get over it

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

oh, of course. because he died for our sins.

One time my optometrist told me I had "great vision, but poor focus" and I laughed for like ten minutes and he was all "yeah, I could have said that differently."

yeah sorry would you mind clearing the whole terminal for us my plane's reactive he will lunge across the taxiway if he sees another jet

i do think the negative interpretations of "im probably nonbinary but i have a job right now" are kind of reaching. it's obviously a waste of time to theorize the op's intended meaning, so instead i think it's better to recognize how the phrase can be a useful framing device to criticize how much of a fucking hassle it is to get gendered correctly. "but i have a job" e.g. will face discrimination that could threaten livelihood; e.g. don't have the mental bandwidth to explain gender to others; e.g. don't have the time and energy for the soul-searching necessary to confirm. all three of these are labor issues. yes you could interpret it as "but being nonbinary isn't important enough to worry about", despite that being a blatantly bad-faith read. it's more useful to interpret it as "but being publicly nonbinary requires a lot of social effort that, in many cultural contexts, will create more problems that you can't afford to deal with". like cmon it's a really good jumping off point for productive conversations about queer labor rights

hamlet is so funny all the time. horatio being like ghosts aren’t real. i know this. i know ghosts aren’t real. i am a real mature student who goes to school and studies real mature things so i know ghosts aren’t real. i know this because i go to school. gets to denmark and the guards are like oh you go to school??? thank God we need someone who learned how to talk to ghosts

i will never accept hamlet being 30 something not because i am on the “30 years old = old man” website but simply because the first time i read hamlet i was 17 and just felt in my heart that is how old he had to be, too, purely based on vibes. idc how old he is no one will ever be more 17 years old than hamlet