much. They hit it off, much to the chagrin of everyone else, they are insufferably corny and both very theatre kids and they let everyone know.

Anyway getting off track

Tom also has a message for Ryland. It’s short and sweet and he’s so different to how Ryland remembers him. He’s grown his natural hair out and it’s shoulder length and curly and a really nice dark brown. He looks worn and tired but he also looks alive in the way Rylands only ever seen when he’s in front of the camera and he’s. He’s shining and Ryland thinks he’s beautiful like this and his voice is softer and has a quality about it that Ryland himself has from teaching and he wonders what Tom teaches (theatre would’ve been his guess but he actually teaches English (both literature and language. Idk if that’s a distinction that happens in America but it does here in the uk so imma go with it) he loves seeing the stories the children come up with and how out of the box children approach things they don’t completely understand) and Ryland regrets leaving even more.

Toms message is just him giving Ryland a small life update. Out of prison and in therapy. Medicated. Living a full and good life among Rylands many relatives. His adventures with Ken (ryland loves these idiots and is glad Tom doesn’t feel too outcast by his, frankly, terrifying family) and all about how he’s glad that he called Colt instead of, like, Gail or someone and he’s so incredibly grateful for the second change Colt gave him, he’s very very aware of just how differently that conversation could’ve gone. And he ends the message with just a simple ‘I love you’ but there’s so much more behind it and so much more he’d never be able to tell Ryland and he’s ugly crying by the end and he just wishes that none of this ever happened.

Tom gets a very lengthy message when the Beatles return and he’s both dreading watching it and out of his mind with excitement and he, hesitantly, asks Colt to watch it with him because he doesn’t think he’d be able to watch it alone and then bursts into tears seeing Ryland. He hasn’t aged much, if at all in these videos even though Tom knows it would’ve been about 13ish years since he got sent to space before they reached him and Ry is crying and he’s sorry he never got to remember the relationship they had and he’s sorry his putting them ALL through grieving him when he’s still alive. And. He’s just crying and wishing them the best in the world’s impending cold era and how he wishes he could be with them.

Anyway. Tom demands that Eva send some probes to Erid with stuff for Ry and just photos and stuff from his family and loved ones at least. And Ryland cries at seeing his cousins and niece grow into capable young women makes him so proud and so regretful that he didn’t have enough time with Holly or any time with Clair and he sees Tom with court and Colt and Ken and he’s smiling and happy and looking like the world has finally stopped kicking him while he’s down and uncle Holland looks so old now and he’s glad that alcohol poisoning doesn’t seem to affect him and he’s glad he’s living to old age and he sees Lars and Casey as till living and they seem happy and he sees Jacob also not looking like the world wants him dead anymore and he’s glad because Jacob wasn’t having a good time when he left and he sees Sebastian looking more at ease too and some Frito’s aren’t from Clairs Polaroid, some are from social media and he’s glad that Seb finally got to open his beloved jazz club and. He’s crying again and Rocky is asking if they’re happy tears and Ryland just nods and keeps crying.

Ryland and Tom get the closure they both needed and they actually wind up becoming friends again thanks to the communication system, it's less awkward than either of them expected it to be and they're both happier for it. Ry feels...bittersweet about being able to keep in contact with all of them, his batshit crazy family included, because the Eridians are absolutely extending his lifespan through some kind of science magic human kibble (ha) and he's getting the pleasurepain of watching them all age;

Colt and Jody have a baby, and he gets to see his twin going grey while their kid grows up through photos and video calls (how advanced is this communication system? who knows, let's pretend it's near-instant back and forth) and Ryland breaks down because the kid wants to be an astronaut like 'uncle Ry' and he absolutely will not tell the kid how much he didn't wanna be an astronaut. what is he, a dream crusher? psh.

Tom and weird cousin Ken are actually surprisingly cute together and he's glad Tom has someone that makes him happy now that he's doing better! Ken gets so excited to talk about his "job" and tries really hard to compare it to Beach--Ryland quietly wonders if maybe Ken got hit on the head a few times but he's happy his cousin and his ex are happy, so he doesn't linger on it too much when they do get to talk.

aaand since i have permanent Bloodymary brain worms i have to include Simon in this-

All in all Ryland is happy about how things are going, but on a day where he's scheduled to call or email Earth he just...doesn't. It takes a few days for an update and Ryland is panicking when he does send out a message, but when he does get the video message sent the entire family is absolutely shocked to see what looks like fucking Markiplier with one arm lingering in the doorway behind him. covered in bandages from neck to waist pretty much, looking wary and suspicious, and the brothers back on Earth are immediately on Big Brother Mode because who is this big angry lump behind you??? where did he come from?? and Ryland has to explain that this dude popped up in a blood-filled submarine in his little chunk of Eridian-made ocean and wowee isn't it cool that he's alive? completely brushing over the teeth on his face and the fact that he's more scar tissue than person ofc.

i think Simon would get along with most of the family honestly, he'd be a little wary of a few of them (Ken in particular, Simon can tell that he's not quite human even through a video and it freaks him out on a primal level. Ken is blissfully unaware.) but over time they all just...become a big interstellar family.

But

But

But. Imagine. Somehow. Grace manages to get to Earth before they all die if old age and Grace finally gets to meet all his nieces and nephews and the rest of his extended family. I hadn’t even considered pairing Tom with Ken (starbeach? Stardoll? Who knows. New crack ship unlocked and I’ll cry about it when I’m not on a fucking train) but it oddly works. Haven’t watched nice guys yet but I gather from things that, yeah, Jackson is rather similar to probably either court or Casey (driver)

And then the eridians discover new dimensions through Simon as the quiet rapture would be impossible in phm and then they somehow meet Officer K (Blade Runner 2049 (which I also agent watched yet)) and this poor man is just. So confused and like. It’s a cyberpunk future from what I can tell and that poor man is so sad and pathetic and has no idea who these people are and- I might have to stop with spreading the rgcu.

