ItsUncleSlam & Chilled!  (x)

“Alright everybody, that’s it. That’s our show Paranormal Action Squad. You guys should go check it out. Pretty damn good show. THIS SHOW…. IS THE BEST SHOW. Check out the damn show okay? It’s the best show in the world because [SeaNanners and Sark] are in it and i’m in it. Paranormal Action Squad. Check it out, alright? …Or i’ll kill you.” - Evan

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Where are your pants?”

“I laugh because I hurt inside.”

“Please refrain from shooting her, we need her for later.”

“You look like an open autopsy.”

“That’s french for ‘go away’.“

“You know, I would help, but making fun of you is so much more satisfying.”

“No, you silly goose, it’s magic!”

“Put me down!”

“How much did someone pay you to wear that?!”

“What did you just do?!”

“Stop filming me, moron!”

“It was all me, by the way.”

“Look at this, ACTION ROLL! They’ll never see it coming!”

“You know ‘give me a warning’ means let me know BEFORE they come in here!”

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

“I may have mildly panicked…”

“Ooo, that must’ve hurt!”

“I am very, very bad under pressure!”

“Shut up, it’s fine, just chill, we’re fine, I’m fine, everything is cool, everything is good! We’re chill, nothing is happening and I am not freaking out, not at all, we’re FINE.””

“Now, not to be forward, but I love you.”

“I’m 72 different flavors of done with you.”

“Hey, on the ground there it says you’re a gullible shit.”

“It’s do or die, most likely die.”

“No it’s ‘Protect and Serve’ not ‘Get Rekt and Swerve’.”

“You make me smile.”

“Liam Neeson would do it.”

“Jail can’t stop me.”

“It’s four o'clock, don’t you think you should fuck off?”

“I remain confused.”

“As the wise Scooby Doo said; “Ruh Roh”.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I feel fabulous.”

“Can someone shoot him?”

“Well this isn’t at all like High School Musical.“ 

“Quick, blend in!”

“At the moment, it seemed like a good plan, obviously it was not.”

“Well obviously nothing is going on here!”

“Can I help you?”

“Don’t be intimidated by my bloody and battered figure.”

“Is your name Bob? You look like a Bob.”

“KILL ME! KILL ME IN THE EYES!”

“Well that was unsettling.”

“Don’t judge me, but I may have murdered someone.”

“Why is there a picture of Steve Buscemi in your bathroom?!”

start with black screen

cue royalty-free music

a) tells a personal story, b) someone says weird random question/statement (followed by laughter)

make reference to a) music artist from the 90′s, b) tv show/movie, c) other celebrity

makes that face where he raises his eyebrows, puts his lips together, and pulls the corners of his mouth back

someone asks “have you heard of (insert obscure object)?”

“OH GOD/ OH MY GOD/ GOD DAMN IT”

mention an animal of some sort

dolphin laugh

(w/ Sark) you know what this reminds me of? machinima.

(optional) make millennial reference

(prop hunt) find insane spot (optional) outside of map

(shooter) find room in corner of the map and messes around with movable objects

(online game) finds friends and admire looks of their characters

[Daily satan things] (Because yes, he can have a cat pone case).

Achivement Hunter(anything)/Rooster Teeth

Game Grumps

Any of the Derp Crew

Ray (Brownman)

Seananners

Any other videogame type stuff!!

All of the achivement hunter seriously

Maybe a hint of markiplier