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Damian: I've never actually been in a snowball fight.

Jon: Really?

Damian: I don't even know the rules. Is there like a point system, or is it... to the death?

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Damian, adopting a new pet: I've only had them for a day and a half but if anything happened happened to them, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

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Harper: I have a few knives up my sleeve

Duke: I think you meant cards

Tim, with an exasperated sigh: She did not

Harper, pulling various knives out of her sleeves: I did not

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Wow. I could so easily freak out right now

Tim Drake

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Duke: What are the signs of depression?

Jason: Why are you asking me?

Duke: I just saw Tim drop a book and say, “even gravity hates me”.

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Damian: We? You’re coming with me? No offence, Dick, but I don’t need company.

Dick: It’s not company, it’s babysitting.

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Roy: Me and Jason broke up.

Barbara: Jason and I broke up.

Roy: Wait, you guys broke up, too?

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Steph: Name a way to be nice to people.

Damian: Don't kill them.

Steph: Setting the bar really low, but I'll allow it.

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Clark: What happened to my fun best friend?

Bruce: I was never fun, you take that back.

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Dick: It only takes three generations for you to be basically forgotten.

Wally: Tell that to my great great uncle who is the reason that it’s illegal to drive a tractor while drunk in the state of Kansas.

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Therapist: I heard you said that your childhood experience was satisfactory?

Jason: No, you misheard me. I said it was a “sadness factory”.

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Bart: I'm the kind of guy that likes to think things through.

Tim: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.

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Alfred: Please tell me you did not kidnap him, Master Bruce?

Bruce, carrying Duke: I did not kidnap him

Alfred: Oh thank goodness

Bruce: I adopted him

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Harper: What kind of spider is that?

Duke: It’s a daddy long legs

Harper: Alright it’s a good-looking spider, but I wouldn’t say it’s “daddy”.

Duke: …Wait what

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mas-que-loucura-menina

You can't tell me this isn't exactly what happened

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Tim: Isn't it past your bedtime?

Damian: Isn't it time you died?

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If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending matter, assert your newly appointed loyal status and have him beheaded.

Katherine Kane

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