But also throw in the markiplier egos if you wish like. Simon being able to tell Ken isn’t completely human because he reminds him of the vague impression of a weird pink man with a moustache who definitely wasn’t real but might have been and one day Simon asks if Ken knows anyone like that? And Ken goes silent, which, weird, he never shuts up. And drops the bomb that discodoll was canon but somehow, after a massive fight, Wilford willed it out of existence. But. Ken remembers. Because it happened in Barbie land. And then he comes clean that it’s pure coincidence that he looks like them because he’s not a distant cousin. He’s a living doll. And he too will never age. And they never noticed that he doesn’t look as old as the rest of them. And. And they are so confused and the realisation that other worlds exist kind of breaks all of their brains (eridians and Grace included but not Simon. He already knew) and then Tom gets really upset because by that point they’d been together for probably a number of decades and. I just seem to really like making Tom cry apparently.

Ken does feel a little bad for not telling everybody the truth right away but once everybody's over the shock maybe he can take 'em all on a vacation to Barbieland, Tom gets jealous of Barbie at first 'cause poor Ken still gets puppy eyes around her sometimes but then realizes she wants nothing to do with Ken in that way and he's like "girl you FUMBLED him look at this perfect specimen, your loss" and he gets all huffy and a little of his old personality starts creeping out but it doesn't get too bad. Tom's just a jealous kinda guy and that is HIS living doll tyvm.

which kinda circles me around to Lars bc let's say he goes on the family trip and he sees a Barbie with dark hair like Bianca, he goes a little pink around the ears and maybe he accidentally calls her Bianca instead of Barbie and some small part of him is gets a little closure from that. Barbie-Bianca thinks Lars is very sweet but she doesn't understand why he gets all misty-eyed looking at her alskdfj Casey is utterly unbothered and is way more interested in how the barbie cars drive without engines in them, no jealousy here, as long as his teddy bear is happy he's happy.

the Goose fam that didn't go on the trip is back home and meeting some of the Egos, K is now living in the same universe as the rest of the Goslings and he and Googleplier get along like a house on fire (after GP gets over the worst of his 'destroy all humans' mentality ofc) to everyone's surprise. Yancy and Court were cellmates at one time so they're chill and maybe even...cuddly...do i wanna ship Court and Yancy? maybe.

But yeah. This is a massive au and 15 wips???? Are you ok?? I thought my 5ish was a lot lord help you

This is such a long thread and I will probably start something for it, whether my brain tells me it’s a good idea or not. Help us all wips are a special kind of hell

I’m also not all that familiar with marks egos, I was a jack kid personally but I’ve been slowly been working through marks work.

But also that thing with Barbie is hilarious. Tom somewhat reverting back to his old personality because he’s a jealous ass is funny as fuck. Colt definitely would’ve had to go to Barbieland to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. But also it’d be really funny to have the gosfam learn about the attempted patriarchy that Ken himself led and be mortified, Tom more at the outfit than the takeover specifically, and court fighting the urge to just deck him because that was a stupid move. Lars getting emotional about one of the Barbie’s looking like Bianca is just. So sad. And Casey just wanting him to be happy, that man doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. Like at all. And that’s canon. He just wants his loved ones to be happy.

But I’ve also seen the idea that Ryan Gosling still exists. And have a personal headcanon for any media that takes place in any version of our realisty that the actors themselves still exist, because there’s so many unconscious references to media that it’d be impossible to tell what life would be like if certain actors never existed. Like yeah RyGos still exists and is a little perturbed by how many look alikes he has. Like. Help that poor man he’s going through a weird ass existential crisis several times over. So that bit about the gosfam seeing markiplier behind Ryland the first time is hilarious because mark fishbach (idk how to spell his last name) is definitely still a person and a very influential personality and it’s just really funny. Anyway

And yeah the wips are always out of control. It’s so wild to go from a wip with full world building and a developing magic system (good ol’ Minecraft. Hermitcraft specifically) to a fucking Dexter fix it fanfic where I ship Dexter with doakes. Help me. Of all my wips only one has an actual story laid out and the one that’s the longest currently (just started chapter 3 and currently just over 7,000 words. Help) is a make it up as I go thing. But it also has world building and a magic system but it’s so different to the Dexter wip I have and the mcyt wip and the other urban fantasy wip (that one being the one with a story structure already) and the murder mystery that’s still at less than 100 words.

What’s Eva’s reaction to the whole thing? Like. She’d have met Colt and court but how’d she react to everyone else?

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

distant cousin Ken that nobody's heard from in fifteen years.

he emerges out of the woodwork one day smelling like plastic and strawberries and he finds out about Grace and the poor boy is starstruck, he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and goes all starry-eyed like "His new job is SPACE?!!" and he cannot for the life of him figure out why everybody's so sad, who would be sad with a cool job like space??

Tom, in prison, sees the Hail Mary launch (every tv in the world is only showing it) and sees who’s on board. Sees his ex he never got over. And starts begging the guards to let him have his phone call. He calls Colt. Wtf is Ryland doing going to space on a suicide mission???? Colt, reluctant, tells him Ryland didn’t want to go. Ryder is desperate for a way to make amends with this family and begs Colt for a way to repay SOMEONE for how good Ryland was to him. Colt only asks for an apology for being an uncalled for dick to him and a sincere promise to get better. Ryder readily gives this. Prison has changed him he’s had a lot of time to reflect on his action.

Anyway, about a week later a stranger with a familiar face breaks him out and he’s got a new lawyer, who suspiciously also has a similar face and doesn’t act like a lawyer at all. They get him into therapy and it turns out drugs and alcohol mixing have had an extremely not good mix with his already undiagnosed issues (haven’t fully watched fall guy get so idk what I’d give him but people tend to go with OCD/Bipolar/something else I can’t remember off the top of my head but reads like historic personality disorder) and so he gets proper medication for his issues and a lot of therapy and a massive support system in the extended fam. He turns out to be really good with Clair and Holly surprisingly. And it spurs him into teaching, also motivated by knowing just how much his Ry loved teaching.

Also Tom is terrified of Rylands entire family (including Colt but he’ll never tell him that) and then gets absolutely flabbergasted by Ken when he finally meets this mysterious estranged cousin they don’t talk about much. They hit it off, much to the chagrin of everyone else, they are insufferably corny and both very theatre kids and they let everyone know.

