Well, shit. @inquisidurr - Tumblr Blog

T. Kingfisher - What Stalks the Deep

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generic-internet-name

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

generic-internet-name

you can't get out that way!

generic-internet-name

that's not very helpful.

generic-internet-name

maybe the open window will help.

generic-internet-name

try the open window instead.

bananatwinky

thethirdromana

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

transmortifried

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

charlesoberonn

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

anatomizer

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

thepersonalmossblog

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

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ravioliet

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

52stations

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'

str-ngeloop

we desperately need sex 2

str-ngeloop

i just know someone's going to mention kink. girl that's still sex 1. we had to invent BDSM cause we didn't have sex 2. tis but a pale reflection. but it's coming

str-ngeloop

kink reaches mayyybe like sex 1.3 if it hits just right

dizzyghoast

when sex 2 comes out what sorts of quality of life updates will be included to help draw in people who never really got into sex 1

str-ngeloop

more pleasurable. more intellectually stimulating. higher skill ceiling. more dynamic metagame. optionally more mental-emotional alignment between parties. less cleanup. more intuitive. more variety in sensation and activity to match diverse sensory tendencies. smoother integration with parties' coupled emotional processing. and so on

cymae-mesa

Fishing minigame.

existentialterror

Fishing minigame

bebx

I should be allowed to use fuck if I know as an appropriate and professional response to a work email

lowpawly

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

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gif87a-com

homosexualontheloose

sunshine-tattoo

i was about to say this is at the Toronto airport and then suddenly it definitely. Was. Not.

uncle-beanbag-mojave

That’s just the Toronto Bannana Boa

acerby

Jörmungandr is trying to catch a plane they are late for ragnarok

peacozy

Locked in? No. Im tucked in. Goodnight

reynard61

Let's ambush mama! 😼

dvandom

"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"

"Pallas kittens."

waywardmartian

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

zennagreenwitch

The face of a mother who knows exactly what is going on behind her

cryptotheism

Adam: Your older brother. Abel. He's dead.

Adams third child, Seth: What is that?

Adam: I don't know. This is new for me too.

cryptotheism

Eve: I think "dead" is what happens to dinnerbeasts.

Seth:

Eve: We might have to dinner him.

insert-witty-user-name-here

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming