Please Indulge My Weirdness

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

people who get what I mean:

people who have found a way to have fun in the corn maze but who I'm a little worried about:

person who we are going to put in the corn:

“When he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.”

[ID: question by anonymous: did they answer the question though ///end ID]

the navy officer i asked about cyber attacks did answer my question very thoroughly. he also answered other questions such as "when refueling on sea, which boat is the primary course holder?" and "would switching to another government branch affect your retirement benefits?" and generally provided a lot of information over the course of a fascinating hour that as a former government employee myself i am pretty sure he should not have told me. but i also think he would have told me his social security number if i asked nicely (i didn't, I was busy learning about the tactical advantages of speedboats).

the guy obsessed with boat refurbishment that i asked about his tendency towards preservation gave me a really haunted look, said "holy fuck" and then after a moment of consideration "i think i am too drunk. i'm going home" and proceeded to leave. in my defense, it was well and truly meant as genuine curiosity and not as the attempt at psychological warfare it turned out to be. he unfortunately did not answer my question.

If you see a fawn laying down on the ground all alone, leave it alone. It is not lost, it does not need your help, do not pick it up, do not move it.

This behavior evolved to keep deer young safe. The baby is very small, very quiet, and hard for most predators to see. A young fawn cannot keep up with a fleeing mother deer, which is their primary problem-solving strategy. So while the mother goes elsewhere to graze, the fawn stays safe and hidden. The mom will be back.

- Shane and Ilya have known each other for over 10 years, and understand and connect with each other in a way that no one could ever touch. So, the two have synced up in a way that whenever Ilya forgets a word, all he has to do is hesitate and make a vague hand gesture, and Shane will know exactly what he's talking about and supply the word. It's insane. One time Shane figured out the word "beach" from Ilya waving a flat hand back and forth. This greatly confuses people who don't know they're together, and scares the people who do. It also makes them HORRIBLE to play against in charades.

- In the early years, there was a couple months where Ilya was very intrigued by how interchangeably Shane used his first and last name in French interviews, and how frequently he came up. He never understood what they were saying, but he found himself watching those interviews over and over, liking the way his name sounded in Shane's mouth, and how it made his heart leap everytime he heard it. He was incredibly embarassed to learn that Shane was, in fact, not saying "ilya", but rather "il y a" (pronounced eel-ee-yah in quick succession), the french phrase for "there is". But the damage was done, and the way Ilya felt whenever Shane said those words just got harder and harder to ignore.

- Shane canonically starts learning Russian for Ilya, and when Shane does something, he has to perfect it. He has days where he will only let himself speak in Russian to Ilya, if he's not watching hockey, he's watching Russian media and pronunciation tutorials, hell he even starts going to an Eastern European deli so he can practice speaking to other people. Ilya is insanely endeared by how serious Shane takes this, partially because it's just so Shane, and because it's such a weight off to not have to translate everything before speaking. Shane is motivated by how much it clearly means to Ilya, his relentless ambition, and the fact that speaking Russian usually gets him laid.

- From either living in or being from Ottawa and Montreal, I feel like most of the people in Shane's life, including Shane, have adopted the very Ottawan trait of just peppering random french phrases into everyday speech. It's not a full switch between the two languages (unless it's with JJ or some of the other Quebecois metros), just a casual "d'accord", "moi aussi" ou "aucune idée" in conversation. They're so used to it that it's not until Yuna answers a question Ilya asks with "je sais pas" and is met with a blank is that a yes or no? stare that they finally clue in that WAIT RIGHT YOU KNOW ZERO FRENCH. They then teach Ilya a couple french phrases so he can feel included

fall in love again and again...