Can't Be Bothered To Think About a Good Title.

im losing it

space is too pretty we dont deserve her

“Let us get our teeth cleaned” what are you, a horse? You’ve got a toothbrush at home yeah? Please?

why were you microwaving a lemon???

I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn’t own any pots

Did you burn an orange too? How???

Microwave for 40 minutes 😔

my secret talent is getting tired without doing anything

i’m saving my brain for special occasions. if i use it every day it’ll get dirty

The person who first discovered that coconut could be eaten must have experienced depths of hunger many will never know.

They prolly just saw some other animal doin it my man

you mean like the coconut crab, which naturally feeds on coconuts by breaking htem open with large claws? 

For clarification, the crabs are not accused of killing Amelia Earhart. The idea is that if she died after crash landing on an island in the pacific the coconut crabs would have eaten her corpse and scattered the bones, which is why no one has ever found her body.