Sorry I’m late I was touching soft moss on a stone wall

[girl in a low cut top voice] i just dont know what it is but everyone is being sooo nice to me today….[grows grave and guarded] they’re conspiring against my reign and they think me a fool

(smiling serenely) i’m going to attack you now

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag

a friend with a boyfriend is a type of dead wife

imagining an alternate timeline where shakespeare wrote a play about king arthur. we would be so unwell

yeah cause thou art so well otherwise, tumblr user currently crying about Lancelot

you know what verily i deserv’d this

whatevers going on in my subconscious brain is none of my business truly

computer throw a brick at this guy

You know what, fuck you. *Romanticizes the monstrous in a way that is deeply compelling to people who feel they've been ostracized from mainstream society in one way or another, and also at least a little bit horny*

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this