eh

being anti-divorce is so fucking bonkers to me like yeah i think you're morally obligated to stay with some shithead who you hate forever. this is a normal and healthy thing to believe. let's have kids together and force them to grow up being raised by two people who hate each other. yeah this might fuck them up mentally during the most formative years of their life but it's the morally righteous thing to do. if there's one thing god loves it's traumatized children. i'm getting into heaven for sure

having a pet kinda awesome wdym i got a little scoundrel running around named after the guy in dracula who eats bugs

my scoundrel eats bugs too. nominative determinism

A rapscallion!

A curmudgeon!

A silly fellow <3

sometimes when I teach my kids classes I tell them "today I'm mr evil" which means if I see them smile or laugh I'm going to beat them with a pool noodle. this simultaneously makes them behave much better and infinitely worse.

mr evil hates children and hates fun and hates sloppy martial arts. he's like if the grinch was a bond villain. my kids like him more than me.

the secret reason I do this is because sometimes I run out of energy to emote and I'm like hurrah an excuse to be monotone and blank faced

the worst person you know thinks they're super empathetic. the kindest person you know thinks they're fucked up and evil

hi trans indigenous people I love you

hi indigenous people who don't identify with the label trans because you exist outside of the Western gender binary I love you

This post is like a fucking rosetta stone I've had the same theme song tagged in at least 6 languages so far

Cops can access your phone and all its contents through face and touch ID with a backdoor hack called “a cudgel to the back of the head”

I think you can tell a lot about how rigorous and committed someone's belief in a human right is by how quickly they are able to name people who they think could or should have that right taken away.

Some folks really did go straight to the replies to prove me right.