Anyway getting off track

Tom also has a message for Ryland. It’s short and sweet and he’s so different to how Ryland remembers him. He’s grown his natural hair out and it’s shoulder length and curly and a really nice dark brown. He looks worn and tired but he also looks alive in the way Rylands only ever seen when he’s in front of the camera and he’s. He’s shining and Ryland thinks he’s beautiful like this and his voice is softer and has a quality about it that Ryland himself has from teaching and he wonders what Tom teaches (theatre would’ve been his guess but he actually teaches English (both literature and language. Idk if that’s a distinction that happens in America but it does here in the uk so imma go with it) he loves seeing the stories the children come up with and how out of the box children approach things they don’t completely understand) and Ryland regrets leaving even more.

Toms message is just him giving Ryland a small life update. Out of prison and in therapy. Medicated. Living a full and good life among Rylands many relatives. His adventures with Ken (ryland loves these idiots and is glad Tom doesn’t feel too outcast by his, frankly, terrifying family) and all about how he’s glad that he called Colt instead of, like, Gail or someone and he’s so incredibly grateful for the second change Colt gave him, he’s very very aware of just how differently that conversation could’ve gone. And he ends the message with just a simple ‘I love you’ but there’s so much more behind it and so much more he’d never be able to tell Ryland and he’s ugly crying by the end and he just wishes that none of this ever happened.

Tom gets a very lengthy message when the Beatles return and he’s both dreading watching it and out of his mind with excitement and he, hesitantly, asks Colt to watch it with him because he doesn’t think he’d be able to watch it alone and then bursts into tears seeing Ryland. He hasn’t aged much, if at all in these videos even though Tom knows it would’ve been about 13ish years since he got sent to space before they reached him and Ry is crying and he’s sorry he never got to remember the relationship they had and he’s sorry his putting them ALL through grieving him when he’s still alive. And. He’s just crying and wishing them the best in the world’s impending cold era and how he wishes he could be with them.

Anyway. Tom demands that Eva send some probes to Erid with stuff for Ry and just photos and stuff from his family and loved ones at least. And Ryland cries at seeing his cousins and niece grow into capable young women makes him so proud and so regretful that he didn’t have enough time with Holly or any time with Clair and he sees Tom with court and Colt and Ken and he’s smiling and happy and looking like the world has finally stopped kicking him while he’s down and uncle Holland looks so old now and he’s glad that alcohol poisoning doesn’t seem to affect him and he’s glad he’s living to old age and he sees Lars and Casey as till living and they seem happy and he sees Jacob also not looking like the world wants him dead anymore and he’s glad because Jacob wasn’t having a good time when he left and he sees Sebastian looking more at ease too and some Frito’s aren’t from Clairs Polaroid, some are from social media and he’s glad that Seb finally got to open his beloved jazz club and. He’s crying again and Rocky is asking if they’re happy tears and Ryland just nods and keeps crying.

Ryland and Tom get the closure they both needed and they actually wind up becoming friends again thanks to the communication system, it's less awkward than either of them expected it to be and they're both happier for it. Ry feels...bittersweet about being able to keep in contact with all of them, his batshit crazy family included, because the Eridians are absolutely extending his lifespan through some kind of science magic human kibble (ha) and he's getting the pleasurepain of watching them all age;

Colt and Jody have a baby, and he gets to see his twin going grey while their kid grows up through photos and video calls (how advanced is this communication system? who knows, let's pretend it's near-instant back and forth) and Ryland breaks down because the kid wants to be an astronaut like 'uncle Ry' and he absolutely will not tell the kid how much he didn't wanna be an astronaut. what is he, a dream crusher? psh.

Tom and weird cousin Ken are actually surprisingly cute together and he's glad Tom has someone that makes him happy now that he's doing better! Ken gets so excited to talk about his "job" and tries really hard to compare it to Beach--Ryland quietly wonders if maybe Ken got hit on the head a few times but he's happy his cousin and his ex are happy, so he doesn't linger on it too much when they do get to talk.

aaand since i have permanent Bloodymary brain worms i have to include Simon in this-

All in all Ryland is happy about how things are going, but on a day where he's scheduled to call or email Earth he just...doesn't. It takes a few days for an update and Ryland is panicking when he does send out a message, but when he does get the video message sent the entire family is absolutely shocked to see what looks like fucking Markiplier with one arm lingering in the doorway behind him. covered in bandages from neck to waist pretty much, looking wary and suspicious, and the brothers back on Earth are immediately on Big Brother Mode because who is this big angry lump behind you??? where did he come from?? and Ryland has to explain that this dude popped up in a blood-filled submarine in his little chunk of Eridian-made ocean and wowee isn't it cool that he's alive? completely brushing over the teeth on his face and the fact that he's more scar tissue than person ofc.

i think Simon would get along with most of the family honestly, he'd be a little wary of a few of them (Ken in particular, Simon can tell that he's not quite human even through a video and it freaks him out on a primal level. Ken is blissfully unaware.) but over time they all just...become a big interstellar family.

But

But

But. Imagine. Somehow. Grace manages to get to Earth before they all die if old age and Grace finally gets to meet all his nieces and nephews and the rest of his extended family. I hadn’t even considered pairing Tom with Ken (starbeach? Stardoll? Who knows. New crack ship unlocked and I’ll cry about it when I’m not on a fucking train) but it oddly works. Haven’t watched nice guys yet but I gather from things that, yeah, Jackson is rather similar to probably either court or Casey (driver)

And then the eridians discover new dimensions through Simon as the quiet rapture would be impossible in phm and then they somehow meet Officer K (Blade Runner 2049 (which I also agent watched yet)) and this poor man is just. So confused and like. It’s a cyberpunk future from what I can tell and that poor man is so sad and pathetic and has no idea who these people are and- I might have to stop with spreading the rgcu.

