The Introvert

Nope! Nah, not that either. No, we didn't break up. Even better, we're moving in together! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, terrified even! I've got a HUGE lump in my throat at the current moment. The more I talk about/think about it, I have the feeling of either taking a shit, or throwing up. I'm scared...for the obvious reasons and then some.

For my audience out there, I, like everyone else out there thinking that love was out of the question for them and that this would be "the last time" in search of it. I took a chance on a dating app. Which one you ask? Match.com.

I created my profile, but was hesitant as to what I really wanted to say. You read these articles about what to say on your dating profile.

"keep it short and sweet, straight to the point"

"show a picture of you and your dog/cat"

"selfies"

"show a little skin"

"show them you have a good relationship with your family"

"keep them guessing. Don't go into too much detail"

"Be yourself"...I kept it simple and did just that. I stayed genuine to who I really am. If they can't go for that, then they're NOT worth it!

You're always gonna get those weirdos who send "dick pics" and the one's who just want to hook-up.

I believe it was on the second day I swiped to his profile and the bearded guy in the woods with a kitty crawling on his shoulder peaked my interest. That, and I was curious that he said he "ate shark". lol You might be thinking, "you're fucking weird". But I'm a chef, and that is what got me to send him that dreaded, "hey, how's it going?" message.

It's kind of hard to come up with an intro for this entry into my LDR. I want to just get right into it. Before I begin, I want to say, that this has been a journey for me. One that I NEVER thought I'd be on. Once I realized that this was going to be my life, I needed some kind of guidance. Answers for all these questions and feelings that I had.

They say everyone's situation is different, and I am no exception. I couldn't find articles that were close enough to my situation. There are the usual ones on just the blanketed versions of an LDR.

"How to stay in touch"

"Communication is key"

"Keeping the love alive"

Things of that nature. I feel like there aren't really any out there that really touch on the in-depth downsides to it. There are a whole lot out there that talk about the upside to it all. Probably to not get the "First timers" down and keep their spirits alive. There's definitely more to it than that. People should really understand what they are getting themselves into. I want to be that for people. Try and help as much as I can with what I'm experiencing.

That's not what I wanted to talk about just then, but ya know, when your brain is so packed, it pushes what it deems unmeaningful to the back of the line. Or maybe thats just a Sagittarius thing...Cause we just seem to blurt out whatever comes to mine.

I don't know y'all. It's like, I've found my outlet, my release. Which has made you draw your own conclusion about me thus far. I guess that's fair. (I guess) If I would've started out in reverse, you would've probably thought I was going insane.

Well, I'm not too far behind that. I'm not to sure what to expect from Tumblr. It may be something, it may be nothing. Maybe this is my outlet. Just letting all this shit out. No matter how small, or dumb it may sound.