Pouring cocaine onto a mirror and using a tiny zen garden rake to make decorative soothing swirls in it

i got bit by a snake! quick!! you have to jerk me off to get the poison out! and pinch my nipples a little, too. and call me good boy! yeah that’s the only antidote I looked it up on Internet Explorerrrrrrr

i didn’t post this. i was hacked and this is all they posted #promise

can you tell the hacker to come back

Italians are withholding from the public how easy it is to make fettuccine alfredo because they want to lure you into their gay little restaurants

She gave me what she called a “spiderjob” which freaked me & everyone else out

solid b on the tongue action. made of each other. never liked you you're sort of prissy. bitch in every sense of the term. super simplistic and silly way. big fat liar and a bad person. sort of different. you know what I mean? some would say "special." no offense. etc.

that edible you took three years ago is about to kick in

you laugh but years ago i had a massive head cold and i was sitting at a red light trying to blow my nose so hard you'd think i was giving birth through my nostril and all of a sudden i got snow drainage like that taste and the coaty throat and my gums went numb like wtf. at that point i'd been clean off the yayo for almost a dozen years like do i seriously have a weird pocket of cocaine packed far up in my sinus somewhere or wtf is happening.

the world is so beautiful

Life has been getting too much lately, huh darling? Poor thing. Why don’t you come sit on my lap so I can feed you too many smoke filled kisses while forcing you back and forth against my bulge until you’re too dumb to remember whatever silly little thing you were talking about? Works wonders from what I hear.

Myfavorite type of character is the ones whose sexuality is "victim" / "things happen to them"