But also throw in the markiplier egos if you wish like. Simon being able to tell Ken isn’t completely human because he reminds him of the vague impression of a weird pink man with a moustache who definitely wasn’t real but might have been and one day Simon asks if Ken knows anyone like that? And Ken goes silent, which, weird, he never shuts up. And drops the bomb that discodoll was canon but somehow, after a massive fight, Wilford willed it out of existence. But. Ken remembers. Because it happened in Barbie land. And then he comes clean that it’s pure coincidence that he looks like them because he’s not a distant cousin. He’s a living doll. And he too will never age. And they never noticed that he doesn’t look as old as the rest of them. And. And they are so confused and the realisation that other worlds exist kind of breaks all of their brains (eridians and Grace included but not Simon. He already knew) and then Tom gets really upset because by that point they’d been together for probably a number of decades and. I just seem to really like making Tom cry apparently.

Ken does feel a little bad for not telling everybody the truth right away but once everybody's over the shock maybe he can take 'em all on a vacation to Barbieland, Tom gets jealous of Barbie at first 'cause poor Ken still gets puppy eyes around her sometimes but then realizes she wants nothing to do with Ken in that way and he's like "girl you FUMBLED him look at this perfect specimen, your loss" and he gets all huffy and a little of his old personality starts creeping out but it doesn't get too bad. Tom's just a jealous kinda guy and that is HIS living doll tyvm.

which kinda circles me around to Lars bc let's say he goes on the family trip and he sees a Barbie with dark hair like Bianca, he goes a little pink around the ears and maybe he accidentally calls her Bianca instead of Barbie and some small part of him is gets a little closure from that. Barbie-Bianca thinks Lars is very sweet but she doesn't understand why he gets all misty-eyed looking at her alskdfj Casey is utterly unbothered and is way more interested in how the barbie cars drive without engines in them, no jealousy here, as long as his teddy bear is happy he's happy.

the Goose fam that didn't go on the trip is back home and meeting some of the Egos, K is now living in the same universe as the rest of the Goslings and he and Googleplier get along like a house on fire (after GP gets over the worst of his 'destroy all humans' mentality ofc) to everyone's surprise. Yancy and Court were cellmates at one time so they're chill and maybe even...cuddly...do i wanna ship Court and Yancy? maybe.

But yeah. This is a massive au and 15 wips???? Are you ok?? I thought my 5ish was a lot lord help you

This is such a long thread and I will probably start something for it, whether my brain tells me it’s a good idea or not. Help us all wips are a special kind of hell

I’m also not all that familiar with marks egos, I was a jack kid personally but I’ve been slowly been working through marks work.

But also that thing with Barbie is hilarious. Tom somewhat reverting back to his old personality because he’s a jealous ass is funny as fuck. Colt definitely would’ve had to go to Barbieland to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. But also it’d be really funny to have the gosfam learn about the attempted patriarchy that Ken himself led and be mortified, Tom more at the outfit than the takeover specifically, and court fighting the urge to just deck him because that was a stupid move. Lars getting emotional about one of the Barbie’s looking like Bianca is just. So sad. And Casey just wanting him to be happy, that man doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. Like at all. And that’s canon. He just wants his loved ones to be happy.

But I’ve also seen the idea that Ryan Gosling still exists. And have a personal headcanon for any media that takes place in any version of our realisty that the actors themselves still exist, because there’s so many unconscious references to media that it’d be impossible to tell what life would be like if certain actors never existed. Like yeah RyGos still exists and is a little perturbed by how many look alikes he has. Like. Help that poor man he’s going through a weird ass existential crisis several times over. So that bit about the gosfam seeing markiplier behind Ryland the first time is hilarious because mark fishbach (idk how to spell his last name) is definitely still a person and a very influential personality and it’s just really funny. Anyway

And yeah the wips are always out of control. It’s so wild to go from a wip with full world building and a developing magic system (good ol’ Minecraft. Hermitcraft specifically) to a fucking Dexter fix it fanfic where I ship Dexter with doakes. Help me. Of all my wips only one has an actual story laid out and the one that’s the longest currently (just started chapter 3 and currently just over 7,000 words. Help) is a make it up as I go thing. But it also has world building and a magic system but it’s so different to the Dexter wip I have and the mcyt wip and the other urban fantasy wip (that one being the one with a story structure already) and the murder mystery that’s still at less than 100 words.

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

distant cousin Ken that nobody's heard from in fifteen years.

he emerges out of the woodwork one day smelling like plastic and strawberries and he finds out about Grace and the poor boy is starstruck, he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and goes all starry-eyed like "His new job is SPACE?!!" and he cannot for the life of him figure out why everybody's so sad, who would be sad with a cool job like space??

Tom, in prison, sees the Hail Mary launch (every tv in the world is only showing it) and sees who’s on board. Sees his ex he never got over. And starts begging the guards to let him have his phone call. He calls Colt. Wtf is Ryland doing going to space on a suicide mission???? Colt, reluctant, tells him Ryland didn’t want to go. Ryder is desperate for a way to make amends with this family and begs Colt for a way to repay SOMEONE for how good Ryland was to him. Colt only asks for an apology for being an uncalled for dick to him and a sincere promise to get better. Ryder readily gives this. Prison has changed him he’s had a lot of time to reflect on his action.

Anyway, about a week later a stranger with a familiar face breaks him out and he’s got a new lawyer, who suspiciously also has a similar face and doesn’t act like a lawyer at all. They get him into therapy and it turns out drugs and alcohol mixing have had an extremely not good mix with his already undiagnosed issues (haven’t fully watched fall guy get so idk what I’d give him but people tend to go with OCD/Bipolar/something else I can’t remember off the top of my head but reads like historic personality disorder) and so he gets proper medication for his issues and a lot of therapy and a massive support system in the extended fam. He turns out to be really good with Clair and Holly surprisingly. And it spurs him into teaching, also motivated by knowing just how much his Ry loved teaching.

Also Tom is terrified of Rylands entire family (including Colt but he’ll never tell him that) and then gets absolutely flabbergasted by Ken when he finally meets this mysterious estranged cousin they don’t talk about much. They hit it off, much to the chagrin of everyone else, they are insufferably corny and both very theatre kids and they let everyone know.

