Tide Pod Famous

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

[On phone] Whaddya mean I can't say it. Why the fuck not. [silence] Well how many guys do I need to fuck before I can say it

Pretty sure those things were native to Ireland too.

The most efficient way to exercise +5 hairless dogs at once is figure out which one of them is the fastest runner, slather that one with butter, and let them all loose at once to a fenced yard.

Efficient until you have to catch the buttered one.

This is what Scientologists believe

ya empezaron con "memes that transcend languages" cuando son palabras obvias

anglofonos cuando reconocen cognados:

Looks like it’s authentically soup

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

Oh my god, it’s a literal red herring!

foolproof, huh? well. let me proof to you how fool I can be