I should actually be sewing

not many people know this but every death ever was because of natural causes

the human body can tell when its about to get murdered and will instantly die of natural causes seconds before it happens

as a defense mechanism

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

My job here is done

@antisocialgaycat

The "I just pretended I belong here and no one has noticed so far that I'm not supposed to be here" fics are hysterical to me. If someone pretended to be my cousin and showed up in my house they would absolutely get my inattentive ass.

Reblog if this would work on you (definitely would for me! I don't even know how many great aunts and uncles I have much less their names, except for the really atrocious ones like the guy who stole from the cemetery)

oh yeah, this is actually one of the tamer stories about my great-grandad. he stars in a LOT of family stories that got passed down- this is the same guy who ambushed the town drunk with a friend and buried him face-up a couple of feet deep in one of his fields with a stovepipe over his face so he could breathe, and just. left him there for 24 hours. they went back with shovels the next day and dug him back out, dude never drank again, supposedly

Babe, I know you don't like talking about the mystery surrounding your birth mother's identity or the fact that you can spontaneously summon snow, but we have to discuss your stalker, Sutekh the Destroyer. He's really throwing off my jibe.

the only thing that matters during pride month is cecil and carlos' anniversary

June 15 is the anniversary of both the Night Vale and Gravity Falls pilots, as well as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz’s birthday and “give it up for day 15” day

happy birthday to the only things ever

And love händel reunion day and Linda and Lawrence’s anniversary

The most day ever