Anyway getting off track

Tom also has a message for Ryland. It’s short and sweet and he’s so different to how Ryland remembers him. He’s grown his natural hair out and it’s shoulder length and curly and a really nice dark brown. He looks worn and tired but he also looks alive in the way Rylands only ever seen when he’s in front of the camera and he’s. He’s shining and Ryland thinks he’s beautiful like this and his voice is softer and has a quality about it that Ryland himself has from teaching and he wonders what Tom teaches (theatre would’ve been his guess but he actually teaches English (both literature and language. Idk if that’s a distinction that happens in America but it does here in the uk so imma go with it) he loves seeing the stories the children come up with and how out of the box children approach things they don’t completely understand) and Ryland regrets leaving even more.

Toms message is just him giving Ryland a small life update. Out of prison and in therapy. Medicated. Living a full and good life among Rylands many relatives. His adventures with Ken (ryland loves these idiots and is glad Tom doesn’t feel too outcast by his, frankly, terrifying family) and all about how he’s glad that he called Colt instead of, like, Gail or someone and he’s so incredibly grateful for the second change Colt gave him, he’s very very aware of just how differently that conversation could’ve gone. And he ends the message with just a simple ‘I love you’ but there’s so much more behind it and so much more he’d never be able to tell Ryland and he’s ugly crying by the end and he just wishes that none of this ever happened.

Tom gets a very lengthy message when the Beatles return and he’s both dreading watching it and out of his mind with excitement and he, hesitantly, asks Colt to watch it with him because he doesn’t think he’d be able to watch it alone and then bursts into tears seeing Ryland. He hasn’t aged much, if at all in these videos even though Tom knows it would’ve been about 13ish years since he got sent to space before they reached him and Ry is crying and he’s sorry he never got to remember the relationship they had and he’s sorry his putting them ALL through grieving him when he’s still alive. And. He’s just crying and wishing them the best in the world’s impending cold era and how he wishes he could be with them.

Anyway. Tom demands that Eva send some probes to Erid with stuff for Ry and just photos and stuff from his family and loved ones at least. And Ryland cries at seeing his cousins and niece grow into capable young women makes him so proud and so regretful that he didn’t have enough time with Holly or any time with Clair and he sees Tom with court and Colt and Ken and he’s smiling and happy and looking like the world has finally stopped kicking him while he’s down and uncle Holland looks so old now and he’s glad that alcohol poisoning doesn’t seem to affect him and he’s glad he’s living to old age and he sees Lars and Casey as till living and they seem happy and he sees Jacob also not looking like the world wants him dead anymore and he’s glad because Jacob wasn’t having a good time when he left and he sees Sebastian looking more at ease too and some Frito’s aren’t from Clairs Polaroid, some are from social media and he’s glad that Seb finally got to open his beloved jazz club and. He’s crying again and Rocky is asking if they’re happy tears and Ryland just nods and keeps crying.

Ryland and Tom get the closure they both needed and they actually wind up becoming friends again thanks to the communication system, it's less awkward than either of them expected it to be and they're both happier for it. Ry feels...bittersweet about being able to keep in contact with all of them, his batshit crazy family included, because the Eridians are absolutely extending his lifespan through some kind of science magic human kibble (ha) and he's getting the pleasurepain of watching them all age;

Colt and Jody have a baby, and he gets to see his twin going grey while their kid grows up through photos and video calls (how advanced is this communication system? who knows, let's pretend it's near-instant back and forth) and Ryland breaks down because the kid wants to be an astronaut like 'uncle Ry' and he absolutely will not tell the kid how much he didn't wanna be an astronaut. what is he, a dream crusher? psh.

Tom and weird cousin Ken are actually surprisingly cute together and he's glad Tom has someone that makes him happy now that he's doing better! Ken gets so excited to talk about his "job" and tries really hard to compare it to Beach--Ryland quietly wonders if maybe Ken got hit on the head a few times but he's happy his cousin and his ex are happy, so he doesn't linger on it too much when they do get to talk.

aaand since i have permanent Bloodymary brain worms i have to include Simon in this-

All in all Ryland is happy about how things are going, but on a day where he's scheduled to call or email Earth he just...doesn't. It takes a few days for an update and Ryland is panicking when he does send out a message, but when he does get the video message sent the entire family is absolutely shocked to see what looks like fucking Markiplier with one arm lingering in the doorway behind him. covered in bandages from neck to waist pretty much, looking wary and suspicious, and the brothers back on Earth are immediately on Big Brother Mode because who is this big angry lump behind you??? where did he come from?? and Ryland has to explain that this dude popped up in a blood-filled submarine in his little chunk of Eridian-made ocean and wowee isn't it cool that he's alive? completely brushing over the teeth on his face and the fact that he's more scar tissue than person ofc.

i think Simon would get along with most of the family honestly, he'd be a little wary of a few of them (Ken in particular, Simon can tell that he's not quite human even through a video and it freaks him out on a primal level. Ken is blissfully unaware.) but over time they all just...become a big interstellar family.

But

But

But. Imagine. Somehow. Grace manages to get to Earth before they all die if old age and Grace finally gets to meet all his nieces and nephews and the rest of his extended family. I hadn’t even considered pairing Tom with Ken (starbeach? Stardoll? Who knows. New crack ship unlocked and I’ll cry about it when I’m not on a fucking train) but it oddly works. Haven’t watched nice guys yet but I gather from things that, yeah, Jackson is rather similar to probably either court or Casey (driver)

And then the eridians discover new dimensions through Simon as the quiet rapture would be impossible in phm and then they somehow meet Officer K (Blade Runner 2049 (which I also agent watched yet)) and this poor man is just. So confused and like. It’s a cyberpunk future from what I can tell and that poor man is so sad and pathetic and has no idea who these people are and- I might have to stop with spreading the rgcu.

