to be (yours)

oh mein gott a viener dog!

throwing a grenade and then immediately throwing myself on top of it to save everyone

i completely miss the grenade and everyone in the room dies including me

Democrat political strategy

Receding hairlines are a hoe trait. Male pattern thottiness

Hell yeah king show more skin!

you guys are just posting anything these days

Gonna be on 12-hours duty at the hospital for the first time tonight, wish me luck

We did it, lads!

w-which one did you do

We did it!!! 👏👏

BILL NYE!!!!!!

yaaaaaaaaaaay

hey sorry i'm late i wandered into a liminal space

what do you mean i've been missing for 10 years

i love file names i love gif i love png i love jpg i love mp4 i love mp3 i love txt i love pdf i love jar i love wav i love zip

rearranges your dna alphabetically

You’d die

i wouldn't. because im doing it to you

Finally, society managed to combine Morphology (linguistics) and Morphology (biology)

@magicalskeleton

if your dom is older you call him daddy, but what if he’s younger? what am i supposed to call a hot attractive dom who is younger than me?

this is why tumblr is worth pennies now

To be fair this is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read

Is this not The Great Gatsby fanfiction?