journeying the fool's errand

i didnt expect these to hit so hard but then they kept going and going….my god

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

The lion will never financially recover from this

fun fact about american history: george washington was apparently so sexy that when he was 17 he went swimming a river and some girl that had a crush on him stole his clothes and watched as he walked around naked looking for them

aaron burr, the guy who shot alexander hamilton and also the second vice president of the united states, tried to start an empire out in texas

marquis de lafayette literally had to sneak out of france to come aid america and while some versions of the story claim that he disguised himself as a commoner, other versions say he dressed up like a woman

literally all the founding fathers had daddy issues, specifically alexander hamilton who refused to even befriend george washington initially because he didn’t want to grow close to someone who had the potential to become a father like figure to him

thomas jeffereson kept a bust of alexander hamilton in his house at monticello for no reason other than the fact that hamilton was his sworn enemy and he felt as though he needed a very expensive bust of his sworn enemy in his house

I love all of this please keep going.

they didn’t let hamilton try this one course of study at king’s college because it was so intense that it made one student literally get sick and have to go home for months on end and that student was james madison

george washington made a rule banning snacks during cabinet meetings because thomas jefferson would always eat mac n cheese which wasn’t big in the us at the time and all the other founding fathers thought it was disgusting

aaron burr once set himself on fire because he attempted to light a candle by shooting it because he was too tired to get an actual match and his gun was nearby

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then

i dont care how corny iris by the goo goo dolls is bc i love iris by the goo goo dolls and i will continue screaming iris by the goo goo dolls from the top of my lungs every time i hear iris by the goo goo dolls for the rest of my miserable life 

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks

so has anybody’s dad ever actually apologized to them, or is that just an urban legend

Man who hates the very concept of life and all living beings: I should design portal websites for colleges and job applications