But also throw in the markiplier egos if you wish like. Simon being able to tell Ken isn’t completely human because he reminds him of the vague impression of a weird pink man with a moustache who definitely wasn’t real but might have been and one day Simon asks if Ken knows anyone like that? And Ken goes silent, which, weird, he never shuts up. And drops the bomb that discodoll was canon but somehow, after a massive fight, Wilford willed it out of existence. But. Ken remembers. Because it happened in Barbie land. And then he comes clean that it’s pure coincidence that he looks like them because he’s not a distant cousin. He’s a living doll. And he too will never age. And they never noticed that he doesn’t look as old as the rest of them. And. And they are so confused and the realisation that other worlds exist kind of breaks all of their brains (eridians and Grace included but not Simon. He already knew) and then Tom gets really upset because by that point they’d been together for probably a number of decades and. I just seem to really like making Tom cry apparently.

Ken does feel a little bad for not telling everybody the truth right away but once everybody's over the shock maybe he can take 'em all on a vacation to Barbieland, Tom gets jealous of Barbie at first 'cause poor Ken still gets puppy eyes around her sometimes but then realizes she wants nothing to do with Ken in that way and he's like "girl you FUMBLED him look at this perfect specimen, your loss" and he gets all huffy and a little of his old personality starts creeping out but it doesn't get too bad. Tom's just a jealous kinda guy and that is HIS living doll tyvm.

which kinda circles me around to Lars bc let's say he goes on the family trip and he sees a Barbie with dark hair like Bianca, he goes a little pink around the ears and maybe he accidentally calls her Bianca instead of Barbie and some small part of him is gets a little closure from that. Barbie-Bianca thinks Lars is very sweet but she doesn't understand why he gets all misty-eyed looking at her alskdfj Casey is utterly unbothered and is way more interested in how the barbie cars drive without engines in them, no jealousy here, as long as his teddy bear is happy he's happy.

the Goose fam that didn't go on the trip is back home and meeting some of the Egos, K is now living in the same universe as the rest of the Goslings and he and Googleplier get along like a house on fire (after GP gets over the worst of his 'destroy all humans' mentality ofc) to everyone's surprise. Yancy and Court were cellmates at one time so they're chill and maybe even...cuddly...do i wanna ship Court and Yancy? maybe.

But yeah. This is a massive au and 15 wips???? Are you ok?? I thought my 5ish was a lot lord help you

This is such a long thread and I will probably start something for it, whether my brain tells me it’s a good idea or not. Help us all wips are a special kind of hell

I’m also not all that familiar with marks egos, I was a jack kid personally but I’ve been slowly been working through marks work.

But also that thing with Barbie is hilarious. Tom somewhat reverting back to his old personality because he’s a jealous ass is funny as fuck. Colt definitely would’ve had to go to Barbieland to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. But also it’d be really funny to have the gosfam learn about the attempted patriarchy that Ken himself led and be mortified, Tom more at the outfit than the takeover specifically, and court fighting the urge to just deck him because that was a stupid move. Lars getting emotional about one of the Barbie’s looking like Bianca is just. So sad. And Casey just wanting him to be happy, that man doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. Like at all. And that’s canon. He just wants his loved ones to be happy.

But I’ve also seen the idea that Ryan Gosling still exists. And have a personal headcanon for any media that takes place in any version of our realisty that the actors themselves still exist, because there’s so many unconscious references to media that it’d be impossible to tell what life would be like if certain actors never existed. Like yeah RyGos still exists and is a little perturbed by how many look alikes he has. Like. Help that poor man he’s going through a weird ass existential crisis several times over. So that bit about the gosfam seeing markiplier behind Ryland the first time is hilarious because mark fishbach (idk how to spell his last name) is definitely still a person and a very influential personality and it’s just really funny. Anyway

this has happened to me (and a small group of friends) before, in almost frighteningly similar circumstances

we all watched Good Omens, decided that it was in fact The Absolute Shit, and then a few of us kind of went off the deep end and watched everything ever made by either Michael Sheen, David Tennant, and a few particularly dedicated (autistic /lh) soldiers among us watched everything ever made by BOTH.

we were shipping Tennants and Sheens together. We were shipping Tennants and Tennants, Sheens and Sheens, side characters that maybe had two words through the whole production, it didn't really matter if we could find even a CRUMB of chemistry that might exist, it was eerily like what's happening in the Gosling fandom rn (looking ever so lovingly at you, Sundaydriver. You're mostly very wholesome and i'm glad i found you by chance)

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

distant cousin Ken that nobody's heard from in fifteen years.

he emerges out of the woodwork one day smelling like plastic and strawberries and he finds out about Grace and the poor boy is starstruck, he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and goes all starry-eyed like "His new job is SPACE?!!" and he cannot for the life of him figure out why everybody's so sad, who would be sad with a cool job like space??

Tom, in prison, sees the Hail Mary launch (every tv in the world is only showing it) and sees who’s on board. Sees his ex he never got over. And starts begging the guards to let him have his phone call. He calls Colt. Wtf is Ryland doing going to space on a suicide mission???? Colt, reluctant, tells him Ryland didn’t want to go. Ryder is desperate for a way to make amends with this family and begs Colt for a way to repay SOMEONE for how good Ryland was to him. Colt only asks for an apology for being an uncalled for dick to him and a sincere promise to get better. Ryder readily gives this. Prison has changed him he’s had a lot of time to reflect on his action.

Anyway, about a week later a stranger with a familiar face breaks him out and he’s got a new lawyer, who suspiciously also has a similar face and doesn’t act like a lawyer at all. They get him into therapy and it turns out drugs and alcohol mixing have had an extremely not good mix with his already undiagnosed issues (haven’t fully watched fall guy get so idk what I’d give him but people tend to go with OCD/Bipolar/something else I can’t remember off the top of my head but reads like historic personality disorder) and so he gets proper medication for his issues and a lot of therapy and a massive support system in the extended fam. He turns out to be really good with Clair and Holly surprisingly. And it spurs him into teaching, also motivated by knowing just how much his Ry loved teaching.

Also Tom is terrified of Rylands entire family (including Colt but he’ll never tell him that) and then gets absolutely flabbergasted by Ken when he finally meets this mysterious estranged cousin they don’t talk about much. They hit it off, much to the chagrin of everyone else, they are insufferably corny and both very theatre kids and they let everyone know.

