190+ day(s) since mentioning 911's CPR bpm on here

"You know why she's never shown sitting in a throne? It's because her throne is Celeborn's face."

Their first game of the season? Ended 13-0, partly due to how amazing Shane and Ilya and the rest of the team were, but mostly due to how unprepared the other team was, because no matter how good they knew Hollander and Rozanov were apart, nobody could predict just how good they’ll be together:

10 of these 13 goals were scored by Ilya and Shane because Weibe convinced them to make a bet on who would score the most goals in their first season for a “special reward” in June. Shane got a double hat trick and Ilya almost managed to look salty about loosing the bet in their first round.

Their first game against Montreal? Oh baby these metro fans were shocked at just how badly their previously almost undefeated team lost to fucking Ottawa. Shane gave an intermission interview at that game, and when he was asked how it felt to play against his former team for the first time he just stared at the camera, still panting from his 2 goals 2 assists 9:48 minutes of ice time 15 shots on goal and one fight he watched with Wyatt from the crease in the first period and says “I don’t see much of a difference, it’s just like playing any other team, the metros are still a very talented team and it’s always fun to have a challenge on the ice. Alright, I- yeah, thank you.” Then leaves and you can just barely hear Rozanov shouting from the locker room “why are you lying to press Hollander!”

During playoffs in one “tough” (the other team has scored more than two goals and it’s probably a season record against the Cens) game Weibe puts Ilya as a right wing and Shane as center on the first line and the other team has never been so fucking scared in their entire lives. The two are putting up an average of almost 15 minutes of play every period seemingly without getting tired. Ilya keeps stealing pucks to give to Shane to bury in the net. Their passes always connect. Every goal Shane scored Ilya assists and vice versa. Hayes got so bored he sang the entire wicked musical soundtrack twice without getting interrupted even once. The bench is laughing and cheering them on like the team next to them isn’t close to tears. Rozanov keeps cross checking everyone just to hear Hollander’s “Rozanov for fuck’s sake!” like they don’t have a seven goal lead. And after the game these bitches (Shane) have the audacity to mutter “good game” as they’re shaking hands with a smile on their face like they haven’t destroyed any ounce of self respect those men had.

I know what you did last november.

If you're going to bury the truth,

make sure you don't call 911.

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose