I Seek Adventures

The Hyperactivity in Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is NOT about being physically hyperactive, it's about having a "hyperactive central nervous system" because it's a form of inheritable dysautonomia. The problem with disautonomia, especially the ADHD kind, is that it makes boredom flag to your nervous system as a THREAT, triggering hyperactive and maladaptive central nervous system processes like fight or flight.

But dysautonomia kills you that way. Literally, part of the reason our average life spand increase on stimulents is that it helps manage risk-taking impulsivity that can get us killed by accident, but the other part is that stimulents can regulate a hyperactive CNS such that it is functionally (while impacted by the stimulent) NOT dysregulated anymore. And PHYSIOLOGICALLY that is essential because the physical outcomes of dysautonomia can reduce your life span by YEARS if not decades through self-perpetuating hypervigelence, endocrine disruption, and adrenal fatigue.

So when the ADHD brain goes stimulation-seeking and a doctor tells you to practice mindfulness, it feels like being told "hey go stand in a functioning boiler until you can stop thinking" rather than WHAT IT IS which is the process of re-teaching your body what is and isn't safe.

Standing outside making mindful, non-interpretive/moralized observation of the world helps your brain and body re-acclimate to the idea that absence of that frantic "busy" feeling isn't a threat or a risk to your safety, and gradually reduces the level of distress that just hanging out somewhere triggers for you.

Learning WHY this stuff was being suggested and understanding what it was actually supposed to do went a long way towards changing my relationship with my ADHD. I am FAR more functional now, far less prone to shame spirals and rejection sensitivity, hell, I can **sit physically still for near on an hour at a time** now without feeling like I'm going to crawl out of my skin.

So yeah. Go outside. Let the world narrow around you and take deep breaths until it stops feeling claustrophobic or like you need to climb walls. Learn how to let little sensations become big ones like the way the heat of the sun on your skin starts as a gentle warming and be omes a unique collection of sensory moments depending on how it lands on you. Listen for sounds under sounds and let them fade in and out as you move your focus from one sound to the next. Enjoy. Move on. Rinse and repeat.

A lot of environmental damage is reversible if we act. We’ve got a lot of success stories like this actually. A lot of formerly endangered species have come back, fish have returned to American rivers, the ozone layer is being restored.

Gosh.

what frustrates me about steve's fandom characterization, specifically in steddie, is not that he's self-sacrificial, because he is. its that so many people root steve's self-sacrifice in self-loathing. there's this overarching idea that steve feels so worthless that he throws himself in front of others because he believes they deserve to live more than him.

and that characterization does a severe disservice to him and blatantly ignores the best part about him - how deeply he loves his friends.

yes, he throws himself into danger, but it's not because he hates himself.

steve is an incredibly confident character. the reason he lets the others' snarky comments roll off his back isn't because he believes he deserves them, it's because he doesn't give a shit. because he knows who he is. honestly, out of every character in that show, he's the only one who really knows what he's about.

when steve throws himself between his friends and danger, it's simply because he loves them so much that he'll do anything to protect them. it's nothing more than that.

his humbleness when eddie waxes on about his heroics in season four stems from steve's protectiveness being so intrinsic to who he is that he just sees it as a fact of life, not as a big sparkly thing deserving of special recognition.

also as a side note, a lot of people make this self-hatred come from how he acted when he was younger. either he acted that way as a mask for his low confidence, or he can't forgive himself now for who he used to be. and i'll be honest, i don't think he ruminates on his past self at all by season 4. one of steve's core traits is that he's incredibly pragmatic. by the end of season 1, he realized he didn't like the person he was becoming, he spent season 2 changing that, and then he moved on. i don't think he spared much thought to it since.

that pragmatism also extends towards his protectiveness. he sees a threat coming for him and his friends, and he steps in front to protect them, typically because he's the oldest and/or physically strongest in the group (season 2 in the tunnels, the fight with billy, the strongest swimmer in the lake, etc). he's the best for the job so he'll step up and do it, no second thoughts or second guessing. that's what makes him so interesting and i hate to see it diminished.

Some people, it's clear, learned almost entirely through absorbing the world around them. Grammar and punctuation will be all over the place, spellings are approximate, but the voice of the narration will come through so clearly. You can hear the dialect of the people around them as of they're telling the story. It's not a written story, it's a transcription of how they talk in their day to day life.

Some people learned through reading a gazillion books as a kid. Grammer and spelling will be rock solid, formatting occasionally based on the single tab of physical books rather than the double tab of online scrolling, but dialogue is often stilted and overly formal. You might notice a lack of contractions and very rigid rules they made for consistency that actually have a lot more flexibility than they think. They tend to have a fantastic grasp of sentence flow, though.

And other people formally learned how to write. This could be anywhere from taking school classes seriously because they enjoyed writing stories as a kid to literal certifications and jobs in the field. Grammer is flawless. Punctuation is triple checked. Foreign words are in italics. Characters have distinct voices. But their self indulgence is tempered by perfectionism. They know precisely what they want from a fic. Authors notes often feature mutterings about their happiness with the chapter. Kaomojis often appear! They seek a style to their writing, and it makes for some wonderfully clever plots! These are the ones most likely to get fun with formatting!

And some people.... Some people examined it all. They dissect dialogue, people watch, cross reference behaviours and compare characters to people irl. You can tell almost immediately who had formative experiences with Terry pratchett and/or ghibli, because it's these people. While others see writing as fun, expression, craft, they see it as art. Plain and simple. Sure, the grammar is occasionally sacrificed on the altar of creative freedom, and the occasional sentence might miss a full stop, but these people seem to self reflect on themselves as part of the art making process. On occasion, these people have the most masterful grasp of dialogue and invocation and hand sewn characterisations. Formatting is pretty standard because all the focus is on the actual words. These fics can be edited to the moon and back!

All of these can vary wildly in forethought and quality, and betas can often catch individual problems before they hit post, but just. Isn't it so cool? What's that one Oscar Wilde quote about every mask just being another fragment of yourself?

easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like "mayd" or "maygh")

ONE SYLLABLE!!! ("individual" is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually

ends in a soft vowel sound, so it'll flow right into the next word ("ind" halts the whole sentence)

fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter

distinct enough that it can't be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I'll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)

wizard.

drawbacks:

there aren't any

Recently I casually wrote a sentence that was about 80% accurate - something like “Kendal mint cake is intended for use by hikers as an energy ration.”

This is not entirely accurate, as the various manufacturers of the sweet don’t really market it for any particular niche. And it is sold as a local delicacy in Kendal.

But otherwise, KMC isn’t available for purchase in grocery stores, and you won’t find it in sweet shops; in most towns, you won’t find it in any shop that sells food. Instead, you pretty much only find it in camping/hiking/outdoor equipment shops, with the rations or next to the checkout, often in protective tins for your backpack, that look like this:

But it isn’t the manufacturers intending it as a product with a purpose - the outdoor community are the ones who decided what they want it for, why they buy it, and how they’re going to sell it to each other. The community who use it are the ones doing all the marketing. The manufacturers just want to sell it - and the outdoor community have already decided on their relationship with it.

So it’s right to say it isn’t precisely “intended” as a hiking ration. It’s just sold to you with that intention, and it’s probably why you’re buying it, and contextually it’s rarely applied for anything else. The legend, the reputation, and the fact that it still works as a hiking ration are almost certainly the reason why it still exists. “Is this the world’s first energy bar?” The BBC asked in 2018. So it’s an interesting thought exercise about the accuracy of the statement; whose intentions matter most? I’m a bit biased towards the outdoor shops, who market it as a hiking ration, because they’re the ones keeping the product alive and the manufacturers in business. How much do the intentions of the creator factor into the destiny of any product? We could ponder that all day.

But that wasn’t why a few people were mad at me.

As everyone versed in the deep lore knows, KMC was invented by accident. It was wrought in the fell* places, ha, and should not have been. A guy fucked up making something else - a different kind of mint sweet - and instead created a solid cake of dense peppermint sugar instead. It was found to be edible, and could be manipulated, yet was also very stable: the high sugar and peppermint stopped it spoiling, and it didn’t soften or harden or melt or become messy. That is the origin of Kendal Mint Cake. It was never precisely invented or intended for anything; the legendary use was found afterwards.

That wasn’t why people were mad at me, either.

They were mad at me for spouting off with false confidence, spreading misinformation about the origin of Kendal Mint Cake, claiming it had been “invented for hikers.” What an idiot! It was invented by accident! Imagine being so stupid and wrong, lmao.

I looked carefully at this, with great interest. You see, i happened to know this fact. Nobody can kick off an entirely unnecessary 50k note post about Kendal Mint Cake without knowing three facts about Kendal Mint Cake. It didn’t sound like me to be wrong about that. And while I agreed on reflection that the manufacturers probably don’t “intend” any purpose at all - by the time the BBC is writing about it as an energy bar, the horse has sailed the ship away, and the public consciousness have officially assigned their own separate intention to the product.

So why get steamed and personal?

(Remember that only British people care about this.)

I looked back at the post. I looked at the comments. I looked at the post.

If you are just coasting on vibes,

“Intended”

And

“Invented”

Look like the same word.

Is this why people on booktok skim? Is this why it seems many people have reading comprehension issues? WERE KIDS JUST NOT TAUGHT READING THE PHONETIC WAY?

https://www.apmreports.org/episode/2019/08/22/whats-wrong-how-schools-teach-reading

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

That said, it's normal to make friends in that space who you hang out with, outside of kink stuff. When that happens and people asked where I met my friend, my go-to line was "Spin-class," which is a very funny joke if you know me even a little. Very not my scene.

Well, funnily enough, while I was working at a homeless shelter, we had a very similar rule because of the homeless stigma. If a guest from the Shelter sees you outside of work, you don't acknowledge or approach them. They can approach you, but you don't tell whoever you're with where you know them. The guest gets to decide if they want to share that info.

Smash cut to me being out with a friend I met at the dungeon a very long time ago. I bump into a guest from the shelter who approaches me to chat. My friend asks how I know the guest, and without thinking, I blurt out "spin class" before remembering that's my go to lie for how I ment dungeon friends. These two proceed to have a conversation, neither fully understood.

Friend: ooohhhh okay i get it. Spin class! Me too. Stopped taking that class a while ago tho.

Guest. Oh for real? That's sick man, good for you! You got a good set up now?

Friend: The best!! I've taken up wood working so my furniture is all custom. Got plenty of space to do "spin" at home. It's coming together.

Guest: Hell yeah brother!!!

Friend: was really good to have my own space during the rona, but man it's lonely! I kinda miss the group dynamics.

Guest: Yeah, i heard that from my homie when he got out of "Spin class!" But it's for the best.

Friend: it can be, but its not for everybody. Can be safer to Spin in a group.

Guest: i know that. Lost a few homie to "spinning" alone. At least at the "class" you got other eyes on you.

Friend: I'm sorry to hear that! You know some elements of "Spinning" are risky but you never think anyone would get hurt. So, my buddy here still a real hard ass for safety?

Guest: oh man you dont even know. They revamped our whole fire escape plan.

Friend: Oh shit! They did that back when i was in Spin class too!

Guest: still improving the system i guess.

Friend: they still keep a bunch of robes outside in a shed so people who get out can cover up?

Guest: Yes!!!

Friend: Did you know it's their fault we have a 30 second rule!

Guest: Damn really!?! Makes sense tho, if there's a fire you gotta get out fast!

Friend: Yeah, I Never gave it much thought before they brought it up, but yeah the last thing you want is a fire when you're all tired up!

Guest: Yeah, that's true. I didn't know they came up with the rule, tho. I do like having the space between the beds clear...

Friend: Yeah it's so annoying when people block the path with their shit.

Guest: Yeah there's not enough space between beds for people to be hording shit.

Friend: Yeah! I loved that they always got people to keep their area clear.

Guest: not gonna lie i hate being told to clean up but it is better that way.

Friend: Yeah... haha.

Guest: well it was nice chatting with you brother.

Friend: you too, man! See ya around!

Guest: see ya!

Me:

@mageless