Annie is your favourite

She's always been studying the family dynamics of other people's families, her emphasis is mostly on Mother-daughter relationships. Shisui constantly taking or injesting things that would terminate a possible pregnancy, she refused to be a mother because she didn't want to be like her mother (outside of political reasons). maomao's exact wording being, "shisui refused to become a mother, enough to willingly take abortion medicine. Shisui only has one mother. But she doesn't want to be like Shenmei." Initially it seems like the emphasis is placed on the reason Why shisui doesn't want to become a mother, but if you think abt it just a little more, I think it could also be a bit of shock on maomao's part abt how badly shisui didn't want to become a mother that she was willing to do anything to make sure it didn't happen. It was the desperation in shisui's actions that shocked her a little bit.

She also looks at Gyokuyo pregnant about to become a mother to a second child and she's quite fond of gyukyo. She thinks gyukyo is a wonderful mother and i think at times it makes her a little sentimental like when she said, "I don't know what it's like having fond memories of a mother." But she gets to witness a lovely mother making fond memories with her own daughter.

She thinks about xiaolan and how her parents sold her off and it makes her a little sad. Shisui only has one mother and she wants to be nothing like her maomao thinks to herself. It's as if she's studying, trying to understand what it is about mothers, what's it like having one? Is she really missing out on anything?

I think it's also a little ironic that maomao whether consciously or subconsciously seeks to understand what a mother's love feels like, all the love and protectiveness she didn't receive from her mother is everything that Lakan tries to give her.

Then there's Pairin, maomao mentioned how when she was just a baby, Pairin breastfed her so she has a semblance of a motherly bond with her, but she sees pairin as her older sister more than anything else.

lakan left for 3 years and when he returned he kneeled in the stormy streets, covered in his own blood, because he ruined her. he killed her and he didn't even know. all he has is her finger in his palm.

he is the villain in his own story. he is the cunning man who dropped a star from the sky. the master strategist who arranges the board and sees his game to victory.

there is no twist. he has always been him.

Does the feminist kill other people’s joy by pointing out moments of sexism? Or does she expose the bad feelings that get hidden, displaced, or negated under public signs of joy?

Does bad feeling enter the room when somebody expresses anger about things, or could anger be the moment when the bad feelings that circulate through objects get brought to the surface in a certain way?

Feminists do kill joy in a certain sense: they disturb the very fantasy that happiness can be found in certain places. To kill a fantasy can still kill a feeling. It is not just that feminists might not be happily affected by the objects that are supposed to cause happiness but that their failure to be happy is read as sabotaging the happiness of others.