Career goal: village witch

never lose hope. somewhere, a middle-aged, gender ambiguous person with an advanced degree in an esoteric field and a fiber arts hobby could be crashing out and pinning all their remaining mental health on getting obsessed with your otp. any day now, the most elegantly written 100k fanfic you have ever read is going to hit ao3. it could happen. it has happened.

beautiful tall woman wearing a sports bra and overalls and fixing a motorcycle just lit a cigarette with a blowtorch i almost walked into traffic

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

The thing is every step of the situation does actually make perfect sense if you follow it more closely. Why is Farage stepping down and immediately re-running? Well he's trying to delay the investigation into his finances and also pull a PR stunt. Why is no-one else running? Well they don't actually want him out of parliament yet because they want the investigation to continue. Why is his main competitor a man with a bin on his head? Oh that's just Count Binface, he runs every time there's a high profile by-election. Why is he Count Binface? Well he used to be Lord Buckethead but he had to drop the character due to a copyright dispute. Why was he Lord Buckethead? Well in 1977, Star Wars was released in cinemas,

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

“what are you gonna do, cry about it?” yes . the fuck

girl vampires are so cool we need more girl vampires in general

and like. girl vampires who are given the same kind of depth as male vampires of reconciling their own monstrous desires with how human they still are or not. and not like. vapid sexy temptresses or whatever. they have their time and place but i want a girl vampire desperately gripping the sink looking into the mirror just to see what isnt there anymore

the ideal media diet for a child is books and music from at least fifty years ago so they are always out of touch with the references and allusions of their peer group

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal