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"Discowing" was unironically Nightwing's best costume. I'm sorry but it's true. It was the only one that has a completely distinct identity of its own based solely in Dick's character and wasn't just trying to be Batman Lite. Dick was an aerialist, so he dresses like an aerialist. He's a performer and a showman, so he dresses like one. Is it silly looking? Yes, because it's a superhero costume. I don't know if you noticed but Batman has pointy ears and wears his underwear on the outside and he looks completely fucking ridiculous. Get onboard or get the hell outta comics.
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summary: the justice league thinks bruce has lowkey lost his mind when he hosts a pool party at the manor, but hey, who are they to turn one down?
cw: swearing, silly siblings
a/n: shoutout to @/ragingbookdragon, i read their pool party fic in the first few months of getting tumblr and it was so fire. idek why im writing this tbh it's winter in australia rn.
You told your dad a pool party would be fun, and after a significant amount of convincing him, he relented.
The first time Bruce announced the idea at dinner, the entire table went silent.
“So kids, me and your sister were talking, and I’m planning on hosting a pool party.”
Jason blinked. “You mean like… socially?”
“Yes.”
Damian slowly lowered his fork. “Why?”
Bruce sighed deeply. “It’s for the start of summer.”
Tim looked up from his coffee. “You’re willingly inviting the justice league into the manor.”
“Correct.”
“Voluntarily.”
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m beginning to regret sharing ideas with you people.”
The League thought Bruce had finally snapped too.
Hal laughed for like five straight minutes when Clark told him.
“Bruce?” Hal wheezed. “Hosting a POOL PARTY?”
Diana smiled knowingly though. “It was probably Y/N’s idea.”
Clark nodded instantly. “Absolutely Y/N’s idea.”
Pre-planning for the pool party starts like it’s a military operation. Bruce genuinely makes spreadsheets. Colour-coded ones.
Barbara somehow gets dragged into organising RSVPs because apparently nobody else is “capable of answering messages like functioning members of society.”
“I need final numbers by Friday,” Barbara says into the Justice League official WhatsApp group chat (look me in the eye and tell me they wouldn't have one c'mon)
Wally replies instantly: put me down for 3
Barbara: Why three.
Wally: idk im hungry
The family group chat, on the other hand, becomes unbearable within hours.
Dick: Can I invite the Titans?
Bruce: They were already invited.
Jason: Can Roy bring his weird grill
Bruce: No.
You: Do you think we can hire one of those huge inflatable water slides
Bruce: Also no
Costco shopping day is genuinely catastrophic.
Alfred takes you, Steph, and Cass because Bruce “doesn’t trust the boys to grocery shop responsibly.”
Which is fair because Dick once bought jalapenos and cream cheese to make jalapeno cream cheese takis but actually forgot the takis (my brother did this once)
“Guys we need mozzarella sticks.”
“My dear Stephanie,” Alfred says calmly, “we already have three boxes.”
“Okay but what if people want MORE mozzarella sticks?”
You and Cass disappear for twenty minutes and come back with enough chips to survive the apocalypse.
Alfred looks at the trolley.
Looks at both of you.
Then simply sighs in tired acceptance.
Cass records Steph trying to lift the giant catering-sized tub of potato salad and immediately dropping it.
“WHY IS IT SO DENSE?”
“Because,” you laugh, “it’s potato salad.”
You and Alfred spend the night before the party making food together in the manor kitchen.
Sandwich platters. Fruit trays. Sliders. Pasta salad. Desserts. Mocktails. Fancy lemonade. Literally everything imaginable.
Meanwhile outside Dick and Tim are in charge of chairs, lights, and decorations.
Dick tries making things aesthetic.
Tim tries making things practical.
They argue the entire time.
“The fairy lights go HERE.”
“Nobody cares about fairy lights.” ("nobody cares about TIIIM Drake" type shit)
“You have no vision.”
“You spent forty minutes arranging cushions.”
“Because pillow decor matters, Timothy.”
Jason gets assigned floatie duty because Bruce refuses to let him near “anything expensive or explosive.”
Unfortunately, Jason takes the floaties VERY seriously.
There are giant flamingos, sharks, an inflatable Batmobile, a dragon the size of a sedan.
He’s outside sweating with an industrial air pump muttering angrily.
“If one more damn inflatable swan deflates I’m ending it all.”
Damian gets stuck wrangling the house pets into the manor before guests arrive.
Which sounds easy until you remember: Titus exists, Ace exists, Alfred the cat exists, and Elizabeth exists
Damian walks into the kitchen carrying a lot of leashes and visible irritation.
And finally everyone starts showing up, getting the party started.
The driveway becomes ridiculous.
Cars everywhere.
Bikes everywhere.
Somebody parked a spaceship nearby
Alfred starts tweaking at the sight of the horrific parking jobs the fucking Justice League of America have done.
The energy shifts instantly once everybody arrives.