Anyway getting off track

Tom also has a message for Ryland. It’s short and sweet and he’s so different to how Ryland remembers him. He’s grown his natural hair out and it’s shoulder length and curly and a really nice dark brown. He looks worn and tired but he also looks alive in the way Rylands only ever seen when he’s in front of the camera and he’s. He’s shining and Ryland thinks he’s beautiful like this and his voice is softer and has a quality about it that Ryland himself has from teaching and he wonders what Tom teaches (theatre would’ve been his guess but he actually teaches English (both literature and language. Idk if that’s a distinction that happens in America but it does here in the uk so imma go with it) he loves seeing the stories the children come up with and how out of the box children approach things they don’t completely understand) and Ryland regrets leaving even more.

Toms message is just him giving Ryland a small life update. Out of prison and in therapy. Medicated. Living a full and good life among Rylands many relatives. His adventures with Ken (ryland loves these idiots and is glad Tom doesn’t feel too outcast by his, frankly, terrifying family) and all about how he’s glad that he called Colt instead of, like, Gail or someone and he’s so incredibly grateful for the second change Colt gave him, he’s very very aware of just how differently that conversation could’ve gone. And he ends the message with just a simple ‘I love you’ but there’s so much more behind it and so much more he’d never be able to tell Ryland and he’s ugly crying by the end and he just wishes that none of this ever happened.

Tom gets a very lengthy message when the Beatles return and he’s both dreading watching it and out of his mind with excitement and he, hesitantly, asks Colt to watch it with him because he doesn’t think he’d be able to watch it alone and then bursts into tears seeing Ryland. He hasn’t aged much, if at all in these videos even though Tom knows it would’ve been about 13ish years since he got sent to space before they reached him and Ry is crying and he’s sorry he never got to remember the relationship they had and he’s sorry his putting them ALL through grieving him when he’s still alive. And. He’s just crying and wishing them the best in the world’s impending cold era and how he wishes he could be with them.

Anyway. Tom demands that Eva send some probes to Erid with stuff for Ry and just photos and stuff from his family and loved ones at least. And Ryland cries at seeing his cousins and niece grow into capable young women makes him so proud and so regretful that he didn’t have enough time with Holly or any time with Clair and he sees Tom with court and Colt and Ken and he’s smiling and happy and looking like the world has finally stopped kicking him while he’s down and uncle Holland looks so old now and he’s glad that alcohol poisoning doesn’t seem to affect him and he’s glad he’s living to old age and he sees Lars and Casey as till living and they seem happy and he sees Jacob also not looking like the world wants him dead anymore and he’s glad because Jacob wasn’t having a good time when he left and he sees Sebastian looking more at ease too and some Frito’s aren’t from Clairs Polaroid, some are from social media and he’s glad that Seb finally got to open his beloved jazz club and. He’s crying again and Rocky is asking if they’re happy tears and Ryland just nods and keeps crying.

Ryland and Tom get the closure they both needed and they actually wind up becoming friends again thanks to the communication system, it's less awkward than either of them expected it to be and they're both happier for it. Ry feels...bittersweet about being able to keep in contact with all of them, his batshit crazy family included, because the Eridians are absolutely extending his lifespan through some kind of science magic human kibble (ha) and he's getting the pleasurepain of watching them all age;

Colt and Jody have a baby, and he gets to see his twin going grey while their kid grows up through photos and video calls (how advanced is this communication system? who knows, let's pretend it's near-instant back and forth) and Ryland breaks down because the kid wants to be an astronaut like 'uncle Ry' and he absolutely will not tell the kid how much he didn't wanna be an astronaut. what is he, a dream crusher? psh.

Tom and weird cousin Ken are actually surprisingly cute together and he's glad Tom has someone that makes him happy now that he's doing better! Ken gets so excited to talk about his "job" and tries really hard to compare it to Beach--Ryland quietly wonders if maybe Ken got hit on the head a few times but he's happy his cousin and his ex are happy, so he doesn't linger on it too much when they do get to talk.

aaand since i have permanent Bloodymary brain worms i have to include Simon in this-

All in all Ryland is happy about how things are going, but on a day where he's scheduled to call or email Earth he just...doesn't. It takes a few days for an update and Ryland is panicking when he does send out a message, but when he does get the video message sent the entire family is absolutely shocked to see what looks like fucking Markiplier with one arm lingering in the doorway behind him. covered in bandages from neck to waist pretty much, looking wary and suspicious, and the brothers back on Earth are immediately on Big Brother Mode because who is this big angry lump behind you??? where did he come from?? and Ryland has to explain that this dude popped up in a blood-filled submarine in his little chunk of Eridian-made ocean and wowee isn't it cool that he's alive? completely brushing over the teeth on his face and the fact that he's more scar tissue than person ofc.

i think Simon would get along with most of the family honestly, he'd be a little wary of a few of them (Ken in particular, Simon can tell that he's not quite human even through a video and it freaks him out on a primal level. Ken is blissfully unaware.) but over time they all just...become a big interstellar family.

But

But

But. Imagine. Somehow. Grace manages to get to Earth before they all die if old age and Grace finally gets to meet all his nieces and nephews and the rest of his extended family. I hadn’t even considered pairing Tom with Ken (starbeach? Stardoll? Who knows. New crack ship unlocked and I’ll cry about it when I’m not on a fucking train) but it oddly works. Haven’t watched nice guys yet but I gather from things that, yeah, Jackson is rather similar to probably either court or Casey (driver)

And then the eridians discover new dimensions through Simon as the quiet rapture would be impossible in phm and then they somehow meet Officer K (Blade Runner 2049 (which I also agent watched yet)) and this poor man is just. So confused and like. It’s a cyberpunk future from what I can tell and that poor man is so sad and pathetic and has no idea who these people are and- I might have to stop with spreading the rgcu.

