On one hand, there is a fundamental disconnect between Gideon and Harrow's attitude to their relationship by the end of GtN; Harrow wants to stop using and exploiting Gideon, and Gideon meanwhile has decided to embrace being used and exploited by Harrow. But I think Gideon's understanding of their relationship post-pool scene is also influenced by the fact that Harrow asks Gideon to return to the Ninth. Gideon has just forgiven Harrow for trapping her in a life of abuse and slavery on the Ninth, in large part because Harrow expressed such intense regret about it and displayed a level of empathy for Gideon's pain that she had never shown before. And then Harrow immediately... tries to trap Gideon into abuse and slavery on the Ninth again.
And from Harrow's perspective the request makes sense! She doesn't want Gideon to die for her, but she has a responsibility to stay alive in order to care for the Ninth and Alecto. So this is the obvious compromise. And it's also her attempt at reversing the power dynamic of the necrocav relationship, and asserting that Gideon's life is more valuable than hers.
But at the same time, you can see it as a cheap way of trying to "make amends" in the technical sense, and therefore assuage Harrow's guilt, while also doing nothing to actually help Gideon. Harrow gets to die "saving" Gideon, feeling righteous, making up for the sin of her birth, etc, and Gideon has to go back to the Ninth. In one way, the request is yet another instance of Harrow exploiting Gideon to meet her own needs and desires.
She's also reasserting the idea that Gideon has a duty to the Ninth. When Gideon's supposed duty to the Ninth has always been used as a justification for their abuse and exploitation of her, and when she has just learned that they tried to kill her as a baby and spent the next eighteen years punishing her because she didn't die for their heir. With this context, insisting on Gideon's duty to the Ninth is essentially the same as insisting that Gideon is still the Ninth's property, and therefore still Harrow's property.
I think when Harrow asks Gideon to return to the Ninth, what this tells Gideon is that their relationship will always be a fundamentally exploitative one. Even if Harrow feels bad about it, even if she tries to do better or to make it into something different, she will always prioritise the needs of herself and the Ninth above Gideon. Even if Harrow thinks she's building a better relationship with Gideon, she will always be using Gideon for her own ends, while maybe not even realising she's doing so.
Harrow is devastated about Gideon's death, of course, but I think one thing she doesn't realise is that by asking Gideon to go back to the Ninth she essentially told Gideon how to relate to her, and how to treat her, and what the terms of the relationship would be. And Gideon accepted the relationship on those terms, because she realised that she was genuinely important to Harrow, in a way she had never been for anyone else. So of course Gideon sacrificed herself for Harrow, and of course Harrow was surprised by it; Gideon understood what the relationship was, and always would be, in a way that Harrow didn't.
And of course you have the ambiguity around Gideon's self-sacrifice as well... The way it is the ultimate display of Harrow's domination and exploitation of Gideon, with Gideon making herself into an object for Harrow to use and consume... And at the same time it's Gideon forcing herself on Harrow, using Harrow for her own ends, asserting power over Harrow... Dying for Harrow in a controlling and exploitative way, as Harrow wanted to do for her! Forgiveness!
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
prguitarman
amandla
