i wanted to know you

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

Yeah I think he probably lets all his limbs go limp and just gets hauled around by his arms like a ragdoll (I tense up as the audience starts murmuring to each other and shaking their heads) I mean he has sex normally. He can access his own body during sex

tie me to the bed with our red string of fate

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

The idea of two people having sex and it creating another, smaller person who has a combination of their traits sounds like it was made up for fan fiction but alas I've heard tale that it's really happened

"there's like 8 rich guys standing between us and shorter working hours / week" posting is fine until you think about it for two seconds and realize that the most rabidly anti-reformist group of people are the people with a bar and two employees who would amputate one of their worker's arms if it meant getting a 0.8% income tax cut

I bring a kind of frozen deer vibe to situations that the headlights really seem to like

hanging from the meat hook all by yourself, handsome?

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

jf i was vladimir nabokov and i was writing lolita i would make her an adult becaude then it would t be dark problematic media and instead a sweet romabce between two adults (woke and pure)

God just dropped a new commandment; “blond people go to hell no matter what”-god