But also throw in the markiplier egos if you wish like. Simon being able to tell Ken isn’t completely human because he reminds him of the vague impression of a weird pink man with a moustache who definitely wasn’t real but might have been and one day Simon asks if Ken knows anyone like that? And Ken goes silent, which, weird, he never shuts up. And drops the bomb that discodoll was canon but somehow, after a massive fight, Wilford willed it out of existence. But. Ken remembers. Because it happened in Barbie land. And then he comes clean that it’s pure coincidence that he looks like them because he’s not a distant cousin. He’s a living doll. And he too will never age. And they never noticed that he doesn’t look as old as the rest of them. And. And they are so confused and the realisation that other worlds exist kind of breaks all of their brains (eridians and Grace included but not Simon. He already knew) and then Tom gets really upset because by that point they’d been together for probably a number of decades and. I just seem to really like making Tom cry apparently.

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

distant cousin Ken that nobody's heard from in fifteen years.

he emerges out of the woodwork one day smelling like plastic and strawberries and he finds out about Grace and the poor boy is starstruck, he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and goes all starry-eyed like "His new job is SPACE?!!" and he cannot for the life of him figure out why everybody's so sad, who would be sad with a cool job like space??

Tom, in prison, sees the Hail Mary launch (every tv in the world is only showing it) and sees who’s on board. Sees his ex he never got over. And starts begging the guards to let him have his phone call. He calls Colt. Wtf is Ryland doing going to space on a suicide mission???? Colt, reluctant, tells him Ryland didn’t want to go. Ryder is desperate for a way to make amends with this family and begs Colt for a way to repay SOMEONE for how good Ryland was to him. Colt only asks for an apology for being an uncalled for dick to him and a sincere promise to get better. Ryder readily gives this. Prison has changed him he’s had a lot of time to reflect on his action.

Anyway, about a week later a stranger with a familiar face breaks him out and he’s got a new lawyer, who suspiciously also has a similar face and doesn’t act like a lawyer at all. They get him into therapy and it turns out drugs and alcohol mixing have had an extremely not good mix with his already undiagnosed issues (haven’t fully watched fall guy get so idk what I’d give him but people tend to go with OCD/Bipolar/something else I can’t remember off the top of my head but reads like historic personality disorder) and so he gets proper medication for his issues and a lot of therapy and a massive support system in the extended fam. He turns out to be really good with Clair and Holly surprisingly. And it spurs him into teaching, also motivated by knowing just how much his Ry loved teaching.

Also Tom is terrified of Rylands entire family (including Colt but he’ll never tell him that) and then gets absolutely flabbergasted by Ken when he finally meets this mysterious estranged cousin they don’t talk about much. They hit it off, much to the chagrin of everyone else, they are insufferably corny and both very theatre kids and they let everyone know.

Anyway getting off track

Tom also has a message for Ryland. It’s short and sweet and he’s so different to how Ryland remembers him. He’s grown his natural hair out and it’s shoulder length and curly and a really nice dark brown. He looks worn and tired but he also looks alive in the way Rylands only ever seen when he’s in front of the camera and he’s. He’s shining and Ryland thinks he’s beautiful like this and his voice is softer and has a quality about it that Ryland himself has from teaching and he wonders what Tom teaches (theatre would’ve been his guess but he actually teaches English (both literature and language. Idk if that’s a distinction that happens in America but it does here in the uk so imma go with it) he loves seeing the stories the children come up with and how out of the box children approach things they don’t completely understand) and Ryland regrets leaving even more.

Toms message is just him giving Ryland a small life update. Out of prison and in therapy. Medicated. Living a full and good life among Rylands many relatives. His adventures with Ken (ryland loves these idiots and is glad Tom doesn’t feel too outcast by his, frankly, terrifying family) and all about how he’s glad that he called Colt instead of, like, Gail or someone and he’s so incredibly grateful for the second change Colt gave him, he’s very very aware of just how differently that conversation could’ve gone. And he ends the message with just a simple ‘I love you’ but there’s so much more behind it and so much more he’d never be able to tell Ryland and he’s ugly crying by the end and he just wishes that none of this ever happened.

Tom gets a very lengthy message when the Beatles return and he’s both dreading watching it and out of his mind with excitement and he, hesitantly, asks Colt to watch it with him because he doesn’t think he’d be able to watch it alone and then bursts into tears seeing Ryland. He hasn’t aged much, if at all in these videos even though Tom knows it would’ve been about 13ish years since he got sent to space before they reached him and Ry is crying and he’s sorry he never got to remember the relationship they had and he’s sorry his putting them ALL through grieving him when he’s still alive. And. He’s just crying and wishing them the best in the world’s impending cold era and how he wishes he could be with them.

Anyway. Tom demands that Eva send some probes to Erid with stuff for Ry and just photos and stuff from his family and loved ones at least. And Ryland cries at seeing his cousins and niece grow into capable young women makes him so proud and so regretful that he didn’t have enough time with Holly or any time with Clair and he sees Tom with court and Colt and Ken and he’s smiling and happy and looking like the world has finally stopped kicking him while he’s down and uncle Holland looks so old now and he’s glad that alcohol poisoning doesn’t seem to affect him and he’s glad he’s living to old age and he sees Lars and Casey as till living and they seem happy and he sees Jacob also not looking like the world wants him dead anymore and he’s glad because Jacob wasn’t having a good time when he left and he sees Sebastian looking more at ease too and some Frito’s aren’t from Clairs Polaroid, some are from social media and he’s glad that Seb finally got to open his beloved jazz club and. He’s crying again and Rocky is asking if they’re happy tears and Ryland just nods and keeps crying.

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

distant cousin Ken that nobody's heard from in fifteen years.

he emerges out of the woodwork one day smelling like plastic and strawberries and he finds out about Grace and the poor boy is starstruck, he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation and goes all starry-eyed like "His new job is SPACE?!!" and he cannot for the life of him figure out why everybody's so sad, who would be sad with a cool job like space??

Colt, meanwhile, is sobbing on Jody because wtf else can he do??? his baby (by five whole minutes) brother is gone and he can't get him back. he tried getting their uncle Holland to track him down before he found out Ryland was IN SPACE and Holland's drinking heavier than usual once he finds out-

i'm having fun with this can you tell

BGM - Submitted by: fastman27