Music starts booming through the speakers, of which you are in full control of because everyone agrees you have the best music taste (and spotify premium).
People jump in the pool immediately. Conversations overlap everywhere. Somebody’s laughing every five seconds.
Kori and Donna end up securing the hot tub and camp there for a significant amount of time until Dick successfully bribed them out with food
Bruce stands near the patio watching everyone anxiously for a moment before you walk over handing him a drink.
Jonathan and Damian screw off to play Cheese Vikings
Chicken fight is going on and shit hits the fan in the water.
Jason spends most of the party throwing people (mainly Damian) into the pool
Bruce spends most of the afternoon yelling about running and sunscreen and it drives him up the wall.
"STOP RUNNING."
Nobody listens.
"I MEAN IT."
Still nobody listens.
The sunscreen situation becomes a coordinated operation.
Bruce, Diana, and Dinah have all agreed that nobody is escaping.
Nobody.
You try.
Naturally.
"I'm literally fine."
"No."
"Dad."
"No."
Ten minutes later Bruce is physically holding your face still while applying sunscreen.
The water gun war starts because of you (Bruce confiscated Damian's nerf guns moments prior to this)
It always starts because of you.
You, Tim, and Steph form an alliance.
A dangerous one.
Mostly because all three of you are unbelievably annoying together
Steph shoots first.
Tim immediately follows.
You get Bart directly in the shoulder.
"BETRAYAL."
"You were never on the team."
The backyard descends into war.
Then Steph makes a horrible decision.
A truly horrible decision.
She sprays Bruce.
Silence.
Bruce slowly lowers the martini he was holding.
Everybody freezes.
Steph immediately realises. "...Oops."
Bruce disappears into the main garage.
Nobody likes that.
Nobody likes that at all.
Three minutes later he returns carrying a garden hose.
The screaming is immediate.
"OH MY GOD."
"WHAT THE FUK HE'S GOT THE HOSE."
"RUN."
Bruce absolutely hoses down every single person involved.
Including you.
"DAD."
"Consequences."
"I WASN'T EVEN THE ONE WHO STARTED IT."
"You were encouraging her."
In the kitchen, you and Cass slather vegetable oil over the melon so you guys can play Greased Watermelon and that was a complete flop when Jason tried to take the melon away from Roy and in an attempt to score, threw it out of the pool and it cracked.
Your earring falls in the water (rip)
Whenever any water games were going on, everyone would get scared and scream in terror when Arthur, Garth or Kaldur entered the pool lmao
"Can we boycott Atlanteans from water games"
"Yo I lowkey second that"
You threw a beach ball at Hal and lied and said it was Barry so for the remainder of the day he had a vendetta against the poor man.
You, Dinah, Steph, Diana, Cass and Lois end up playing volleyball for a short while but Diana absolutely volleymogged everyone (#amazonianthingz)
Eventually Bruce makes the mistake of asking you to order more food.
Specifically because the heroes have somehow consumed enough food to feed a village.
"Can you order more pizzas?"
"Sure."
Your brothers gather around to listen because nobody trusts you to make phone calls normally.
"Hi, yes."
"..."
"How many pizzas?"
You look around.
"How many people are here?"
Dick starts counting.
Gives up halfway.
"Like fifty?"
"Sixty."
"Seventy if Wally and Uncle Barry eat."
"Fuck okay," you tell the employee. "Hi! Can I please get twenty pizzas?"
Silence.
"Yes."
"Two zero."
"Twenty."
The employee genuinely thinks it's a prank.
"No ma'am, I swear this is real."
"Yes, people are actually going to eat all of that."
"No, I'm not hosting a school."
"Can I get 4 barbecue, 3 vegaterian, 4 meat lovers, 2 Hawaiian and a couple of pepperoni please"
"Thank you, that'll be to 1007 Mountain Drive, Crest Hill, Bristol Township."
Bruce genuinely spazzes out trying to get you, Dick and Jason to stop jumping out of the second floor window into the pool.
"Do you kids not value your lives."
"Chill out Bruce we jump from skyscrapers like every night"
Your siblings get on your nerves normally, but today it was particularly worse when Tim decided to run upstairs to your room and use a spare bikini of yours to catapult grapefruits at Damian from your balcony and you get your dad to yell at him.
"TIMOTHY STOP USING YOUR SISTER'S CLOTHES TO SLINGSHOT FRUIT AT YOUR BROTHER"
"SORRY BRUCE"
At one point Titus ends up escaping the manor when the door to outside is left open and goes and steals food and you have to stop him from jumping in the pool.
"DAMIAN COME GET YOUR DOG"
Bruce considers the day a total disaster because his blood pressure was through the rood, but everyone else thinks it was a success.
He'll probably get pressured into doing this again next year or some shit.
But it was definitely worth it seeing the smiles on everyone's faces <3
A/N: So much of this shit was based off me and my family and extended family. I am always put on food duty when it comes to parties at my house no lie.
