Freshly brewed

okay okay i can close some tabs i don't need this google image search of "pear trees"....well you never know actually

You can also TEXT "START" to 678-678 or go to their website! There are 700+ of you following me. You don't need to be from the US to reblog this. Reblog.

i’m usually a gimmick blog but this is serious. Always remember start to 678678 it’s saved even me a couple times. I love you all, please be safe

So I just made a joke that "more women should poison their husbands" to my cool boss and then immediately found out that he got divorced because he was poisoned by his ex-wife

I'm apologizing profusely and he's like "oh it's fine it was funny" and then he offhandedly mentions that his next girlfriend tried to poison him also

Yeah this is going to break containment babe.

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT

Why would you only supply screenshots and not links to the actual videos????

There are links in other reblogs and their urls are in the posts. However, posting an outside link on Tumblr means it wouldn't show up in the tags... Thus reaching less people.

#when darth vader is strutting through the flight hangar and you’re an imperial accountant 2 decks below x

I am not exactly sure why this made me laugh so hard, but it totally did.

Lmao. -clerk at desk looks up, looks at cubicle buddy- ‘We need raises.’ ‘Yep.’

#there’s some plot happening but not in this room

The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season

THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP

COOKIES ACQUIRED

how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes

Oh my god it’s back

THE DREAD GAZEEBO HAS EVOLVED AND BECOME MOBILE