Discourse/Politics Blog

or are you misusing that phrase?

warning: i made this while annoyed and tired so feel free to correct it how you see fit

I have noticed a couple of people trying to use the word mansplaining to get trans men or trans masculine people to shut up about whatever topic it is they're discussing

If someone wants to starve themselves and doesn't want to get better that is none of my fucking business, ESPECIALLY if I do not personally know them! Like sure, it's a tragedy, it's unfortunate and I think they deserve help, support and to get better but if they don't want it any attempt to force them into recovery will only end with repeative cycles of relapse.

it’s not. this is barely disguised eugenics that they have ACKNOWLEDGED may (will) do more to harm than good for people with abnormal mental states. what else could the end result of finding a “mental illness gene” be than a reason to further marginalize those who are already marginalized, already branded as more likely to be (or even inherently) “mentally ill” and eventually discourage them to reproduce, either by coercion or force?

Given where these hardships cluster most intensely, it is extremely useful to white supremacy and eugenics to have a "scientific" method of proving that pathology is more common among "degenerate" populations.

The first idea is "the patriarchy does not oppress men, it punishes failed men."

I am going to word this in a very particular way because I think exactness on what is happening is important.

The patriarchy oppresses men by imposing artificial and harmful standards of "manliness". Men are punished for failing to adhere to these standards, but the standards themselves are inherently oppressive even to those who conform to those standards. In addition, these standards are not inherent to manliness or for the benefit of the men who conform to them, but exist to prop up and perpetuate the patriarchy. This is not to say men, individually or as a group (conditional on a lot of factors I can not possibly enumerate here), do not benefit from the patriarchy. But these artificial standards themselves are oppressive and not beneficial.

That ends the exactness part. It's pretty plain, but let's look at what I consider the most obvious example: emotional repression. A whole lot has been said about how men are expected to bury their feelings. Failing to do so will have severe social repercussions, but being coerced into emotional repression is oppressive even if you do conform. It is not good for a person to be emotionally repressed. It is harmful to that individual (to say nothing about the effects on those around them).

Emotional repression is also not an inherent trait of manliness. A man is not a failure of a man if he is willing and able to express emotions.

It is wrong to try to frame male oppression under the patriarchy solely as a matter of punishing failed men. Men are punished not for failing to be men, but for not conforming to a set of artificial oppressive standards. Non conformance is punished, but both conforming and non conforming men can be said to be oppressed by the patriarchy.

The second idea is that white cis straight etc. Maleness is not oppressed, but that deviations into minority identity maleness is, framing the whole issue in terms of identity politics. While it is true marginalized men are oppressed more heavily and violently, and often specifically because of aspects of maleness related to their minority identities, that does not account for everything. This is not simply a matter of black vs white or cis vs trans.

and. for some people. there is real healing in letting yourself enjoy pink again. like for me. i do have gender based trauma, and the color pink being pushed on me wasnt just frustrating. it was a symbol of all the trauma i'd been through.

when i was a kid, pink was my favorite color. when i was a teenager, i hated pink. now, as a young adult, i love pink.

i've learned i'm allowed to like pink. it doesn't say anything about who i am other than the fact i like pink. it's a color. and being able to see it as just a color instead of a symbol of all the trauma i've been thru?

healing. but not the inner divine feminine or whatever the fuck. just healing me. a demigirl catboy who loves pink.

YOU: hey guys here's a pic of me, be nice, I'm a lil dysphoric! and be normal please I'm in a relationship!

cisgender man: don't get the surgery

cisgender woman: omg queen! its so giving [GENDER YOU DO NOT IDENTIFY AS]

person who cant read: ummm... pleeeease step on me mommyyy

Horrible Guy: God will consign you and your ilk to the wrath of a lake of sulfur at the end of days

Same guy in your DMs immediately after: ummm... pleeeease step on me mommyyy

your transmasc friend: god I'm so sorry that people are being so awful to you! you look amazing in this picture, I'm so sorry people are awful about trans people. it has happened to me too. thinking of u 🫂

YOU: tysm 🫂